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I just had a question ETA

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 8:52 PM
  • 12 Replies
Is it possible to be so high functioning that you and no one else ever thought that you could be autistic or have aspergers?

I hope this question doesn't offend anyone. I'm wondering because my sils friend who works with autistic kids said this about my brother(he is 28)
I know nothing about this subject so please don't be mean :/ I'm just worried

ETA
Thanks ladies so much! You have been a real help. You have eased my mind and opened up new options for me to talk to my sil about. I don't know if we will ever say anything to my brother. I will definitely suggest a walk not only to maybe help my brother but my brothers best friend's son has autism also. He is very low functioning (not that it matters where he is on the spectrum). I also want to do all I can to help our friends child too.
You ladies are great!
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 8:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:01 PM

There are a few moms on here who didn't know they were on the spectrum until their child got dxed .... so yes, it's very possible. I'm not but when looking at all the possible diagnoses for my daughter, I figured out I probably have sensory processing disorder. High functioning individuals were never detected years back .... they were just seen as slow in certain areas ( I was always socially delayed ) or different .... "quirky"

kajira
by Emma on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:02 PM

Im an autistic adult and while the specialists and those who've lived with me can see it, the average joe can't.  At least not if they aren't looking for it, and my symptoms were far more extremely obvious as a kid, the older I got, and the more I could control what environments and social situations I went into, the better I got at hiding it too.

cupcake_mom
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:13 PM
Thanks. We don't even want to say anything to my brother because we are afraid of how he will take it. Only me my sil and her friend have talked about it. Sometimes, well actually most of the time he will throw a complete tantrum of He is upset, like hitting things and flaling his arms and screaming and crying like a child. This is just one example. He doesn't accept change to well. I'm not even sure if these are "symptoms" of anything.

Quoting ineedcoffeemom:

There are a few moms on here who didn't know they were on the spectrum until their child got dxed .... so yes, it's very possible. I'm not but when looking at all the possible diagnoses for my daughter, I figured out I probably have sensory processing disorder. High functioning individuals were never detected years back .... they were just seen as slow in certain areas ( I was always socially delayed ) or different .... "quirky"

cupcake_mom
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:14 PM
Thanks.

Quoting kajira:

Im an autistic adult and while the specialists and those who've lived with me can see it, the average joe can't.  At least not if they aren't looking for it, and my symptoms were far more extremely obvious as a kid, the older I got, and the more I could control what environments and social situations I went into, the better I got at hiding it too.

Momof4AEMW
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:22 PM

Not offended...I don't know the answer.  I will say autism looked different when your now 28 year old brother was younger than it would today.  Diagnosis expectations/requirements would be different. 

I guess I would say if he is 28, and that high functioning that he is getting through his life just fine - happy, healthy, has in life what he wants/needs , can provide for himself, then I would ask...does it matter?

cupcake_mom
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:27 PM
He works 2 jobs and lives with his wife and has lived on his own. He can manage his life and money and all that. It would just be nice to know to help deal with his out bursts. But it honestly doesn't matter.
No one ever even thought to have him tested when he was a kid not even when he went to therapy for anger management. Your right it was A LOT different back then, there wasn't nearly as much info then as their is now. I Just needed to hear some thoughts from mom's who have experience in this. Thanks so much :)


Quoting Momof4AEMW:

Not offended...I don't know the answer.  I will say autism looked different when your now 28 year old brother was younger than it would today.  Diagnosis expectations/requirements would be different. 


I guess I would say if he is 28, and that high functioning that he is getting through his life just fine - happy, healthy, has in life what he wants/needs , can provide for himself, then I would ask...does it matter?

Momof4AEMW
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:31 PM

That makes sense then.  Didn't see the out bursts in the orig post.  Could even just be an defient disorder or anger issue, maybe could get help for that at this point in life.  Sounds like he is pretty functional (great), but I see your concern. 

