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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Ever get tired of fighting???

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 3:03 PM
  • 20 Replies
I know that Nicolas is still actually in EI. And that so many of you are fighting your districts so hard. But I am new to this and don't know where to go from here.

I just got an email from Nicolas teacher. She said she had a preK meeting this morning. That they all agree (not sure who all she means) that the drive to the co taught preK would be a very long ride for him. And that the typical preK doesn't have any transportation if it's not your home school. (Which it's not!)

So, the observation is still on hold till they figure out what options will be available to him. And they still don't know what type of supports would be available to him in the typical preK. That we actually have till the end of the school year to get everything in, so they have time to figure it out.

I sent an email back telling her that unless there is a significant amount of support for him at the typical preK, that I don't think he will be successful. And then told her that I don't think the very long bus ride will be good to go to the co taught preK. Because he is starting to whine and asking me why can't I pick him up from school. I also asked if he could just stay where he is at now as an option. Every time I ask that, she doesn't answer it.

I'm already tired of trying to figure out what we are going to do.
by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 3:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Apr. 25, 2014 at 4:40 PM

I do get tired of wondering what I should do for my child. There are so many options out there .... so many types of therapies and classroom settings and teaching styles....... the possibilities are endless and I used to exhaust myself trying to figure out which ones would be right for my daughter. That's why I'm so excited that I have followed through with something .... found a program and went through the process of getting into the program and making sure I would have a way to pay for it ...... and my daughter claimed one of the few spots for the summer semester.

Sadly, it sounds like you're having to choose between options where none of them really sound right for your son. I hope you get everyone on the same page and find something that works for him. Hugs.

Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 4:48 PM

First answer, do I ever get tired of fighting - YES!!!!  ALWAYS!!!  But, what am I going to do, I have 3 SN kiddos, and the district we live in is very behind is special ed!

For you...Ok, do you really want his current situation to be an option?  You have not been happy with it this year, so just checking.  Doesn't he have an IEP?  If so, why aren't the providing transportation to the typical prek?  And could he have an aide in that setting as a support for him? 

Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Apr. 25, 2014 at 5:42 PM
I hate fighting with people for his needs.

The bad this year was the private school. The public school was wonderful but no typical peer interaction. That's why we did the private school too.

It sounds like I don't have very good options for next year. And he does have an IEP. I wasn't sure if they had to give transportation to the typical preK just because e has an IEP. I think they look at it that he has to go to a special Ed program for transportation. The aide is the support that they were talking about. But are now saying they don't know if they have enough in the budget and it might just be a couple days a week. Still not sure. I don't know what we are going to do. Always hard!


Quoting Momof4AEMW:

First answer, do I ever get tired of fighting - YES!!!!  ALWAYS!!!  But, what am I going to do, I have 3 SN kiddos, and the district we live in is very behind is special ed!


For you...Ok, do you really want his current situation to be an option?  You have not been happy with it this year, so just checking.  Doesn't he have an IEP?  If so, why aren't the providing transportation to the typical prek?  And could he have an aide in that setting as a support for him? 

Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 7:07 PM

I would read his current IEP on what it states for transport.  I think if it is in there as door to door transport, it is their issue to figure it out regardless of the school....and the aide thing, budget is not a reason they can say no.  They need to explain why he does not qualify for one.  If that is the support/accommodation that would make Nick successful in that environment, then it is his right to have, but you may need to prove the necessity.  Although I am also guessing he does not have an aide in IEP now, right.  That could be trickier possibly.  Seems like the schools always want to fight the 1:1s.  I can't believe these are the only options.  I'd also maybe push back to the current school again asking why can't he just stay here.  He's 4, right?  Depending on the program, it may accept 4 and 5.  My kids are in their 2nd year of the 4 year program as i didn't send them to kdg this year, but they have to be out before 6.

