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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Do you spank your ASD child?

Posted by on Apr. 24, 2014 at 12:17 PM
  • 70 Replies

I found this pin on Pinterest, it has a wooden spoon for the image and it was about disciplining special needs kids. It's honestly never occured to me to spank MY son, and I thought the spoon was a joke or something. I read the blog post and it's about this mother who spanks her non-verbal son with moderate-severe autism with a spoon.

When my son was diagnosed, the doctor that diagnosed him told us not to use physical discipline with him because these kids don't understand it and with their sensory issues you don't know how it can feel to them. Not that we needed to be told that, I've always been against spanking, even before I knew he wasn't NT.

Anyway, this is what I commented:

I was very disappointed to read this post I found on Pinterest and realize it was actually about spanking with a spoon. I read the title and assumed it was a joke because it would never occur to me to spank my special needs child. We were specifically told be our diagnosing therapist not to spank our child because children with autism don’t understand why it’s happening. If you’ve met one child with autism, you’ve met one child with autism. Maybe spanking worked for YOUR child without any negative consequences, but you shouldn’t be promoting it.

Ugh...I don't know, maybe I'm naive. I just can't imagine spanking my kid.

Do any of you know this blog: Above All Else Services? They're some sort of educational/consulting service, I guess. I just find it very disturbing that they're giving advice to other parents and people involved with special needs kids.


BTW: If you spank your autistic kid, I'm not meaning to offend. If it works for you, fine, but I just don't think people should go around recommending it.


by on Apr. 24, 2014 at 12:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SamMom912
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 12:21 PM
2 moms liked this
Never!!! I dont believe in punitive discipline. I dont ever believe it is ever ok to put my hands on another for any reason aside from love.
krnelson04
by Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 12:24 PM

That's what I think. I think it's wrong to spank, even if your child doesn't have autism. I don't get it, what's the point of a spanking, if it's not to cause pain? Why would you want to hurt your child? People say "it doesn't hurt", then why do they think it works? 

Quoting SamMom912: Never!!! I dont believe in punitive discipline. I dont ever believe it is ever ok to put my hands on another for any reason aside from love.


krnelson04
by Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 12:27 PM
1 mom liked this

May I ask how you discipline your child? And how old is he/she? The blogger asked me how I disciplined my son and I was sort of at a loss. I ended up saying "Redirecting, positive reinforcement and consitency between my husband and me". He's so young and not really at the level of a regular 3 1/2 year old, I don't really feel like he misbehaves on purpose.

Quoting SamMom912: Never!!! I dont believe in punitive discipline. I dont ever believe it is ever ok to put my hands on another for any reason aside from love.


Charizma77
by Carissa on Apr. 24, 2014 at 12:47 PM

We don't spank any of our kids. 

valleymomma1
by Bronze Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 12:51 PM

Never 

Jenn8604
by Jennifer on Apr. 24, 2014 at 1:08 PM
3 moms liked this
Yes I do. But not for every little thing
It's a last resort. And yes while he is severely autistic he gets it. He knows not to do stuff. He also will run off laughing, covering his butt if I ask him if he wants spanked for continuing to do something he knows he isn't supposed to do.
Our kids actually understand more than we or those who dxd them give them credit for.
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Gloria1025
by Bronze Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 1:27 PM
1 mom liked this

We don't spank.  My son responds to clear expectations and specific immediate consequences outlined ahead of time so he knows what to expect and it doesn't surprise him (loss of priviledge such as use of iPad etc.).  Unless he is aware ahead of time, he doesn't always immediately process "cause and effect". 

SandyLaxner
by Bronze Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 1:29 PM

I would never spank ANY child.  IMO anyone who does is hopelessly uneducated.

Rust.n.Gears
by Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 1:45 PM
1 mom liked this
Hell no !

First off I don't hit my kids with weapons. Here using a wooden spoon is assault with a weapon. You can only use your hand to spank.

But its not something they can control. This is them having a hard time. Not them giving me a hard time. To punish them for hurting is riduculous.
tictacmama
by Arlea on Apr. 24, 2014 at 1:57 PM
5 moms liked this

 I guess people will hate me because I spank. Not for everything and not as a first resort. But I use a handful of different disciplines for different instances. I think every child is different and and different punishments work better for different kids. If I took away pens and paper from Dominick he would be devastated but for Xavier it would have no effect.  With all discipline I explain the transgression along with the punishment. People can feel I'm uneducated if they like. I have weighed both options and have decided to keep spanking as an option.

I hope my parenting doesn't cause a rift between you ladies and I because I respect many of you and would be sadden to lose your friendship, but if it does I understand that it can't be helped, but I didn't feel I should lie about it.

 

* I don't spank with anything other than my hand though.

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