ok, so for all who know me, i have a 4 year old with adhd, autism, odd and a list of things, and i have been fighting a custody battle with a nasty ex who wants to take me for 50% custody.
well, until it all goes to court after the family report and all, he got visitation. and that is where it starts to go bad, he refuses to do any of the things i suggest to take care of the child, introduces him to strangers in his house (big no no for brad, one of his biggest things) and refuses to follow any kind of routine, and wont tell me what is happening to prep brad in advance. as a result, each visit is ok, (the whole autism thing of behaving for a stranger until they get comfortable, and then acting normal, now he is doing the behaving thing, him and his dad were never close) and then at night when its bedtime he loses it, starts screaming, monsters (only when hes upset) and alternating between kicking and screaming, cuddling, not wanting me to touch him, then freaking out crying for me. and this happens most weeks, and was worse last week when his dad cancelled late and brad blamed me and wouldnt let me get close for 2 days!
i guess the whole thing is, with the dad not listening and not about to change, cause the ahole thinks his way is the best way (mind you he did nothing with this child at all over the last 4 years, wouldnt even sit through a therapy session, hasnt seen him in 9 months and has no idea what he needs or is really like when he is settled) is there anything i can do to help calm bradley, settle him, make it less stressful for him, because eventually the stress will go when he is there and not want to go, and then thats another fight on my hands. i need to be able to make him feel better, and i dont seem to be able to do that at the moment, and any ideas on how to reduce his stress would help. i have asked his dad to set up a routine or let me know what he is doing so i can prep brad, but have had no luck with that as of yet, so any ideas, cause routine is vital for this little boy.
any help on helping him calm down when he gets home and making it easier on him so he isnt hurting so bad, or hurting himself, would be great.
thanks for reading i know it was a long one. thanks for caring