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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Update-Meltdowns, bad days, and going places

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 4:43 PM
  • 7 Replies
Update:
I decided to go. Ds1 was doing a bit better after a nap. I thought change of scenery may help too. He did very well! He played great with the kids and stayed outside. He took his shoes off at obe point and left them who knows where but that was the worst that I saw! He did seek more solitary things to do or at least activities with fewer kids like blowing bubbles vs all on the trampoline. We did leave early since this part started at 7. I wanted his schedule to only be slightly off (30-40 min) instead of really off. So overall last night went well. We're paying for it a bit this morning but I don't think I'd change it. It was the break we both needed from each other and the house!



Op:Today is an overall bad day. Tonight we are supposed to meet up with another homeschool family. Mom is throwing a party (ya know the kind.. 31, tupperware, scentsy. Not those exactly.) and the kiddos are all going to play.

I think a new environment with new people after a day of constant meltdowns may be a bad idea. Leaving him home with dh isn't an option since dh won't be home.

What do you do on bad days when you've already told someone you'd meet up or have prior engagements?
by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 4:43 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 4:50 PM
1 mom liked this

I wouldn't be able to take my kids to a party like that on a good day, so if I didn't have another option for them, I wouldn't be going.  Good luck! 

ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Apr. 25, 2014 at 4:59 PM
1 mom liked this

If you feel your child is not capable of handling the situation, neither one of you will enjoy the evening at all. So, if you feel uncomfortable telling your mom you don't want to come because you're afraid of more meltdowns, then tell her he's sick. Dont know if you're comfortable with lieing, but if I were in that situation I wouldn't be afraid to tell my family, hey, my daughter is not up for this, we can't make it. If your family wouldn't understand that then I wouldn't feel bad about saying he's sick. 

Jenibob
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 5:35 PM
1 mom liked this

If it's someone that knows us I tell the truth, being proactive by not coming to avoid ruining it for others. 

If it's someone who doesn't "get" us I simply apologize with a SOrry we can't make it. Don't worry, life happens.

Ajisai43
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 7:02 PM
1 mom liked this

Or maybe you could just let your mom know that you have both had a long day and just aren't up for a night out.  No need to specify that your son can't handle it.  You would have a hard and probably not enjoyable time as would your son, so just avoid it.  A simple, "I am sorry, but we aren't up to it tonight" would work.  At any rate, you know your child what can he can and can't handle, and so you should do what works for you guys.  Good luck!

SamMom912
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 7:35 PM
1 mom liked this

Id be honest.. " we would have loved to come, but DS had a bad day.. And I just dont think he will pull it together for tonight, Im sorry. Im disappointed too." 

Its pretty typical of all moms to put their kids needs first, ASD or NT... She should understand, 

In any event, Im sorry that your guy isnt having a good day.. Those days are hard. :( 

strmrayne
by Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 10:29 PM
1 mom liked this

I just had to make a decision to come home early from vacation because my son was experiencing too much anxiety. I don't get to go home to visit very often, once every couple of years if I am lucky. We left Sunday with the intention of visiting until Saturday and then bringing my mother home with us to stay for a month. Tuesday evening my son looked at me and said he didn't think he could make it the whole week. I looked at his eyes and face and new immediately that making him stay would have been miserable for him. I had plans to meet up with friends every day that week, including having lunch with a friend as we drove back home and passed through her town. I hated to leave and not get to see my friends and family but I had to do what was best for my son. We left on Wednesday morning. As soon as he knew that we were going home, the signs of stress began to disappear from his body. 

This is a long way to say, your friends will understand. It is important to make the best choice for your child. You know what they can handle and what they can't. 

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Apr. 26, 2014 at 7:16 AM
1 mom liked this

Honestly, I cancel the plans if my son is having a hard time.  Not worth it in the long run!

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