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HE LEFT ME !!

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 2:06 AM
  • 5 Replies
My husband of 7 yrs left me with my kids.I had been very deppressed last year when Ivan was dx.We had many arguments and we fought alot because he didn't understand why I was deppressed.This year when things were getting better I'm very hurt and confused because he said he loved me.He is a wonderful father but I LOST HIM !!!! I LET HIM SLIP AWAY !! ;( all I needed was for him to understand me .I'm soo scared to do this alone I get physicaly sick when I'm deppressed.
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 2:06 AM
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LADYxGHOST
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 2:16 AM

My dh left after 12 years. But before that he was away for work most the time. I suffer from depression and a few other mental health issues and my ds has autisim. (We agreed never to let my ds know that his condition was one of the major issues beteen his father and I) His father never delt with his son's dx or mine. he kept thinking it was something that could be fixed if we wanted it to. He never had compasson for our son and openly admited he didn't like him. He hated spending time alone withhis son and his son knew his father disliked him. It caused so much strife. My condition worsened and I tried really hard the last year, but he left anyway.

I have to say the first year was a mixed year, with more bad days than good. But shortly after he left his favored child, his daughter stopped talking with him. She was upset and blamed him, but his ds texed him everyday and called him to say hi and sent him care packages 9or rather had me ship the ones he packed for his dad). It really opened his dad's eyes to who his son really was, beyond the dx.  Now they are closer and our daughter has gotten over her anger at her father and he and I are rebuilding our relationship (not romantic, but our friendship and our dual parenting of our children).  I would have to say it was the best thing for our family.  I am not saying that you situation will turn out like mine, but I do know that I was stronger than I thought and I am sure you are to. We do not know what tomarrow will bring so rather then worry about it today, get through today and focus on your mental health and being thier fro your child(ren). It will be difficult, but I can assure from experience it isn't as difficult or painful as living with and dealing with a person who does not support you and your condition.

mariat2
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 2:41 AM
Thank you kindly for your advice I thought I was the only one here.I know I have to be strong for my kids.I have to pick myself up somehow.I hope he realizes it soon.I pray he will.

Quoting LADYxGHOST:

My dh left after 12 years. But before that he was away for work most the time. I suffer from depression and a few other mental health issues and my ds has autisim. (We agreed never to let my ds know that his condition was one of the major issues beteen his father and I) His father never delt with his son's dx or mine. he kept thinking it was something that could be fixed if we wanted it to. He never had compasson for our son and openly admited he didn't like him. He hated spending time alone withhis son and his son knew his father disliked him. It caused so much strife. My condition worsened and I tried really hard the last year, but he left anyway.


I have to say the first year was a mixed year, with more bad days than good. But shortly after he left his favored child, his daughter stopped talking with him. She was upset and blamed him, but his ds texed him everyday and called him to say hi and sent him care packages 9or rather had me ship the ones he packed for his dad). It really opened his dad's eyes to who his son really was, beyond the dx.  Now they are closer and our daughter has gotten over her anger at her father and he and I are rebuilding our relationship (not romantic, but our friendship and our dual parenting of our children).  I would have to say it was the best thing for our family.  I am not saying that you situation will turn out like mine, but I do know that I was stronger than I thought and I am sure you are to. We do not know what tomarrow will bring so rather then worry about it today, get through today and focus on your mental health and being thier fro your child(ren). It will be difficult, but I can assure from experience it isn't as difficult or painful as living with and dealing with a person who does not support you and your condition.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Feb. 5, 2014 at 5:15 AM

Big hugs mama...I can't imagine what you're going through!

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Feb. 5, 2014 at 5:16 AM

Hugs!  I'm glad things are working out well for your family :)

Quoting LADYxGHOST:

My dh left after 12 years. But before that he was away for work most the time. I suffer from depression and a few other mental health issues and my ds has autisim. (We agreed never to let my ds know that his condition was one of the major issues beteen his father and I) His father never delt with his son's dx or mine. he kept thinking it was something that could be fixed if we wanted it to. He never had compasson for our son and openly admited he didn't like him. He hated spending time alone withhis son and his son knew his father disliked him. It caused so much strife. My condition worsened and I tried really hard the last year, but he left anyway.

I have to say the first year was a mixed year, with more bad days than good. But shortly after he left his favored child, his daughter stopped talking with him. She was upset and blamed him, but his ds texed him everyday and called him to say hi and sent him care packages 9or rather had me ship the ones he packed for his dad). It really opened his dad's eyes to who his son really was, beyond the dx.  Now they are closer and our daughter has gotten over her anger at her father and he and I are rebuilding our relationship (not romantic, but our friendship and our dual parenting of our children).  I would have to say it was the best thing for our family.  I am not saying that you situation will turn out like mine, but I do know that I was stronger than I thought and I am sure you are to. We do not know what tomarrow will bring so rather then worry about it today, get through today and focus on your mental health and being thier fro your child(ren). It will be difficult, but I can assure from experience it isn't as difficult or painful as living with and dealing with a person who does not support you and your condition.


LivinDeadGurl
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 11:51 AM
1 mom liked this

Don't blame yourself hon. He made the conscious effort to leave.

You can make it through this. Just take it one day at a time.

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