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Embarrassed and sad

Posted by on Jan. 4, 2014 at 6:30 PM
  • 23 Replies
So around Christmas my sons school had a Xmas program. They were suppose to stand there and sing 3 songs. My son new all these songs word for word sung them all week long to us. He is 3 and goes to a catholic preschool. He wouldn't stand in his spot and while all the other kids were singing he ran all over the stage and did his own thing. I was very embarrassed then I felt bad because I felt embarrassed of my own child. What is wrong with me? I love him so much I know he acts a little different but he is so special in my eyes. The teachers didn't seem to be pleased with his behavior and that made me very angry and defensive. I'm thinking about taking him out of the catholic school but I'm not sure what to do. I just want to do the best for him.
by on Jan. 4, 2014 at 6:30 PM
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by Member on Jan. 4, 2014 at 6:52 PM
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all i can really say is dont feel bad, i have felt embarrased too, and then felt bad for it. i love my son too and only want the best, its part of being a good parent. the teachers should have understood about his condition and had help on hand to take him off stage when he started acting up, the school i am going to would have, it just seems wrong they let it go on for so long. they know who he is and what he is like by now surely!

as far as taking him out of the school goes im sorry i have no advice on that one, you need to do what you feel is right on that end. all i can say is dont feel bad for being embarrased, it happens to us all at some stage, and we all usually feel bad about it after too, i think its normal even for nt kids.

take care and hugs

by Darby on Jan. 4, 2014 at 7:37 PM

Hugs mama!  I'm sorry you felt're only human.  Do his teachers know that he is Autistic?  They shouldn't have expected him to stand there the entire time with no issues.  Hugs!

by Bronze Member on Jan. 4, 2014 at 7:44 PM
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AH mom, we've been there. Please don't feel bad. I live by the slogan, someone's child will react and sometimes it will be mine. Relax, don't change your plans. One bad experience shouldn't trump all the good. There will be events when your child will make you so proud you will beam. It's ok, hold your head up!  

by on Jan. 4, 2014 at 7:45 PM

From what you wrote here, I don't get the impression that this program is a very good fit for your child. They should understand his limitations and not put him in situations which set him up for failure and make you feel uncomfortable. It doesn't sound like a very supportive environment for either of you. 

by Platinum Member on Jan. 4, 2014 at 8:05 PM

Oh momma. I think I would have felt the same way you did. First embarrassed then upset that I got embarrassed. As for being angry at the teachers that is fine. They know your son is different and for them to expect something like standing in one spot when there are crowds and louds noises is too much. My son would have done the same thing

by Platinum Member on Jan. 4, 2014 at 8:05 PM

Well sure... Who wouldnt be embarrased by "doing the unexpected"... But the issue lies in that their expectation of what he can do is Unfair... 

I cant imagine the sensory demands of that challenge, 

i got thru this every year with my guy, ASD HFA, his whole grade puts on a show.. And the noise, chaos, people staring at him, makes him uncomfy, he cant concentrate, mumbles the songs, picks his nose, yawns, looks around.. UGH, its horrible as a parent to watch,, heartbreaking.. That he isnt typical... Such a BIG reminder that he had difficulty where everyone else doesnt,,,, But, in that he IS doing his best, he WANTS to participate.. But YES, it breaks my heart to watch... This year, Im hoping he is sick that day.. ;) its TOO hard for me to watch too... 

by on Jan. 4, 2014 at 8:31 PM
My son has been diagnosed with developmental delays and I'm not sure what that means. I'm not sure what to exspect out of him and what to not even try. That is why I let him participate in the Xmas program because he was excited about the music and in the back of my mind I guess what I was thinking is this is going to prove to everyone he is a typical child. I guess I was wrong I cry every time I think about him being different or behind and I can barely even say the word autistic. He was evaluated by the cdu at childrens hospital saying he wasn't autistic but I just feel there is something going on and I want to know something.
by on Jan. 4, 2014 at 8:49 PM
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I cried watching my son at his end of year performance at his preschool.  He couldn't stand still, he was running all over the stage and the teachers had to chase him, but he did it.  I wouldn't change it.  It was hard to watch but I can also see all the progress he has made, and that makes me so proud.  If the school isn't a good fit, then it isn't a good fit and you should move on.  But if this was a solitary event, then, if I were you, I'd give it another chance.  

by Niki on Jan. 4, 2014 at 9:08 PM
In parenting any child they may sometimes embarrass us and other times we may do things that embarrass them. No need to feel bad.
by Gold Member on Jan. 4, 2014 at 10:12 PM
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I've been embarresed of my son too.  I suggest you have your child be transfered to a public preschool where he will receive the services he needs to grow and learn in school.  He will have an IEP with OT, PT, and speech services. You and the father are part of the IEP team to best help your son.  Some schools have other services too.  At these preschools they will teach your son how to follow directions and listen. 

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