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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Woud you say something

Posted by on Apr. 5, 2014 at 9:46 AM
  • 33 Replies

Ok ladies I woke up at 3 this morning and was thinking about my nephew. I know there is something going on but not quite sure I would say ASD. My sister is very defensive when anyone says they think something is wrong with him. Should I approach her on this? How would you say something?Or should I let it go.  

by on Apr. 5, 2014 at 9:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 9:52 AM

I'm in the same boat with my niece.  I don't think she has ASD, but there is SOMETHING there.  The are very much go with the flow and have heard some questions from others and are choosing to not do anything.  She does well in school, at time makes friends (and offends others), they think she's fine.  We've bene in early intervention forever, and seen so much that it is obvious to me there is something more in her.  But I'm not her parent.  I can hint at things or support "maybe you should look into it" when they point out someone else said something about her.  But they feel she is fine, even ignore doctors input.  

Does your sister notice anything?  Or anyone else? 

SamMom912
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 10:00 AM

It is so hard.... Theres nothing up with my family, BUT, one of my friends sons has some issues and needs some help, and they dont acknowledge it., and It is hard, cause you hate to see the kids suffer. But it is SUPER hard to not offend them, or put them on the defensive. 

Whats the kids issue? Id wonder IF a kids book would kind of raise the flag... For example... IF your nephew had SPD, you could buy them "gabriel and his school tools" as a present.. Say you thought it would be helpful if "their kid" knew more about the SPD that Johnathan had... And maybe let them read the book to their kid and put those peices together themselves... 

Kind of leading them to the water... But letting them "drink".. 

Now NO joke, the friend I am NO longer friends with, When my house was under construction, we had PT at her house a few times.. The PT worked with Sam and her son... "Playing" with them both during therapy.. And after therapy told my friend she thought he son needed an eval for PT... My friend got the eval, and he was delayed, but not enough for services... BUT, maybe you could pull off something like that?? It was compltely unintentional.. (Btw, I still see this kid occassionally, and 4 years later, he has a weird gate and an odd run.. He needed PT

shell3m
by on Apr. 5, 2014 at 10:06 AM
That's tricky....When my friends son was acting different I didn't just come out and say something...but I did say..wow Dean just did this..or...Dean does this..and through time she noticed her son did all the same stuff and finally one day she came to me and asked if I thought her son had autism. ..I said yes and she got him tested and sure enough..
Now. ..With saying that my situation was easy because they were acting the same...for yours it would be a bit harder. I would find a way to bring it up on the sly but I'm not really sure how though...
dawncs
by Dawn on Apr. 5, 2014 at 12:10 PM

 If your nephew is her first child, she may not believe you. There are some parents out there who may think Autism is quirky, or he will grow out of it in time. She could be going by the advice of her pediatrician for her son that he is developing normally. You have to realize no matter how much education out there is on Autism that not every professional knows about it.

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Apr. 6, 2014 at 2:29 PM

 She notices a speech problem only. He does not do great in social situations. And can have a complete meltdown for an hour over being told he can't have or do something. She says it's just  because he is spoiled. I think their is more than that going on. He is 4 1/2 and only knows 1 color. He doesn't know any numbers or how to even count to 3. He doesn't even know the ABC song.

Quoting Momof4AEMW:

I'm in the same boat with my niece.  I don't think she has ASD, but there is SOMETHING there.  The are very much go with the flow and have heard some questions from others and are choosing to not do anything.  She does well in school, at time makes friends (and offends others), they think she's fine.  We've bene in early intervention forever, and seen so much that it is obvious to me there is something more in her.  But I'm not her parent.  I can hint at things or support "maybe you should look into it" when they point out someone else said something about her.  But they feel she is fine, even ignore doctors input.  

Does your sister notice anything?  Or anyone else? 

 

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Apr. 6, 2014 at 2:34 PM
1 mom liked this

 He is 4 1/2 and knows only the color orange. He can't even count to 3. Doesn't know even the ABC song. My sister has worked over and over with him but he just doesn't seem to understand. He has a major speech problem. My son's ABA was surprised to find out that he was overe 4 and not been seen for it. She says she can't understand a single word he says. I brought it up to my sister and she blames it on him having a pacifier for so long. He didn't start talking til after 2 1/2. She says all her kids had speech problems and it was taken care of in school. I guess i brought up the speech way too many times and she finally called the school for an eval. I just know there is something more than speech going on.

Quoting SamMom912:

It is so hard.... Theres nothing up with my family, BUT, one of my friends sons has some issues and needs some help, and they dont acknowledge it., and It is hard, cause you hate to see the kids suffer. But it is SUPER hard to not offend them, or put them on the defensive. 

