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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Worst thing I could have done

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2014 at 11:46 PM
  • 88 Replies
2 moms liked this

Good evening ladies,

i will be brief as possible.

I went shopping with a friend and my son today. The store we went to was very colorful and filled with toys and my son was so excited so he was being loud. I noticed a young girl and her mother keep giving us dirty looks. So the girl asks her mom "why is that kid doing that"? The mother responds with "because some parents don't control their kids ."

my blood boiled and I said excuse me, my son has autism and can not help controlling his excitement and being loud. This bitch turned to me and said " even those retards can learn to shut their mouths when in public"!!!!

My friend saw my face and immediately removed my son from view and the lady's daughter was I don't know how many aisles away. I'm so ashamed to say I slapped her so hard across her face and then as if that wasnt enough I punched her in the mouth!! Omg what did I do? I am pregnant for one and a grown woman with a child. Why could I not respond with words? Why did I allow someone to infuriate me to,the point of causing physical harm to another person? 

Im so ashamed of my actions and I think it's something that has been building up from all the rude looks I get and everybody turning their backs on me when I need them the most. For someone to not show compassion and understanding for my beautiful son just took me to a really bad place.

The store security stepped in and I was brought into a little room while they spoke to the woman I assaulted. To my surprise she didn't want to call the police or press charges. Perhaps through the slap and punch she realized what a real horrible person she was by saying that me. We were asked to pay for our things ASAP and please leave.

i feel so guilty for what I did and I almost wanted to apologize but her words kept repeating in my head and I felt that if she wasnt aware of autism maybe she will be a little more open minded and accepting next time she encounters a parent with a child on the spectrum. 

Ladies this is usually not me to just resort to violence so fast but it was as if I had no control. My husband is proud of me and I feel like shit!!! 

by on Feb. 8, 2014 at 11:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Feb. 8, 2014 at 11:57 PM
I'm not sure what to say. I will remember someone stood up for all us moms every time I get a dirty look for my daughters behavior. I'm sorry you were unable to control yourself ..... It shows how much you've had pent up inside you. But at least maybe now you've had some release and can not feel so bad inside. I'm glad the lady didn't press charges. She will probably always watch what she says now even if she doesn't change her viewpoint. Hugs mama. Now you know that you're carrying around a lot of negative emotions and need to find some sort of outlet for it.
Linda733
by on Feb. 9, 2014 at 12:42 AM

You know the thought of the stories I hear from all you ladies about how hard it is and they way some of you get treated like myself just flashed in my mind and to hear her say a disgusting comment just pushed me over the edge. I can't say I will ever be proud of my actions but for a moment I did feel better because I stuck up for my child.

I hope I slapped and punched her hard enough to rewire her thought process. The cruelty in her voice just broke me. I'm going to start using my gym downstairs and boxing more than usual. It's a great stress reliever for me...thank you..hugs 

Quoting ineedcoffeemom: I'm not sure what to say. I will remember someone stood up for all us moms every time I get a dirty look for my daughters behavior. I'm sorry you were unable to control yourself ..... It shows how much you've had pent up inside you. But at least maybe now you've had some release and can not feel so bad inside. I'm glad the lady didn't press charges. She will probably always watch what she says now even if she doesn't change her viewpoint. Hugs mama. Now you know that you're carrying around a lot of negative emotions and need to find some sort of outlet for it.


mustbeGRACE
by Member on Feb. 9, 2014 at 12:53 AM
1 mom liked this

You're lucky you're not in jail.

Completely unacceptable.

Linda733
by on Feb. 9, 2014 at 1:02 AM
4 moms liked this

Yeah well so were her ignorant cruel comments. Btw, we have bail money. Thanks for your comments and if you read my post I clearly said I'm not proud of what I did and feel awful. However, in my opinion some people deserve it. I was standing up for my son and my anger got the best of me but I don't feel it was the right thing to do. I have to ask, what would you do if something so cruel was said to you about your child?? 

Quoting mustbeGRACE:

You're lucky your not in jail.

