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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Having our fake FBA today : Update!

Posted by on Apr. 9, 2014 at 7:32 AM
  • 16 Replies

School had approved an FBA for my house to see why Sam has difficulty going to school and to see what help they can offer in getting him to school on time. The woman who works for the district cant be at my house before 9. School starts at 8:50.. So Im not sure what their idea was. Today Sam was asked to stay home by the school so he wouldnt have to be in the school play. He is not due at school until 10:30. So at 9:30 the woman is coming. 

Not exactly sure what info they are Hoping to get from this situation..

an extra 2 hours is perfect for Sam. 4 hour days not 6 are ideal... Lol.. So, Im guessing he will be 100 percent compliant. 

Sigh... Whatever... 

 

So she came in. Sam hung out ith us in the LR for a bit about 15 minutes chatting being fun relaxed SAm. She was amazed at the difference in Sam at school stimming, stiff.. to relaxed chatty Sam. After 15 minutes he asked to go play with the computer. I set the timer for 10 minutes and then he came back out.. we a little shy, but she asked a few questions and he was plesant enough.
At 10:15, she (and I) went to say good bye. (as her time was up) and she wished Sam a good day at school.. and he totally freaked out.. screaming how he isnt going... hid under the desk... we left him alone.. I got him a drink of water.. he ran to the LR.. and was screaming how he isnt going today.. NOt GOING! So she saw him freak.. and she left.

So I am not sure if Im happy about how it went- or what.. I mean.. Im thinking it was sort of perfect.. he was relaxed.. his anxiety rise around school and then he refused when the time came.

He is playing now- but saying having her here all morning (1 hour) totally stressed him out. I gave him a half hour to play and we are going to revisit getting ourselves together for school. I dont care if he goes or not.. Im so f'ing done.

The FBA lady told me the district wont pay for a school. She said its near impossible. I could spend 10,000 on legal fees to fight the district.. but to be honest, IF I lose that means Im out the 10K AND I still have to shell out 15+ (or more) a year on tuition for private. I just want to cry. I m done.

 

by on Apr. 9, 2014 at 7:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Apr. 9, 2014 at 7:44 AM
2 moms liked this

The woman can't come to your house until after the time your son usually goes to school ..... so the school purposefully picked a day that he wouldn't be coming until later (personally, I don't think keeping him home during the school play is the right thing to do ...... that's like the school completely dismissing him, saying they don't even want to have someone available for him while the play is going on since he won't be a part of it)

It sounds like the school is getting exactly what they wanted and they may have even been trying to plan it that way. Make you look like everything you say he does at home is an exageration and you shouldn't be having any problems getting Sam to school. I know looking at it from an outside perspective is different than actually having to deal with it (I don't like confrontation so it takes someone messing up alot for me to speak up) but it really really sounds like you need to be making some complaints ..... going above the school's principal, going to the district, making some demands ....... some of the thing you've said in the past year sounds like the school is doing everything they can to just get Sam through with as little work on their part as possible and everything you set up to prove they aren't doing enough, they find some way to make that one day be enough for him.

I'm fuming for you, I know you're shrugging it off because you've dealt with so much crap from the school this year but I wouldn't shrug it off. These people sound like they really don't have Sam's best interest in mind.

TheJerseyGirl
by Michele on Apr. 9, 2014 at 7:48 AM

 I always said that! If D could go to school less hours, I feel he's be so much more productive and alert! I just posted that school is wearing us down...and I think the loooong hours have smething to do with that.

Good luck today. Can't wait to hear how it goes!

jowen905
by Jan on Apr. 9, 2014 at 8:08 AM

 That's ridiculous - can't be at your house before 9:00??  And then is coming this morning when he's not due at school until 10:30??

I think you need to demand that she come on a "regular" day and be at your home at a time that actually makes sense, being that school starts at 8:50.

I'm really aggravated about that.

Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 8:23 AM

Oh, good luck.  Here's hoping Sam blows his top on them today so they can see what you deal with (not that I want Sam upset).  Let us know how it goes! 

SamMom912
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 3:19 PM

BUMP!

Gloria1025
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 3:27 PM
1 mom liked this

What state are you in?  It takes some digging and creative searching on the internet but I was able to find out how many children my school district places in private schools and which private schools are approved for public placement through my states dept. of ed. website :)  It might be helpful to verify her statement.

Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Apr. 9, 2014 at 3:48 PM
I would be livid about her not being able to come till after 9. That is awful. I'm glad that she saw the anxiety that came with mentioning him having to go to school. (Not that I want Sam upset) I hope you are able to figure something out. I know it has to break your heart to see him like that!
SamMom912
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 4:16 PM

I certainly wasnt ideal.. But i guess it worked out. She is a single mom with 2 autistic severely impaired tweens... Their bus picks them up at 8:40 for school. What are her other options? Dont get me wrong, the district should have never assigned her to do the job... BUT once she watched Sam in school, and did half the FBA my hands were kid of tied as to being stuck with her, She is nice enough, trying to be helpful. I think she feels terrible for us. 

Quoting Nickmom1118: I would be livid about her not being able to come till after 9. That is awful. I'm glad that she saw the anxiety that came with mentioning him having to go to school. (Not that I want Sam upset) I hope you are able to figure something out. I know it has to break your heart to see him like that!


Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Apr. 9, 2014 at 4:26 PM
I'm glad that she is trying to help. I don't think it's her fault but she shouldn't have been assigned at all if she couldn't be there before school. It does seem like it worked out though. Just because she saw how he reacted when mentioning that he had to go to school. Hugs!

Quoting SamMom912:

I certainly wasnt ideal.. But i guess it worked out. She is a single mom with 2 autistic severely impaired tweens... Their bus picks them up at 8:40 for school. What are her other options? Dont get me wrong, the district should have never assigned her to do the job... BUT once she watched Sam in school, and did half the FBA my hands were kid of tied as to being stuck with her, She is nice enough, trying to be helpful. I think she feels terrible for us. 

Quoting Nickmom1118: I would be livid about her not being able to come till after 9. That is awful. I'm glad that she saw the anxiety that came with mentioning him having to go to school. (Not that I want Sam upset) I hope you are able to figure something out. I know it has to break your heart to see him like that!

jowen905
by Jan on Apr. 9, 2014 at 6:24 PM
1 mom liked this

 Well at least she saw his negative reaction to school.  There should be no doubt in the school's mind that you're telling it like it is about how difficult it is for Sam in the morning.

I'm sorry you're feeling like crap.  Take a break tonight.  Don't think about the situation, give your mind a rest.  Hugs.

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