Whats the kids issue? Id wonder IF a kids book would kind of raise the flag... For example... IF your nephew had SPD, you could buy them "gabriel and his school tools" as a present.. Say you thought it would be helpful if "their kid" knew more about the SPD that Johnathan had... And maybe let them read the book to their kid and put those peices together themselves... 

Kind of leading them to the water... But letting them "drink".. 

Now NO joke, the friend I am NO longer friends with, When my house was under construction, we had PT at her house a few times.. The PT worked with Sam and her son... "Playing" with them both during therapy.. And after therapy told my friend she thought he son needed an eval for PT... My friend got the eval, and he was delayed, but not enough for services... BUT, maybe you could pull off something like that?? It was compltely unintentional.. (Btw, I still see this kid occassionally, and 4 years later, he has a weird gate and an odd run.. He needed PT

 

Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 2:35 PM

Yikes.  Lot of red flags there.  I see your concern!! 

Quoting JTMOM422:

 She notices a speech problem only. He does not do great in social situations. And can have a complete meltdown for an hour over being told he can't have or do something. She says it's just  because he is spoiled. I think their is more than that going on. He is 4 1/2 and only knows 1 color. He doesn't know any numbers or how to even count to 3. He doesn't even know the ABC song.

Quoting Momof4AEMW:

I'm in the same boat with my niece.  I don't think she has ASD, but there is SOMETHING there.  The are very much go with the flow and have heard some questions from others and are choosing to not do anything.  She does well in school, at time makes friends (and offends others), they think she's fine.  We've bene in early intervention forever, and seen so much that it is obvious to me there is something more in her.  But I'm not her parent.  I can hint at things or support "maybe you should look into it" when they point out someone else said something about her.  But they feel she is fine, even ignore doctors input.  

Does your sister notice anything?  Or anyone else? 

 

 

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Apr. 6, 2014 at 2:36 PM

My sister has 6 kids so she "knows" more than I do. I remember when my oldest nephew was going through some stuff and she took him to the psychologist. The doc said depression and major OCD. She stopped seeing the doc. I just hate to see my nephew not get help when I know he needs more than just speech 

Quoting shell3m: That's tricky....When my friends son was acting different I didn't just come out and say something...but I did say..wow Dean just did this..or...Dean does this..and through time she noticed her son did all the same stuff and finally one day she came to me and asked if I thought her son had autism. ..I said yes and she got him tested and sure enough.. Now. ..With saying that my situation was easy because they were acting the same...for yours it would be a bit harder. I would find a way to bring it up on the sly but I'm not really sure how though...

 

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Apr. 6, 2014 at 2:39 PM

He is her 5th child. She has 6 total. Her pediatrician is a quack as far as I am concerned. My nephew is 4 1/2 and weighs 80 pounds. He is shorter than my 5 1/2 year old dd. I would think if the doctor was a good doctor she would be concerned just over his weight. She doesn't seem too concerned so she doesn't seem like the type that would be concerned over behavior either. 

Quoting dawncs:

 If your nephew is her first child, she may not believe you. There are some parents out there who may think Autism is quirky, or he will grow out of it in time. She could be going by the advice of her pediatrician for her son that he is developing normally. You have to realize no matter how much education out there is on Autism that not every professional knows about it.

 

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Apr. 6, 2014 at 2:41 PM

When I mentioned if she saw any problems with him she states speech only. That the rest is him being spoiled. Then she throws out there "he isn't autistic and autism is over diagnosed" I asked her where she thought we would be today if we didn't have him tested 2 years ago and she said "it's more obvious with him". I think she is thinking I am saying he is autistic. I am not saying that. I just think something more than speech issues is going on 

Quoting Momof4AEMW:

Yikes.  Lot of red flags there.  I see your concern!! 

Quoting JTMOM422:

 She notices a speech problem only. He does not do great in social situations. And can have a complete meltdown for an hour over being told he can't have or do something. She says it's just  because he is spoiled. I think their is more than that going on. He is 4 1/2 and only knows 1 color. He doesn't know any numbers or how to even count to 3. He doesn't even know the ABC song.

Quoting Momof4AEMW:

I'm in the same boat with my niece.  I don't think she has ASD, but there is SOMETHING there.  The are very much go with the flow and have heard some questions from others and are choosing to not do anything.  She does well in school, at time makes friends (and offends others), they think she's fine.  We've bene in early intervention forever, and seen so much that it is obvious to me there is something more in her.  But I'm not her parent.  I can hint at things or support "maybe you should look into it" when they point out someone else said something about her.  But they feel she is fine, even ignore doctors input.  

Does your sister notice anything?  Or anyone else? 

 

 

 

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