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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Good evening ladies,

i will be brief as possible.

I went shopping with a friend and my son today. The store we went to was very colorful and filled with toys and my son was so excited so he was being loud. I noticed a young girl and her mother keep giving us dirty looks. So the girl asks her mom "why is that kid doing that"? The mother responds with "because some parents don't control their kids ."

my blood boiled and I said excuse me, my son has autism and can not help controlling his excitement and being loud. This bitch turned to me and said " even those retards can learn to shut their mouths when in public"!!!!

My friend saw my face and immediately removed my son from view and the lady's daughter was I don't know how many aisles away. I'm so ashamed to say I slapped her so hard across her face and then as if that wasnt enough I punched her in the mouth!! Omg what did I do? I am pregnant for one and a grown woman with a child. Why could I not respond with words? Why did I allow someone to infuriate me to,the point of causing physical harm to another person? 

Im so ashamed of my actions and I think it's something that has been building up from all the rude looks I get and everybody turning their backs on me when I need them the most. For someone to not show compassion and understanding for my beautiful son just took me to a really bad place.

The store security stepped in and I was brought into a little room while they spoke to the woman I assaulted. To my surprise she didn't want to call the police or press charges. Perhaps through the slap and punch she realized what a real horrible person she was by saying that me. We were asked to pay for our things ASAP and please leave.

i feel so guilty for what I did and I almost wanted to apologize but her words kept repeating in my head and I felt that if she wasnt aware of autism maybe she will be a little more open minded and accepting next time she encounters a parent with a child on the spectrum. 

Ladies this is usually not me to just resort to violence so fast but it was as if I had no control. My husband is proud of me and I feel like shit!!! 

by on Feb. 8, 2014 at 11:46 PM
Replies (11-20):
terri-553
by Terri on Feb. 9, 2014 at 9:09 AM

Whoa,Momma sometimes people are just mean,I have alot of problems w/people,like that,

mypbandj
by Jen on Feb. 9, 2014 at 9:26 AM
3 moms liked this
Wow! I mean, everyone says that they'd flip out or punch someone for rude comments like that but you actually did!!! Don't get me wrong, I don't condone violence but that was awesome!!!! I really really really would have loved to have seen that.

I cannot believe that woman. I cannot believe she felt she could just say such awful and disgusting things without consequence. I bet she didn't think you'd flip out on her. Boy was she wrong!! lmao (not that you should ever do that again because dealing with courts and lawyers is the last thing you need on your plate right now).

I really hope that woman thinks twice about mouthing off, especially to a mother about her child.
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Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2014 at 9:30 AM

Is it wrong this was the first post I opened this morning, and it gave me a giggle...

Ok, I won't say that was a good reaction as of course violence is never the answer.  Autism is still new to you and raw on your heart.  You will learn to use your words or to just ignore and walk away.  And eventually you will probably get to where you are immune to those comments if you hear them enough as YOU know the truth and can tell ignorance when you see it.  I'm glad you did not get in more trouble, you were lucky.  But I get why you had the urge to do it.

At the same time, I kinda want to give you a high five as you probably DID the one thing we'd all love to do in that situation.  It was like the bitch slap heard around the world for all autism moms for all the comments ever said about our kids.  Hang in there Mama.  I'm sorry she upset you enough that your impulses resulted in what you are feeling now, but this too you gotta let go and figure out a better alternative for next time.  Hugs! 

jowen905
by Jan on Feb. 9, 2014 at 10:34 AM
1 mom liked this

 I concur!  Take some time to think about it, make a plan for what you could say and how to respond if the situation with a dipshit like that ever happens again.  (Call attention to her, "Excuse me everyone, this woman appears to be an autism expert" turn to her and say "please share with the class how you referred to my child, what was it that you called him?").

Meanwhile, high five.

Quoting Momof4AEMW:

Is it wrong this was the first post I opened this morning, and it gave me a giggle...

Ok, I won't say that was a good reaction as of course violence is never the answer.  Autism is still new to you and raw on your heart.  You will learn to use your words or to just ignore and walk away.  And eventually you will probably get to where you are immune to those comments if you hear them enough as YOU know the truth and can tell ignorance when you see it.  I'm glad you did not get in more trouble, you were lucky.  But I get why you had the urge to do it.

At the same time, I kinda want to give you a high five as you probably DID the one thing we'd all love to do in that situation.  It was like the bitch slap heard around the world for all autism moms for all the comments ever said about our kids.  Hang in there Mama.  I'm sorry she upset you enough that your impulses resulted in what you are feeling now, but this too you gotta let go and figure out a better alternative for next time.  Hugs! 

 

Linda733
by on Feb. 9, 2014 at 12:43 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you. I appreciate you not judging..hugs

Quoting aakeiser: All I can say we all have times when we let our anger get the best of us and we do things or say things we shouldn't. That is human nature. Your pregnant on top of it and I know my emotions got the best of me. The lady was very rude. She had no right to be that way. I glad she didn't press charges.
You know I will not judge you. It sounds like you are beating yourself up enough.
Hugs!!!


