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When others with No Experience Offer Advice....

Posted by on Jan. 9, 2014 at 11:34 AM
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Good Morning....

So I haven't been on CafeMom since August 2013... Last time I was here I was looking for answers because my 2 year old was showing a lot of signs of autism. Jacob will be 3 on March 1st and he still isn't talking. While I haven't gotten a diagnosis yet, we've seen therapist and specialists so the ball is rolling. He has an appointment at the Marcus Center for Autism here in Atlanta in April. It's a while from now, but it's something. 

It's so frustrating not knowing what to do and how to react to Jacob. So many people who doesn't have any experience with autism have so many opinions and so much advice... It's aggravating. I'll admit, I didn't know anything about autism (other than what I'd heard) until I was forced to do research because it's my son that's affected by it. Jacob's speech therapist suggested I come back to CafeMom and find groups here in Atlanta which I'm opened to.... Any advice from you ladies is certainly welcomed... I'll be spending a lot more time on CafeMom!!!

by on Jan. 9, 2014 at 11:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Jan. 9, 2014 at 11:45 AM
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I told my daughter's speech therapist I had joined an online group of mom's with autistic children. He said sometimes the best advice is from moms who have been there, done that :)

Theses ladies have helped me a ton and I wish you a warm welcome! I know exactly what you mean with those who have no experience offering advice. My mom fought me saying there was nothing wrong with my daughter, then when she was diagnosed my mom read like a chapter out of an autism book and now she thinks she knows everything. Sigh. I know she means well but it hurts when she doesn't even realize how much harder she made it for me.

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Jan. 9, 2014 at 11:57 AM
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Welcome back to cafe mom and welcome to the group. I am going to agree with Brittaney about these moms being a lot of help. When other moms see our children have a meltdown they automatically assume "bad kid" when a mother of a child with autism see our children have a meltdown they automatically wonder if it's sensory related or if the child cannot let the parent know what is wrong. I have found myself to be much more sympathizing of moms who have children crying in stores. I am sometimes that mom and know that the dirty looks and comments aren't helping the situation. I wish you a speedy diagnosis one way or another. We are here for support and if you have questions just ask

FCBoujee
by Member on Jan. 9, 2014 at 12:09 PM

I'm going through the same thing with his father. He always says "there's nothing wrong with him" but he's less than two months away from 3 and doesn't say Mom, dad, cup, milk, juice or anything. Some words he started to say but no loger say them anymore. I'm glad to see so much advice on potty training because I was worried about how I'd manage to do that! Thank you both so much!

AspieAuntie
by Risa on Jan. 9, 2014 at 12:21 PM
Welcome! I've been raising my aspie nephew for the past 7 years and honestly I sometimes still feel like I'm so new to all of this! This group has been a wonderful resource for me and I'm sure these ladies will be the same for you :) Hugs!
TheJerseyGirl
by Michele on Jan. 9, 2014 at 12:36 PM
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 Hi! I'm glad you came back because this group is awesome! So many in here have non verbal or children learning to become more verbal. THERAPY, THERAPY, THERAPY! And PECS...Look that up! I hope they can be very helpful to Jacob!

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Jan. 9, 2014 at 1:59 PM

this is a good place to learn... it was my first place and its a great launching pad... i also found a local online forum that's been helpful in specifically recommending so and so therapist vs not this one.

Glad you are here!

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Jan. 9, 2014 at 2:01 PM

Also, check out the stickies in this group and this thread: http://www.cafemom.com/group/112775/forums/read/14785454/Reference_Tool_A_list_and_brief_description_of_about_every_type_of_therapy_out_there_for_autism

They've been very helpful to me. Also, know that there are a lot of public resources even if they are often hard to dig up. Good Luck mama!

emarin77
by Silver Member on Jan. 9, 2014 at 2:22 PM
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Welcome back.  I would just keep your focus on what the specialists say.  No need for opinions from others who do not have experience.

lady_katie
by Silver Member on Jan. 9, 2014 at 3:39 PM

Welcome back! 

It's true, everyone thinks they're an expert. I was diagnosed myself in 2012, and when it first dawned on me that I'm autistic, people thought that I was out of my mind. Same with my son. Even though I wrote out 5 whole pages of autism traits that he was exhibiting, most people would zero in on ONE of them and tell me how it "can be considered normal" and that their sisters friends coworkers brothers kid had the same issue and they "grew out of it". I even had someone point out the fact that they were ignoring their own kids developmental delay as some kind of "evidence" that I was overreacting. 

Now that we're both diagnosed, people have let up a lot. The worst comment that I've gotten since has been that they think the diagnosis is "too severe" (he's moderate). Eh, I can live with that opinion. 

Momof4AEMW
by Silver Member on Jan. 9, 2014 at 9:05 PM

Welcome to the group!!!  You're in the right place.  Total support, tons of information, and you don't need to leave you house or get out of your pjs to get it!!  What could be better.  

Also a great, easy to read, basic book I read when Autism was still new to us is "Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew" by Ellen Notbohm.   

As far as the unwanted, uneducated opinions....just find your own way to ignore and move on.  You'll be the expert soon enough!

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