Quoting Nickmom1118: I hate fighting with people for his needs. The bad this year was the private school. The public school was wonderful but no typical peer interaction. That's why we did the private school too. It sounds like I don't have very good options for next year. And he does have an IEP. I wasn't sure if they had to give transportation to the typical preK just because e has an IEP. I think they look at it that he has to go to a special Ed program for transportation. The aide is the support that they were talking about. But are now saying they don't know if they have enough in the budget and it might just be a couple days a week. Still not sure. I don't know what we are going to do. Always hard!
Quoting Momof4AEMW:

First answer, do I ever get tired of fighting - YES!!!!  ALWAYS!!!  But, what am I going to do, I have 3 SN kiddos, and the district we live in is very behind is special ed!

For you...Ok, do you really want his current situation to be an option?  You have not been happy with it this year, so just checking.  Doesn't he have an IEP?  If so, why aren't the providing transportation to the typical prek?  And could he have an aide in that setting as a support for him? 

 

SamMom912
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 7:46 PM

Well, I definetely think the typical peer interaction is a good thing for Nick.. And if an aide isnt available full time could that be ok, until it isnt? If he had 1:1  for 3 days a week, or 5 mornings, and had 5 after noons no support, is there a possibility he could be ok? If the afternoons dont go well I find districts are way more into fixing problems when it effects their staff.. So if Nick gives the teacher a hard time then they will solve the problem and get the aide in for the afternoon. :) 

Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Apr. 25, 2014 at 8:22 PM

I get what your saying. He will only go half day. So, I don't know what they are thinking of supports for him. I mentioned an aide, and the current teacher was talking maybe part time and for who ever needs the help. I don't think she wants Nicolas to get used to someone just for him. I would be fine with that, as long as there was someone there for him during reading/writing time. (I think that is where the problem is going to come in)


I also think the peer interaction is very important. I just don't know how they are going to get everything done. It really worries me that he isn't goign to be in an environment that he can't succeed in. I definantly would love the transportation for him because he loves it, and it might make it hard to go back to the bus for Kindergarten. But if they figure out everything else, the 10-15 min drive wouldn't be the worst thing that I have to do.

Quoting SamMom912:

Well, I definetely think the typical peer interaction is a good thing for Nick.. And if an aide isnt available full time could that be ok, until it isnt? If he had 1:1  for 3 days a week, or 5 mornings, and had 5 after noons no support, is there a possibility he could be ok? If the afternoons dont go well I find districts are way more into fixing problems when it effects their staff.. So if Nick gives the teacher a hard time then they will solve the problem and get the aide in for the afternoon. :) 


Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Apr. 25, 2014 at 8:37 PM

I was actually starting to think the same thing about the transportation. I will be waiting for their final decisions and looking further into what his IEP specifically says about transportation. I might also be asking the sped teacher how they can not give transportation if its in the IEP.


I do think he is eligible to stay in the program that he is in. But they are trying to push for him to go in a prek program. I think they want him to be somewhere that is a little more challenging. He has been slow to learn, but is making progress. I'm not really sure exactly what they thinking is right now.


They are trying to get an extra aide in the classroom for Nicolas. But not specifically for Nicolas. So, it would just be an extra aide to give Nicolas the support that he might need. But not for 1:1. I hope I am making sense. I told the teacher that he would need some help to be able to go to the regular class. I guess I am just waiting to see what they are doing. I hate this stuff. It's always something...

Quoting Momof4AEMW:

I would read his current IEP on what it states for transport.  I think if it is in there as door to door transport, it is their issue to figure it out regardless of the school....and the aide thing, budget is not a reason they can say no.  They need to explain why he does not qualify for one.  If that is the support/accommodation that would make Nick successful in that environment, then it is his right to have, but you may need to prove the necessity.  Although I am also guessing he does not have an aide in IEP now, right.  That could be trickier possibly.  Seems like the schools always want to fight the 1:1s.  I can't believe these are the only options.  I'd also maybe push back to the current school again asking why can't he just stay here.  He's 4, right?  Depending on the program, it may accept 4 and 5.  My kids are in their 2nd year of the 4 year program as i didn't send them to kdg this year, but they have to be out before 6.

