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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Autism and not speaking (venting)

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 9:26 PM
  • 12 Replies

Sorry for the venting...

My 2 year old got diagnosed to PPD-NOS about 6 months ago.  He still isn't talking and he will be 3 in August.  I am trying my best to be strong, always talk to him.  He understands me, however doesn't talk back.  He still babbles.  I guess its fustrating because I feel like my close friends are looking/treating him different.  Yes, ok I understand he needs more attention however, he isn't an alien.  With him not talking yet its fustrating and I find myself get fustrated with him that he isn't talking.  I also feel like its my fault because I am doing things that aren't making him talk.  Like allowing him just to put his arms up to be picked up.  Or just climb in my lap without asking.  Every time I talk to him when he is doing those actions and say ...Up please...I haven't even heard him call me mama and it hurts.  Will I tell him that ... no...not at all. I love him to pieces and I understand that people might not understand.  My son has a hard shell to break.  You really need to get on his level and just play chase (his favorite) for a little while and he will warm right up to you.  Yes I am his go to person, but I am chalking that up to being a SAHM and will him almost 100% of the time.  I don't get out much, and he usually stays with my husband when I do errands (like grocery shopping)  My son is always on the go...so getting him to sit still is very difficult.  We have people around us that don't understand that so they don't understand that getting him to sit still in a restaurante is either a tablet or many different items to keep his attention.  He has a small attention spand.  So its just easier to eat at home.  Takes a lot of the stress out of eating out.  Or if we do fast food or something in a food court where he doesn't have to wait long for food...its easier. 

We have his elibility meeting with our school system next Thursday to figure out if he is elible for their services.  I sure hope he does...I really want the best of him and I can tell he is smart, he understands me and he is soo lovable.

by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 9:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Apr. 17, 2014 at 9:42 PM

Welcome to the group, and hugs!!!  His pic is adorable!!  I have a 5.5 year old that is completely non-verbal and another 5.5 year old that is very minimal in his speech.  I hope your school meeting goes well.  If he is not speaking, he should qualify for services. 

amonkeymom
by Amy on Apr. 17, 2014 at 10:09 PM
1 mom liked this

(((hug)))  

I'm sure he'll be eligible and I'm sure you're right about him being smart too.  Have you tried teaching him any sign language?  He might be more receptive to that than to spoken language for now.

N.Carter2001
by Bronze Member on Apr. 17, 2014 at 10:33 PM

Welcome A few months ago my son has just started talking more. He will be 6 years old in a few days.  Age 3 and 4 years old he would not talk. at 5 years old he started to open when he was in kindergarten. His teacher is the best. And he got a speech device. He learn it fast push button and it talks.  Looks like an ipad but it not.    At 1st 2 years in preschool they used a go talk. 1st year he did not like it. 2nd year he got the hang of it then they found out he has to much to say.

rainboz
by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 10:33 PM
First off never feel sorry for wanting to be heard. Don't stress over it to much relax a little. Your son is an individual don't compare him and if you think making him use words to get things is going to help then do that but don't get frustrated if it takes a while just keep encouraging and don't blame yourself its nobody fault its not a competition stay happy be hopeful. God Bless
happytobeRJsmom
by New Member on Apr. 17, 2014 at 10:44 PM
Quoting rainboz: First off never feel sorry for wanting to be heard. Don't stress over it to much relax a little. Your son is an individual don't compare him and if you think making him use words to get things is going to help then do that but don't get frustrated if it takes a while just keep encouraging and don't blame yourself its nobody fault its not a competition stay happy be hopeful. God Bless

I agree with this totally! RJ is 8 and non verbal but, he speaks to me with his eyes and his actions. I am just happy that he communicates with me and understands when I tell him I don't understand and he keeps at it until I get it
TheJerseyGirl
by Michele on Apr. 18, 2014 at 7:09 AM

 Vent away, girl! That's why we're here...and each one of us totally understands!

D is 13 now and I still have noone but my husband who "gets it". (which is why I'm always in this group, lol.

But remember, he is still so young. Things will come to him as time goes by. D wasn't the biggest talker at 3, either. He's come a long way and has not one language or communication issue at all. We used to avoid going out but honestly, that was more MY issue, than D. Today, we take him everywhere...in fact, he's the one who wants to go out! He loves restaurants, shopping, long rides, the beach, amusement parks, the mall, just time out and away with Dh and I.

Long story short, your son will be my son's age in no time. I promise you, things will get much better! (((HUGS)))

MrsT0425
by New Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 7:28 AM
Thanks for all your support! It means a lot.
darbyakeep45
by Darby on Apr. 18, 2014 at 7:32 AM

Welcome and big hugs mama!  We are here for you.  My 5.5 year old is completely nonverbal and he just started saying "mom" a few months ago.  He doesn't say it all the time though.  He isn't potty trained and he eats baby food but is fed through a feeding tube for the most of his nutrition.  He has the mentality of an 18 month old.

It's NOT your fault mama.  Totally not!

SamMom912
by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 7:40 AM

Welcome to the group! He is such a cutie!!! feel free to vent away.. We are all happy to listen. Some of us have been exactly where you are. my son was an early talker, but an SUPER late walker... Ugh, I had nightmares about him belly crawling across the HS stage to get his diploma. LOL... So I know the feeling of comparing, wondeirng why, wondering if I was doing something or not doing something... Babies half my sons age were walking.. and he wouldnt... Couldnt. It was so hard... He was such a fat baby too (36 lbs at a year) and people would say .. "If you made him walk, hed get some exercise and wouldnt be so fat!" My FIL actually suggested a diet... And then finially one day, it happened.. 

Rhapsitee
by Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 9:22 AM
Welcome! My son is 3.5 and non-verbal and acts much like your son. Very active, hard to sit still, easier to eat in then going out, gestures for things he wants, babbles, not potty trained, etc. During his eval for school eligibility the speech language pathologist and developmental therapist told me communication is not limited to just spoken words. One of the goals this year on his IEP was focusing on nonverbal communicative behavior to signal apparent intent. Because of the improvement he's made, I know next year, we'll work on word approximation. All that being said, I'm grateful for the progress he's made, but still wish there were words. A friend of mine once asked, "So, he's never called you mama, never said I love you, never gave you a hug?" I said no and she commented how sad. But...I see it in his eyes and he knows who I am even if he can't verbalize it. All that being said, hang in there. The ladies in this group are a lifesaver and provide amazing support and advice and let you know you're not alone on this journey.
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