• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Autism Spectrum vs Typical kids

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:30 PM
  • 11 Replies

I am a mother of two diagnosed and one not as of yet diagnosed boys on the autism spectrum. I've often wondered how you would compare raising special needs children versus typically developing ones?  I would love some insight from parents who are raising both types of kids.  How is it the same? How is it different?

by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:30 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
MistyMoo
by Bronze Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:37 PM
My son is autistic (he's from a previous relationship) and I have two daughters with my SO that aren't. I have more of a bond with my girls because they interact with me more and they seek affection from me. We tend to do more things with the girls (we go out and do stuff with the girls while my son is at his dads on weekends). My oldest daughter follows instructions the first time she's told.. Most times I just go through the motions with my son. There isn't a whole lot we can do with him because of his behavior, so he stays on his strict schedule and he never asks for hugs and tends to throw a fit when I approach him.. Raising him and my daughters is a very different experience.. I feel like because of his behavior, I can't enjoy him in the same way I can my daughters..
lady_katie
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:43 PM

I'm following this. I often wonder the same thing! 

SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:46 PM
2 moms liked this

i only have the one.. i raise him with resoect, always listening to his concerns, always treating him empathetically, understanding, calm as I can be, I dont think I would treat another child differently... i think I would stick to the same basic ingredients. Lol... But maybe i wouldnt... Since Ill always only have the one.. Ill never know. :) 

Gloria1025
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 3:09 PM

I have two sons, one NT (7 yrs old) and one with ASD (5 yrs old). The biggest difference for me has been communication challenges.  Since my son with ASD has a hard time communicating his needs etc. he has much more frustration and anxiety in his life than my other son who is easier to reassure and meet his needs because he can more effectively communicate them to us.  The other thing is the level of work we have to do advocating for my son with ASD and the assumptions people make that we have to overcome.  Other than that, there are much more similarities than differences in parenting for us, they are both wonderful little boys with their own unique personalities, strengths, challenges etc. 

lady-J-Rock
by Niki on Apr. 3, 2014 at 6:58 PM
1 mom liked this
I have three kids, 11 almost 12 year old daughter nt, 4 year old daughter nt, and a 2 year old boy ASD.
My kids each have their own challenges. My oldest daughter has bad anxiety caused by my mom.
My middle child is just very loud. Loves sports and dance and wants to do it all.
Xavier's biggest challenge is that he's almost as big as my four year but is developmentally 18 months. He is getting better at listening, he talks at people and not with people. No sense of danger at all. My oldest daughter is very cautious, middle child is a risk taker but doesn't take risk that would get her hurt. Xavier will climb into the stove, washer, dryer, up the book shelf.
I never believed that to be fair meant each child has the same things. To be fair is to meet the child's needs.
We do things with just our oldest, we do things with just the middle child and just the youngest. Sometimes we have a girl day. Sometimes we do an activity that is more suitable for the younger two. No two kids are the same. Everyone is unique and talented in their own way.
Momof4AEMW
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 7:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Hmmm.  Not sure how to answer this.  I have 3 SN kiddos (all 5.5 years old, but developmentally 18-24 mo, 2-3 years, and 4-5 years old), and a typical 11 year old.  And all 4 children are nothing alike!  The typical child developed in line with milestones, made appropriate social interactions and friendships, went out and participated in typical child activities, etc.  He didn't spend his childhood in therapy and 3 prekindergarten years of special needs preschool.  He had no medical complications like the others.  He didn't have challenges and struggles.  All 4 are happy, loving children and enjoying finding ways to play with each other on their own developmental level.  They all have blue eyes.  They all laugh and giggle.  This is all they are going to know, so they make the most of it.  There are obvious differences,  but I figure it's just their uniqueness.  Any 4 siblings typical or SN are going to be different.  But just different, not less.

Rosebud27aj
by Amanda on Apr. 3, 2014 at 10:36 PM

No clue here. Both of my kids are autistic.

Charizma77
by Carissa on Apr. 3, 2014 at 10:39 PM

It's different but some things are the same...I think every family dynamics is different. My oldest is 9 and a boy and on the spectrum. My middle child is 7, a girl and typical. They are very different in many ways but not always sure if its because one is special needs and the other is not or if its just a gender thing or different personalities... Our youngest is 2 and a boy and shows no signs of autism but is also very much his own person. All 3 of my kids are so different from each other but then in some ways the same. It's really hard to explain here, if we were talking in person I could go on and on and better yet if you knew my kids you would know exactly what I mean. But I wouldn't change any of them, they are their own unique little person and I just adore them.

Simran81
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 2:21 AM

My son was diagnosed by a Psychologist. We also were supposed to see a developmental ped the same day, but it never happened.She observed him for about 1 hour and spoke to us for another 2 hours. Our insurance covered the cost. It did not take long cause the school district had just evaluated my son and the dr used the same report. The school however did not label him, but the dr daignosed him.

Jenn8604
by on Apr. 5, 2014 at 2:23 AM
Same here :)

Quoting SamMom912:

i only have the one.. i raise him with resoect, always listening to his concerns, always treating him empathetically, understanding, calm as I can be, I dont think I would treat another child differently... i think I would stick to the same basic ingredients. Lol... But maybe i wouldnt... Since Ill always only have the one.. Ill never know. :) 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)