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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Obsessed with marriage

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2014 at 9:30 PM
  • 20 Replies

My 9 yo son has been talking non stop about marriage lately. He is trying to decide who he is going to marry. Today it was my friend, who is very much married and has a family. I reminded Ashton that she was already married so then he told me he is going to marry his substitute teacher. Most of his choices are older but he did mention a few 3rd grade friends. It all started when dh and I went to a wedding a few months ago and we were talking about it with the kids since  was their cousin. Then, his OT got engaged and she was talking about that with me. Now it's all he talks about, well not all but he is talking about it a lot and asking a lot of questions..questions about men and woman. I told dh that it is time for us to start talking about the birds and the bees with him.. What do you think? Any suggestions on when and how we start talking about this sort of thing? 

by on Jan. 21, 2014 at 9:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
JTMOM422
by Brenda on Jan. 21, 2014 at 9:38 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it's a great time to start talking to him about the birds and the bees. I think it's cute that he is talking about marriage. Sorry. My dd does this and she is 5 She has told everyone that she is marrying her best friend. If you ask who her best friend is she says Jonathan ( her brother ) lol

Charizma77
by Carissa on Jan. 21, 2014 at 9:40 PM

Your daugher is so sweet, I bet her and my daughter would be friends. Although my daughter says she moving to France to be a clothing designer not sure if marriage is in her plans..lol. This totally came out of the blue for Ashton and he is really curious and starting to ask questions like will I sleep in bed with my wife and I know it's going to lead to other questions.. Guess we should get prepared but this is my first and I am clueless and especially since he has autism and repeats things...ugh!

Quoting JTMOM422:

I think it's a great time to start talking to him about the birds and the bees. I think it's cute that he is talking about marriage. Sorry. My dd does this and she is 5 She has told everyone that she is marrying her best friend. If you ask who her best friend is she says Jonathan ( her brother ) lol


Charizma77
by Carissa on Jan. 21, 2014 at 11:05 PM

Bump :)

wildchild.com
by Janine on Jan. 21, 2014 at 11:27 PM
1 mom liked this
Awe he sounds so sweet. If your son is able understand it then yes maybe it's time. It sounds like he's curious. My son is 8 &.every pretty girl he sees he wants to hug Lol.
mypbandj
by Jen on Jan. 21, 2014 at 11:42 PM
1 mom liked this
I personally believe that you should tell them the answers to their questions, on the same level that they asked. Sometimes parents fear the kids want a long detailed answer when a simple one would do.

My dh is more about telling them everything. I don't know why he does but it kind of makes me angry. He told ds everything when he was around 12 I think. And he didn't even include me in it! It traumatized him! He started a chapter in 6th grade science class on reproduction (just like flowers and dominate/recessive genes) and ds had to come home. He was like the opposite of hyper focused. He was hyper focused on not focusing on 'sex.'

We'd go to the pool and he'd walk around shielding his eyes from women's breasts (in a swim suit of course). He couldn't just look down, he had to hold out his hand and make a scene. Lol

Dh also had the idea to but kids books about the birds and bees and just leave them around the house. This I had no issue with. The kids could look at and read about whatever they wanted that way.

When my dd was 9 I took her to a mother daughter class at the hospital called Girl to Woman. With girls, I feel like they really need to know early in case they start their periods. My dd is like her dad. Very open and not easily embarrassed. While ds is more like me, reserved and private.
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Charizma77
by Carissa on Jan. 21, 2014 at 11:58 PM

We are answering his questions so far. I dont think he's ready to know everything and I'm pretty sure he will laugh once he does know because he tends to make things silly when he's not sure what to do with it. We are a pretty  open family and dont shy away from the tough questions. When I was pregnant with Jackson my older 2 were 7 and 5 and my 5 yo asked a lot of questions and Ashton was 7 and he would just laugh and be silly about it. Like he told me I had a rooster in my belly and then thought it was funny to tell others that too.. I am dreading talking to him about sex..blah. I think my dd will be much easier, she is so practical and calm about everything. 

Quoting mypbandj: I personally believe that you should tell them the answers to their questions, on the same level that they asked. Sometimes parents fear the kids want a long detailed answer when a simple one would do.

My dh is more about telling them everything. I don't know why he does but it kind of makes me angry. He told ds everything when he was around 12 I think. And he didn't even include me in it! It traumatized him! He started a chapter in 6th grade science class on reproduction (just like flowers and dominate/recessive genes) and ds had to come home. He was like the opposite of hyper focused. He was hyper focused on not focusing on 'sex.'

We'd go to the pool and he'd walk around shielding his eyes from women's breasts (in a swim suit of course). He couldn't just look down, he had to hold out his hand and make a scene. Lol

Dh also had the idea to but kids books about the birds and bees and just leave them around the house. This I had no issue with. The kids could look at and read about whatever they wanted that way.

When my dd was 9 I took her to a mother daughter class at the hospital called Girl to Woman. With girls, I feel like they really need to know early in case they start their periods. My dd is like her dad. Very open and not easily embarrassed. While ds is more like me, reserved and private.


Charizma77
by Carissa on Jan. 21, 2014 at 11:59 PM

H is very curious. But doesn't quite know what to do with it and gets silly about it. He also talks about what he is thinking out loud, makes it kind of embarrassing lol

Quoting wildchild.com: Awe he sounds so sweet. If your son is able understand it then yes maybe it's time. It sounds like he's curious. My son is 8 &.every pretty girl he sees he wants to hug Lol.


TheJerseyGirl
by Michele on Jan. 22, 2014 at 7:23 AM
2 moms liked this

 Oh no the birds and bees!!!!

I always say that whatever my kids needed to be misinformed about on sex, they learned on the school busblank stare

My oldest actually approached me and asked and it was HARD. I mean I skirted around the issue so much and he finally said EWWWWW!!!! You mean you did that with Daddy? OMG, worse conversation of my life!!! But he never asked again...lolol!!!

So I have no advice except maybe to find a book and search online for the most appropriate but honest way. Good luck!

Charizma77
by Carissa on Jan. 22, 2014 at 8:47 AM

Thanks! I'm hoping that giving him just a few basic answers will be enough and we won't even have to go there for awhile. Forgot about the school but..Ashton doesn't ride on this year but will soon..

Quoting TheJerseyGirl:

 Oh no the birds and bees!!!!

I always say that whatever my kids needed to be misinformed about on sex, they learned on the school busblank stare

My oldest actually approached me and asked and it was HARD. I mean I skirted around the issue so much and he finally said EWWWWW!!!! You mean you did that with Daddy? OMG, worse conversation of my life!!! But he never asked again...lolol!!!

So I have no advice except maybe to find a book and search online for the most appropriate but honest way. Good luck!


darbyakeep45
by Darby on Jan. 22, 2014 at 8:53 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh what a fun conversation to have!  Hugs mama!

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