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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Im a failure

Posted by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 1:38 PM
  • 30 Replies

I just called the psychiatrist for Sam. Im going to look into medication. I dont know why medicating him makes me feel like a failure.. but it does. I was just crying in my master bedroom closet so Sam wouldnt hear.
:(

by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 1:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Jenn8604
by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 1:39 PM
Some kids need medication. You're not a failure. You have realized he needs more help and you are getting it. Way to go!
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Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Apr. 18, 2014 at 1:55 PM
I know you have been weighing this decision for a long time. I don't think you are a failure at all! You have done everything possible to help him with his environment. I think medication is needed in some cases. It seems that you have tried everything else. You know what Sam needs and if medication is that, then you shouldn't feel like a failure.
Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 2:11 PM
1 mom liked this

Hugs Mama!!  You are not a failure!!  You are a great mom, and have tried everything else.  If you're at the point you need to try a med then that is just another therapy/treatment you're trying.  Talk to the psych about your concerns, and if you try the med and don't see a difference, then you stop them just like you would any other therapy that is not the right fit.  Even if he does start, it does not mean they are forever.  Lots of kids use meds in these younger years and then move off them as they age.  Just think how great you'll feel if they work, and you see Sam relaxing and loving the things that cause him/you so much stress now.  This just could be the next 'great' thing you're doing for him!  Hugs!!

charley31
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 2:12 PM
I get why you feel how you feel. But trust me you're not a failure. You're a good mom that isn't ignoring the situation. You're addressing it head on and you're the best mom. Hugs to you!
tictacmama
by Arlea on Apr. 18, 2014 at 2:22 PM

 You've done everything else you could, you're doing what you can for your kid. Don't beat yourself up. I know I will feel the same way if I ever have to go that route so I know where your coming from. But I also know if it is this hard to make this decision than it was not done lightly. Sam is getting medication cause he needs it. And like someone else said it might just be for a while till he gets older. Don't beat yourself up Mama. (hugs)

Gloria1025
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 2:39 PM

You are not a failure! - you are putting your personal feelings/beliefs aside and putting your son's needs first. 

I have a good friend with a son in his early 20's who is really struggling (he has battled drug addiction, has had some legal trouble, can't hold a steady job etc.) and one thing she said to me that hit home for me is that she wishes that medication would have been part of his life from childhood because to get him to stay on medication (and he does fantastic when he is medicated) now as an adult is a struggle and she feels if he had started younger and had adapted to it just being part of his life, it would be easier for him because he is really struggling with why he needs medication now.  She formerly thought that using medication was "failing" her child but now she has accepted that is what he needs and wishes she would have been more open to the idea when he was younger and maybe his life would have been a little easier along the way. 

I am not sure if this helps you at all but it did help me be more open minded that no matter what, I need to think about my child and his needs first and let go of any preconcieved ideas or ideals that I have.  I know you always put Sam first which is why you are looking into the option of medication.  It is not failing, it may be doing what your child needs. 

Macphee
by Silver Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 3:02 PM
1 mom liked this
Hugs!

There is nothing stronger than a mother's love and determination. Trust your instincts. It sounds as if meds were a last resort. If they help Sam function, great .
rainboz
by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 3:33 PM
Listen your not Failure this is some serious s--- The world better prepare themselves for the new generation of autistic children WoW! Modern medicine is perfectly fine your gonna have to put your trust in other things, people. God wants u to know you will never be able to this alone Thank goodness there so many people :-)
RTMJDNTARDIS
by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 3:39 PM

I know how you feel honey. *hugs* your not a failure! dont think you are! Its a long and hard decision to make. YOu have to do what is best for him! 

ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Apr. 18, 2014 at 4:10 PM
1 mom liked this

You are not a failure!!! Some brain disconnects can't be fixed by therapy alone. You have tried so hard to help Sam every other way. Sometimes meds can make something "click" and they don't have to be life long. My brother was on anti-anxiety medicine most of his child hood, but he learned coping skills and has been on his meds for 3 years now and is doing great. You have to throw those notions away, the "my kid has to be on medicine so I must be a bad parent" ....... that's the same misunderstanding as people thinking "kids with autism are just spoiled." Medicine doesn't have to be seen as something bad. I know you don't want this for Sam, you don't want him to have the need for medication .... but if he does and you're willing to get him that, then you're a great parent, not a failure.

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