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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

is she stepping on my toes?

Posted by on Apr. 9, 2014 at 5:58 PM
  • 14 Replies
My son turned 4 last month and we haven't had a birthday party for him yet for the main reason we have all had strep. He has been so ill he actually got strep rash. All 5 members in my house have been sick so we have delayed his party. We was going to have it this weekend but because we have all been sick dh has missed work we refuse to use emergency money for his party so we decide to wait until next weekend. He doesn't realize its his birthday. Well today my mil ordered a cake and says we are going to have his party this weekend! I already explained to her that we haven't been well enough to get his presents and money was tight so we was going to wait another week because we didn't have the money. Her reply was I don't care he has went long enough and he was going to get a cake. My reply was well I care! She said she didn't ! Is this wrong of me not too let her buy the cake and have his party when she sees fit? He is non-verble and don't even know when his birthday is! PLEASE HELP in need your opinions!
by on Apr. 9, 2014 at 5:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 6:38 PM
2 moms liked this

Your kid, your choice.  As long as you and hubs are in agreement on when to celebrate his birthday, you should get to choose.  That being said, I don't see gma buying a cake that big of deal, you could always get another when you do his party.  Yet her belligerence to do the opposite of your wishes I have large problems with.  Sorry Mama! 

SamMom912
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 7:21 PM
1 mom liked this

Your kid. Your party. cake is fine with gma, but its not his party... his pary is when YOU say his party is.

wildchild.com
by Janine on Apr. 9, 2014 at 7:32 PM
1 mom liked this
Ummm ya she's definitely stepping on your toes! He's your son not hers!
darbyakeep45
by Darby on Apr. 10, 2014 at 5:46 AM
1 mom liked this

Yep, your kid your choice.  YOU make the call mama!  I totally agree with you!  

amonkeymom
by Amy on Apr. 10, 2014 at 2:53 PM
1 mom liked this

YES!  She is most definitely stepping on your toes and going way too far, IMO.  

Maxsmommy123
by Jamie on Apr. 10, 2014 at 3:16 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes she is stepping on your toes. My sons birthday is the day after Easter and my mother in law got all excited and told us she was going to order a cake and celebrate his birthday with the family. I said no thank you, I would like to wait until his birthday party when we are all present. She complied. You call those shots. You want it to be special, from his mom and dad not his bossy granny!
K1tten
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 4:25 PM
1 mom liked this

 She's stepping on toes. I agree with you. Your child means your choice not hers.

terri-553
by Terri on Apr. 11, 2014 at 9:11 AM
2 moms liked this

Being  a Grandma to 10 she has way over stepped,A grandparent is never to assume she is boss of anything,Granted we are having a small bday get togther for my granddaugther this week-end,but her Mom/Dad are divorced she lives elsewhere,But they had talked about it not me.I just ordered her cake as asked to.,She will be having a party back at her Mom;s later

mypbandj
by Jen on Apr. 11, 2014 at 9:31 AM
Well, I do think she's being a bit bossy. You could tell her, fine get a cake now but next weekend is his party. Since he won't know, letting him eat cake a week early won't mess him up. My kid would be upset and wonder where the presents were.
Do you need her to buy the party cake? If that was the plan, you could tell her that if she buys the cake early, they'll be no cake at the party.
If it doesn't matter, just let her give him a cake early and get a 2nd cake for the party.
I don't know if it's a battle I'd fight. Although it's kind of unreasonable of her to not want to wait just one more week. I agree that it's your kid, your choice. But in the end, maybe it's not worth the battle. I don't know. That's up to you.
For what it's worth, we always have cake on our actual birthdays in our house, even if we aren't having a party until another day. More often than not, the birthday falls on a weekday. So we have a smallish celebration with cake and the persons choice for dinner on the actual birthday. And then later, if we even have a party, have a more formal party.

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JTMOM422
by Brenda on Apr. 11, 2014 at 1:03 PM

You are his mom not her. She needs to respect the decision. Sorry she doesn't feel she needs to

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