Completely unacceptable.


aakeiser
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2014 at 4:56 AM
2 moms liked this
All I can say we all have times when we let our anger get the best of us and we do things or say things we shouldn't. That is human nature. Your pregnant on top of it and I know my emotions got the best of me. The lady was very rude. She had no right to be that way. I glad she didn't press charges.
You know I will not judge you. It sounds like you are beating yourself up enough.
Hugs!!!
TheJerseyGirl
by Michele on Feb. 9, 2014 at 7:03 AM
10 moms liked this

clappingWell I dont care how wrong someone may think it is but I'm applauding you and want to thank you for sticking up for all of our children.

You may be a grown woman with a child BUT SO IS SHE. What a disgusting person to say that in front of an autistic child and to the face of that child's mother. What is she teaching HER daughter? She's disgusting and everyone here should think about the fact that words can sting more than a slap. Her slap will go away but the words she used towards you will be with you forever. How would she have liked that if you had called her daughter the same or called her UGLY...which you should have...with a slap.

Could you have handled it a little better? Probably. But I know I would never allow another person to say such a thing towards Dillon and just stand there and take it. I's tell them to hurry and run because I'd give them about 10 seconds before I'd go after them.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Feb. 9, 2014 at 7:10 AM
6 moms liked this

I agree 100% with Michele.  Thank you for sticking up for our children, when they can't stick up for themselves.  You don't know how many times I've wanted to do the same thing but haven't.  Thanks for doing it for me.  We are all human and regret our actions at times.  No one is perfect.  

You're a great mom, and it just shows how big of a heart you have as you feel so guilty about sticking up for your child in the way you did.  You know what I think?  I think the woman didn't press charges because she was so surprised and in her heart she knew she deserved what she got after what she said.  I bet she won't make that mistake again.

SamMom912
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2014 at 8:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Hey, you know me.. You were pushed beyond you limit and reacted (like our children do) with a meltdown that involved hitting, slapping and the like.. Youre not any happier then our children are after theyve had their outbursts. Im so sorry.. I know you feel miserable. I know that was not the reaction you would have LIKED to have had. that being said, much like our kids, you need a "more adaptable way" to handle situations that push you to your limit. You need a "practicted sentance and a plan of action" for the next time youre pushed THAT far. Besides, its your job to model calm, appropriate reactions for your son.. Or how else will he learn that our emotions dont need to get the best of us? 

Im so sorry that episode happened. I think you just need to move forward. I dont think you should be proud either.. I think you had a temper tantrum.. LOL.. And they arent pretty.

No DONT get me wrong, I GET why you did that., (I also get why our kids dont like to share, have difficulty with unmet expectations and try to control sitauations with their rigidity) and I probably would have LOVED a front row seat to watching you hand that woman her ass! Intolerance and insults are NOT a grown up way to handle that situation either. Im guessing your prego hormones coupled with momma protection went into overdrive. But, in an effort to keep you out of jail, as well as you have NO idea how crazy that woman is... Retaliation... Let come up with a better plan of action the next time someone shows intolerance and ignorance to our childrens needs,. Lets let them look like the crazy bitches they are.. And not push us to our point of no return... Eh? LOL

Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Feb. 9, 2014 at 8:29 AM
1 mom liked this
Thanks! I am sorry to say but she probably deserved it. I am not one to use violence either, but I don't know if I would have been able to stand there with such a horrible comment. I think that she didn't press charges because she knew that what she said was awful. Maybe next time she will think before she says something like that again.

Your son is lucky to have you to protect him. What kind of mother would make comments like that to their child about another person? She was really out of line. I hope you can get over it and don't let it eat at you. It wasn't the best situation and response but everything worked out and you taught a nasty woman a lesson.
johnns
by Johnna on Feb. 9, 2014 at 8:40 AM
Hey, I'm surprised as hell you did such a thing! But your one punch has liberated a lot of us! Way to go! That broad might think twice saying that crap again.
That whole story made my morning!


I'm sure your not feeling good about your actions- but let it go! Guilt sucks. We've got a lot on our plates. Please forgive yourself and move on!

*you got 3 gold stars from me!
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