Quoting cupcake_mom: He works 2 jobs and lives with his wife and has lived on his own. He can manage his life and money and all that. It would just be nice to know to help deal with his out bursts. But it honestly doesn't matter. No one ever even thought to have him tested when he was a kid not even when he went to therapy for anger management. Your right it was A LOT different back then, there wasn't nearly as much info then as their is now. I Just needed to hear some thoughts from mom's who have experience in this. Thanks so much :)
Quoting Momof4AEMW:

Not offended...I don't know the answer.  I will say autism looked different when your now 28 year old brother was younger than it would today.  Diagnosis expectations/requirements would be different. 

I guess I would say if he is 28, and that high functioning that he is getting through his life just fine - happy, healthy, has in life what he wants/needs , can provide for himself, then I would ask...does it matter?

 

cupcake_mom
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:35 PM
The out burst part was in a comment lol. He refuses to go to therapy we have mentioned it before and he gets upset and says he doesn't need it because he isn't crazy :/

Quoting Momof4AEMW:

That makes sense then.  Didn't see the out bursts in the orig post.  Could even just be an defient disorder or anger issue, maybe could get help for that at this point in life.  Sounds like he is pretty functional (great), but I see your concern. 


Quoting cupcake_mom: He works 2 jobs and lives with his wife and has lived on his own. He can manage his life and money and all that. It would just be nice to know to help deal with his out bursts. But it honestly doesn't matter. No one ever even thought to have him tested when he was a kid not even when he went to therapy for anger management. Your right it was A LOT different back then, there wasn't nearly as much info then as their is now. I Just needed to hear some thoughts from mom's who have experience in this. Thanks so much :)
Quoting Momof4AEMW:

Not offended...I don't know the answer.  I will say autism looked different when your now 28 year old brother was younger than it would today.  Diagnosis expectations/requirements would be different. 


I guess I would say if he is 28, and that high functioning that he is getting through his life just fine - happy, healthy, has in life what he wants/needs , can provide for himself, then I would ask...does it matter?


 

ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Apr. 4, 2014 at 12:27 AM

I'm sorry he deals with stress this was. It must be hard on your sil to see him have such a hard time coping with change and disappointment. Those are possible signs of being on the spectrum. My aunt was married to a man that had severe anger issues and controlling issues and she ended up leaving him over them. They had a son and he was dxed with aspergers as a teenager ..... and now looking back my aunt realizes that could have been her ex-husband's problem (he's not in their lives at all). 

I wish I could help you help him ..... but a person has to decide for themselves they want help. I deal with this with my own husband. He's bottled up all his feelings about our daughter's dx and refuses to talk to anyone about it. Maybe ya'll could somehow go to a function that has autistic children and adults and maybe he could see a little bit of himself in them. Do a walk or something to support your sil's friend and the autistic community and an added benefit would be him being exposed to it. Maybe he'd be more open to the idea or it might show you that maybe his issues lie elsewhere.

Quoting cupcake_mom: Thanks. We don't even want to say anything to my brother because we are afraid of how he will take it. Only me my sil and her friend have talked about it. Sometimes, well actually most of the time he will throw a complete tantrum of He is upset, like hitting things and flaling his arms and screaming and crying like a child. This is just one example. He doesn't accept change to well. I'm not even sure if these are "symptoms" of anything.
Quoting ineedcoffeemom:

There are a few moms on here who didn't know they were on the spectrum until their child got dxed .... so yes, it's very possible. I'm not but when looking at all the possible diagnoses for my daughter, I figured out I probably have sensory processing disorder. High functioning individuals were never detected years back .... they were just seen as slow in certain areas ( I was always socially delayed ) or different .... "quirky"


SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Apr. 4, 2014 at 7:12 AM

This is interesting... 

My dad had dinner with a friend of my SM and her hubby. My dad got to talking about my son and his issues.. And the hubby started asking a bunch of questions of my dad... Explaoning he was JUST like my son when he was little.. And went on to say a few other things (went on a cruise, spent the week in his room) and some other Aspie type behaviors.. Chose a profession where he works alone, very successful, etc.. But went on to say that HE thought HE may have aspergers after having dinner with my dad... So YES, it think it is VERY possible to have such a HIgh function and just no idea about the disorder (at least not a clear idea- I think the press and media is only recently doing a justice to the disorder). 

Perhaps an on line test? Hugs... 

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