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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

dear school (vent)

Posted by on Feb. 27, 2014 at 6:43 PM
  • 19 Replies

Dear School,

Im finding it very hard not to be mad at you. You frustrate me so. Each day I bring you my child, as he begs me not to. Each day I leave him with you and on days that are tolerable for him at the end of his 6 hous with you, he is done. He cant go to a park, or play with a freind. There is nothing left of him. He is a shell, and an unhappy one at that. It takes him an hour to recouperate from a "good day " (and I use that term loosley) and after that hour he can be human (not flexible,ot accomodating, but human) but on days like today.. when he was hurt in gym, and then got into an arguement with another student, and then didnt get a pretzel at lunch (on tuesday and thursday he likes to buy a pretzel at the caf, but since he has lunch at 1:30- LAST there are sometimes none left) and Im not sure what else happened, those were the highlights that he was most upset about... maybe it was eating alone for the 100th day at school, maybe it was the noise during indoor recess.. I dont know.. whatever the "difficulty" was for him today, I HATE that YOU get his best (and still he melts for you) 6 hours and I get left with a sad, shell.
Your school is too much for him. You dont make the necessary accomodations for him to FEEL successful... You dont support him enough for his self esteem to soar.
My child, my wonderful funny smart child HATES you... you know, MY child, the one who read 12 books about the American Revolution over winter break last week.. BY CHOICE..My child who learned about The shot heard around the world, the fight with King George III, The Declaration of Independance, JOhn Adams, Thomas Jefferson, the Boston Tea Party... BY CHOICE... MY child who LOVES to read, and learn... Who wanted to experiment about what floats in water and what doesnt and why.. MY child who was trying to figure out an algebra problem for FUN on his own in his playroom surrounded by toys... HATES YOU.
What on EARTH do you do to him each day that he HATES YOU? 

and I sit here tonight, he is angry, and short with me, he is tired and grumpy from his bad day. He is choosing not nice words and Im trying desperatly to "work" all the books and not feed his fire.... and Im mad...

Im mad at you school for doing this to him....
 

by on Feb. 27, 2014 at 6:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
K1tten
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2014 at 6:59 PM
1 mom liked this

 Damn, that just broke my heart reading that. I can see why you feel the way you do. *hugs*

ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Feb. 27, 2014 at 7:17 PM
1 mom liked this

Man ..... I wish I knew what to do. I wish I knew how to fight the school to get him what he needs ..... what he deserves! I'm so sorry .... I don't even know how to help. What would the perfect school look like for him? Can he tell you? I'd say have an IEP meeting with him there and have him tell THEM what he needs. If they can refuse accommodations to him in front of his face, then I don't think he will ever not hate them.

I'm praying he at least does ok tomorrow and you can have your wonderful little boy for the weekend.

Jenibob
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2014 at 7:21 PM
3 moms liked this

What a tough year you guys are having at school. It has not let up for you folks. Curse this winter, the snow days for upsetting our kids routines. It's one of those years when nothing goes right. Here's hoping the end of the school year gets here soon....let's go swimming. 

robmommom
by Member on Feb. 27, 2014 at 7:43 PM
1 mom liked this

Hugs, I know how you feel, its a constant fight with school, I don't want to send my GS ever again to school, what to do , what to do?crying mini

jennymoon4
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2014 at 8:09 PM
2 moms liked this
I get this. School is destroying my daughter. Compulsory education for 6 hours 5 days each week is too much for her. I feel like school takes away valuable time where she could actually be learning instead of deteriorating. Here's hoping we both find something better.
mabeetle
by on Feb. 27, 2014 at 8:20 PM
1 mom liked this

((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))

AspieAuntie
by on Feb. 27, 2014 at 8:21 PM
1 mom liked this

Ugh, this is heartbreaking and I can so relate. Bugga is having a really hard time in school right now too. He hates going in the morning and is almost always grumpy and surly when I pick him up in the afternoon. It isn't fair that our sweet, happy kids should be forced into an environment that makes them so miserable but I honestly don't know what the answer is. I hope you and Sam have a less stressful Friday!

wildchild.com
by Janine on Feb. 27, 2014 at 8:28 PM
1 mom liked this
So sorry mama hugs!
Maxsmommy123
by Jamie on Feb. 27, 2014 at 8:51 PM
Well.. I had responded to this about 4 times and every time I would hit the dumb refresh underneath the box and finally my temper got the better of me and I spiked my phone across the room. It still works!!! Wahoo!!!

I can't even remember what I was saying but I really hope next year is better for Sam. I have a feeling the rest if this year will be hard. How was he last year with school? Really sucks that he's so miserable.
Gloria1025
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2014 at 9:05 PM

Hugs for both of you!!!!  I am sorry that it is like this.  I hope you can figure out the right solution and then find it.  Our lawyer told us the easiest cases for him are the ones where the parents can tell him exactly what their child needs, it is available and then he almost always can go get it.  Unfortunately, many times what the child needs doesn't exist so it is a patchwork at best that hopefully the child can at least tolerate.  It  just sucks.......but I guess there is a reason there are so many laws about this and so many lawyers making a living doing just special ed law....The issue with the law is that damn word "appropriate"..... aka - bare minimum at best. 

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