I want your opinion UPDATE UPDATE
My son has some anxiety around me leaving him. After much trial and error last semester I figured out that if I stayed for a few minutes (in the corner) and didn't sneak out (I never have, never will), but told him I was leaving, he did much better with the transition. Simply dropping and leaving did not work. I tried it. A lot.
And after a seven week break, we're starting from square one again. He cried all last week. And the undergrads witnessed it all as they observed.
Well today dh came with me and he went straight to the observation room while I took ds in to his class. The students didn't know he was my dh and so they were talking about me. They said stuff about how I shouldn't be standing in the room, because he was fine. And that I should just sneak out and why was I telling him goodbye, it would only make him cry, etc.
First of all, he did NOT cry today. He told me goodbye and he had a great day.
But it really makes me angry about those students. I realize they think that they know everything now that they are in college but they do not! They aren't as smart as they think they are.
I want to email the director and tell her about it. I would have told her face to face today but 1) she wasn't around and 2) they students would have heard me.
So is email a good or bad idea? Or should I let it go?
I couldn't wait so I sent an email. Here it is.
Today while I was dropping Liam off my husband was in the observation room. He informed me that the students in there were talking to each other about how I was handing Liam's transition into the classroom all wrong. It was their opinion that I should not be staying in the classroom if Liam is not crying and that I should be sneaking out instead of telling him I am leaving because that is only going to make him cry.
It upsets me that they would be discussing my parenting abilities, especially in front of strangers (like Paul who they did not know was my husband). I was not aware that their assignment was to judge and talk about the parents.
The way I choose to interact with my child is based on child development research and respect for Liam's temperament. I will not sneak out on him, ever. Liam already has enough anxiety and tricking him is not going to build his confidence or trust.
Transitioning into school is hard for Liam, especially after such a long break. I feel like we were back at square one. But after much trial and error last semester, it seemed that the best strategy for Liam was for me to stay for a few minutes and encourage him to play rather than cling to me. And once he is ready, he let's me go. What I do with Liam is done consciously and intentionally. I do want to mention that today, he did not cry when I left!! He is making progress.
I would be happy to discuss this matter in person if you would like. I didn't feel like I could bring it up today at pick up because the students were still in the observation room.
THE DIRECTORS REPLY!!!!
Those students were way out of line. You are doing what I would do and you are right about all the research suggesting this, PLUS HE IS YOUR CHILD and YOU KNOW HIM BEST. Plus, he did well yesterday when I was there. I will make sure that the students are reprimanded. They are being unbelievably "stupid" and unprofessional. I may ban them from observing. I am very upset and will be going to their instructor. I cannot believe that they think it is appropriate to comment on a parent's actions. I am livid. So sorry, but glad you told me so that I can nip this in the bud.