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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Should I tell the Neighbors

Posted by on Feb. 16, 2014 at 11:36 PM
  • 18 Replies

 Hi everyone,

 

As mentioned in one of my posts,  my husband and I was given our grandson by our daughter who could not handled him any longer.  We have lived in our neighborhood for 10 years and are known as the couple with no kids but lots of toys.  We now have our grandson who loves to visit the other kids in the neighborhood.  Small cul da sac so he can run free with no problems.  Should I tell the neighborhood adults about his autism in detail?  A couple of times he has come home and said things like the kids don't like me or they say I am boring.  I don't want him to be bullied but I don't want the kids to tease him if the parents talk to them about his autism.


by on Feb. 16, 2014 at 11:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
darbyakeep45
by Darby on Feb. 17, 2014 at 5:14 AM

Welcome!  If you want to, you could mention it to the parents...just let them know your grandson has Autism.  How old is he?

2Busy4Choas
by on Feb. 17, 2014 at 11:26 AM

Ive wondered the same thing but our is more in part due to her meltdowns she has .... I dont want anyone thinking we are abusing her with her screaming and banging on the walls... 

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Feb. 17, 2014 at 11:33 AM

I would not bring it up. I would let him feel like a normal kid and if a situation were to come up that you feel the need to talk to your neighbors I would then.

Melissavh
by Member on Feb. 17, 2014 at 11:36 AM
1 mom liked this
My child wanders everyone knows, we also have the Aba therapists come and going 6 days a week. I think it depends on how functioning the child is.
Hottubgodess
by Jackie on Feb. 17, 2014 at 11:49 AM

I inform every parent that my son has HFA/Aspergers. He is 10, and his sensory is difficult.  

The more we can educate our neighbors, the better. Thats how I feel.  Maybe their kids can "model" for him  - teach him how to be a good friend.  :)  

TheLadyAmalthea
by Bronze Member on Feb. 17, 2014 at 12:21 PM

Our neighbors know about our son, it's kind of hard not to! It's so obvious. The reason why we told him is that he has ran on us before. That way, if they see him outside and don't see one of us, they will keep him from running away. All of our neighbors are older, most of them retired, so they're always outside doing their hobbies. There are no kids that live anywhere near us, most of them are teenagers, so that part isn't a problem for us.

TheLadyAmalthea
by Bronze Member on Feb. 17, 2014 at 12:23 PM

Ha! I does get pretty obvious when there are always cars coming and going from your home all the time! I also have an ABA therapist that comes 2-3 times a week. The rest of his sessions are at the therapy center.

Quoting Melissavh: My child wanders everyone knows, we also have the Aba therapists come and going 6 days a week. I think it depends on how functioning the child is.


MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Feb. 17, 2014 at 3:31 PM
I would tell the neighbors. does he know that he has asd? I might have a convo with him and teach him how to explain it to his friends.
I find this to be tricky and hard.
emarin77
by Silver Member on Feb. 17, 2014 at 5:54 PM

 

Quoting darbyakeep45:

Welcome!  If you want to, you could mention it to the parents...just let them know your grandson has Autism.  How old is he?

 

kajira
by Emma on Feb. 17, 2014 at 6:10 PM

I would probably sit down and explain what ASD is first to your grandson and explain why people are reacting to him like they are.

Knowledge is power, being able to understand his own behaviors and why people look or treat him funny goes a long way for giving him tools to slow down, observe and try to adjust himself as he goes....

Second, I would probably talk to the parents of the children who he'd be playing with, explain that he is autistic, and how it manifests, and how important it is that he gets good socializatio with other kids his own age and just ask for them to tell their kids to be patient and understand that his social development is not his physical age and he's closer to a younger child... they may tolerate him better if they think of him as being younger, and autism makes us develop and mature slower usually socially/emotionally....

I would also explain anything that behaviorally might come up, meltdowns, sensory issues, and offer to talk to them if they have any questions about anything and that if the kids have any, they can ask you too and you'll try to help answer them.

I'm an autistic adult, anyone who gets to know me beyond a basic conversation that's in my life for more then me dropping off a check, or putting groceries in my car for me, I end up explaining i'm autistic too. I flap, I stim, I don't make eye contact, and I act really quirky and odd to people, even if I come off as being pretty normal initially. The longer your around me, the easier it is to see those quirks... and I just tell them i'm autistic and if they have any questions, I'll answer it.. and leave it at that.

Some people ask more questions, like if they catch me flapping, or stimming might ask which part of autism it is, why i'm doing it, and are geniunely curious or fascinated by it as a concept - and some get inpatient and frustrated, and those are the ones I know to avoid.

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