Quoting Nickmom1118: I hate fighting with people for his needs. The bad this year was the private school. The public school was wonderful but no typical peer interaction. That's why we did the private school too. It sounds like I don't have very good options for next year. And he does have an IEP. I wasn't sure if they had to give transportation to the typical preK just because e has an IEP. I think they look at it that he has to go to a special Ed program for transportation. The aide is the support that they were talking about. But are now saying they don't know if they have enough in the budget and it might just be a couple days a week. Still not sure. I don't know what we are going to do. Always hard!
Quoting Momof4AEMW:

First answer, do I ever get tired of fighting - YES!!!!  ALWAYS!!!  But, what am I going to do, I have 3 SN kiddos, and the district we live in is very behind is special ed!

For you...Ok, do you really want his current situation to be an option?  You have not been happy with it this year, so just checking.  Doesn't he have an IEP?  If so, why aren't the providing transportation to the typical prek?  And could he have an aide in that setting as a support for him? 

 


TheJerseyGirl
by Michele on Apr. 25, 2014 at 8:39 PM

 The long ride is something I wouldn't want either. What is lacking in the school he's in now? Have you told them what you feel he needs to be successful there? Remember FAPE ...Free Appropriate Public Education! If they can;t offer him what he needs to be successful in that school, then Nicolas has the right to attend a school that WILL offer it! And it will cost them big time transportation wise to take him back and forth. You'd think they'd provide what he needs at his current school.

Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Apr. 25, 2014 at 9:22 PM

The school he is in now is a sped classroom. With 5 kids and 1 teacher, and 1 aide. So, I think they want to have him in a classroom that is more typical. With the peer interaction. That is why they are trying to push one of the other schools. The teacher has been with Nicolas since November, and she knows that he won't be successful in a classroom without "supports". I am not sure what he would need other than the things that he has now to be successful. The teacher would know more than me, because she is there with him all day. But I do know that he struggles with writing and things like that because of his fine motor delays. They still have to do hand over hand on several worksheets because of it. I can't imagine if he didn't have that, what that time of the day would be like. It would be a meltdown, or he would just totally refuse to do it.

Quoting TheJerseyGirl:

 The long ride is something I wouldn't want either. What is lacking in the school he's in now? Have you told them what you feel he needs to be successful there? Remember FAPE ...Free Appropriate Public Education! If they can;t offer him what he needs to be successful in that school, then Nicolas has the right to attend a school that WILL offer it! And it will cost them big time transportation wise to take him back and forth. You'd think they'd provide what he needs at his current school.


TheJerseyGirl
by Michele on Apr. 25, 2014 at 9:33 PM

 Did they agree at the meeting he needed support? As in his own aide ?

So to put him in mainstream he would have to go to the school that is farther away?

Quoting Nickmom1118:

The school he is in now is a sped classroom. With 5 kids and 1 teacher, and 1 aide. So, I think they want to have him in a classroom that is more typical. With the peer interaction. That is why they are trying to push one of the other schools. The teacher has been with Nicolas since November, and she knows that he won't be successful in a classroom without "supports". I am not sure what he would need other than the things that he has now to be successful. The teacher would know more than me, because she is there with him all day. But I do know that he struggles with writing and things like that because of his fine motor delays. They still have to do hand over hand on several worksheets because of it. I can't imagine if he didn't have that, what that time of the day would be like. It would be a meltdown, or he would just totally refuse to do it.

Quoting TheJerseyGirl:

 The long ride is something I wouldn't want either. What is lacking in the school he's in now? Have you told them what you feel he needs to be successful there? Remember FAPE ...Free Appropriate Public Education! If they can;t offer him what he needs to be successful in that school, then Nicolas has the right to attend a school that WILL offer it! And it will cost them big time transportation wise to take him back and forth. You'd think they'd provide what he needs at his current school.

 


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