Linda733
by on Feb. 9, 2014 at 1:07 PM

Thank you so much for that. I needed to hear that. I know I can't go around assaulting everybody who gives me a look or says something out of my earshot but to say that right to my face, standing 3 ft from me!!  I don't think I've ever had anger like that just erupt. I'm so glad my friend immediately walked away because she knew what was coming and I never want my son to see his mother behave so poorly. I am very good with words but nothing other than hitting her came to mind. You are right because I keep hearing her horrible words play over in my mind and it makes me cry. I've never experienced anything like that in my life and I pray it never happens again. I'm sorry to say it but I can't guarantee I won't react the same way depending on the situation. 

I saw her as we were leaving holding tissue to her bleeding mouth and for a split second I wanted to walk up and apologize but then I realized she should be the one walking up to me apologizing to me and my son. He's just a baby. How can people be so cruel? My husband says she got what she deserved and I can't say part of me doesn't agree whole heartedly. Thank you for not judging me. We jersey girls don't take crap huh? Lol 

Quoting TheJerseyGirl:

clappingWell I dont care how wrong someone may think it is but I'm applauding you and want to thank you for sticking up for all of our children.

You may be a grown woman with a child BUT SO IS SHE. What a disgusting person to say that in front of an autistic child and to the face of that child's mother. What is she teaching HER daughter? She's disgusting and everyone here should think about the fact that words can sting more than a slap. Her slap will go away but the words she used towards you will be with you forever. How would she have liked that if you had called her daughter the same or called her UGLY...which you should have...with a slap.

Could you have handled it a little better? Probably. But I know I would never allow another person to say such a thing towards Dillon and just stand there and take it. I's tell them to hurry and run because I'd give them about 10 seconds before I'd go after them.


Linda733
by on Feb. 9, 2014 at 1:25 PM

Thank you so much Darby. You're welcome :) I think that's exactly why she didn't press charges. She wouldn't even look at me as we walked by and just hung her head. In my opinion she was hanging her head out of shame. I can only hope my actions will save another mother and child from experiencing her disgusting behavior. I'm sure she will think twice next time. I'm not excusing my behavior in any way and I'm far from proud of myself but I look at my son and realize I did it for him and whether he heard it or not, I did. 

The one thing that is really bothering me is how she's going to explain what happened to her to her child? I didn't hit her in front of her child or mine but I busted her mouth pretty good. I know violence is never the answer. As I had said I had a moment where I was going to apologize but then I thought by me apologizing says "what you said about my son is ok and I was wrong" and yes maybe my reaction was wrong but she was totally out of line. 

Quoting darbyakeep45:

I agree 100% with Michele.  Thank you for sticking up for our children, when they can't stick up for themselves.  You don't know how many times I've wanted to do the same thing but haven't.  Thanks for doing it for me.  We are all human and regret our actions at times.  No one is perfect.  

You're a great mom, and it just shows how big of a heart you have as you feel so guilty about sticking up for your child in the way you did.  You know what I think?  I think the woman didn't press charges because she was so surprised and in her heart she knew she deserved what she got after what she said.  I bet she won't make that mistake again.


lucasmadre
by Kari on Feb. 9, 2014 at 1:34 PM

First of all the reason she didn't want the police called is because she probably has a warrant out for her arrest, not because she is being nice. Anyone who would say something like that is surely in trouble with more than you. Second...good for you. Seriously, she had it coming, she deserved it and best of all you didn't have to go to court for it...come on, it was meant to be. Of course I am not saying go around smacking people but maybe, just maybe she saw the hurt in your eyes. Maybe just maybe she will think twice before she bullies someone because she thinks she can get away with it. You smacked her for all of us....don't feel bad for a minute more and that is an order!!! I only wish I could have seen it. Give yourself a break :)

Senile-felines
by Member on Feb. 9, 2014 at 1:42 PM
I'm proud of you. The word retard should not come out of any human beings mouth. Thanks for helping spread the word about autism...even if a bitch slap was involved!
Linda733
by on Feb. 9, 2014 at 1:46 PM

I'm over here beating myself up and then I read your post and can't help but to laugh lol thank you! I really needed that. Well I'm sure the store has the surveillance footage for you lmao!!! Oh thank you for the laugh. I've been feeling awful all night and day. I do know I was wrong resorting to violence but I was just so enraged. I don't understand how other mothers could be so cruel. We are all mothers and grown women and I always thought mothers of all people would understand and be the first ones to show compassion. Boy was I wrong! You're right though condoning violence is not right and I definitely do not need any legal problems because I had no self restraint. 

I can only hope she learned a lesson from this. I know I did. My husband is so proud of me and trying to give me high five. He doesn't think I should feel bad at all. Once again, thank you so much for the laugh! 

Quoting mypbandj: Wow! I mean, everyone says that they'd flip out or punch someone for rude comments like that but you actually did!!! Don't get me wrong, I don't condone violence but that was awesome!!!! I really really really would have loved to have seen that.

I cannot believe that woman. I cannot believe she felt she could just say such awful and disgusting things without consequence. I bet she didn't think you'd flip out on her. Boy was she wrong!! lmao (not that you should ever do that again because dealing with courts and lawyers is the last thing you need on your plate right now).

I really hope that woman thinks twice about mouthing off, especially to a mother about her child.


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