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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

What if you and your autistic child are just alike?

Posted by on Apr. 29, 2014 at 2:09 PM
  • 15 Replies

I am new here and this is my 2nd post. My 4 year old son is newly diagnosed HFA. We are two of a kind. When he does behaviors in front of family (that are unaware we even suspected autism) they say wow he is just like mom... I remember you did that all the time as a child. When my mother babysits she says it's like having me as a child again. Anyone else feel the same? Am reading into this too much? No one says those things about my neurotypical child.

by on Apr. 29, 2014 at 2:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Apr. 29, 2014 at 2:19 PM

I think there are all sorts of things children do that are just like their parents, regardless of if they have autism or not.  I see some of myself and my husband in all our children in their actions, movements, phrases, etc.  I have 3 special needs kids, one typical.  And neither of us have autism. 

lady_katie
by Silver Member on Apr. 29, 2014 at 2:22 PM
1 mom liked this

Well, me and my autistic child are a lot a like, but I'm autistic as well, so no surprise there! 

Are you trying to say that you suspect you could be on the spectrum because you and him both exhibit similar autistic traits? I wasn't diagnosed until I was 28, and it's fairly common for adults to suddenly realize they're on the spectrum because it wasn't widely diagnosed when we were children. 

Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Apr. 29, 2014 at 2:36 PM
1 mom liked this
I do suspect that I could be in the spectrum. Researching and learning more made me realize that.
L0veMy2B0ys
by on Apr. 29, 2014 at 2:41 PM


Quoting lady_katie:

Well, me and my autistic child are a lot a like, but I'm autistic as well, so no surprise there! 

Are you trying to say that you suspect you could be on the spectrum because you and him both exhibit similar autistic traits? I wasn't diagnosed until I was 28, and it's fairly common for adults to suddenly realize they're on the spectrum because it wasn't widely diagnosed when we were children. 

I wonder but I don't see how it would matter now. It's just that all the signs we saw were also things I did/do. It makes me wonder if one of us could be misdiagnosed. Did it help you to have a diagnosis so late?

SamMom912
by Gold Member on Apr. 29, 2014 at 2:45 PM

Do you think they are trying to make you feel better claiming these behaviors that your ASD child are exhibiting is typical behavior? That would make me feel invalidated and angry, but im just confused about what your wondering? 

If youre asd? Or if your son isnt asd? Or could he be just like you in many ways and still be asd? 

lady_katie
by Silver Member on Apr. 29, 2014 at 2:54 PM
1 mom liked this

It's helped tremendously because I do have some limitations that I never quite understood before, and being diagnosed (or at least realizing that I'm on the spectrum) has given me some useful tools to help me work around those issues. I was getting by alright in life, but I feel like I'm functioning much better now, just having gained so much self awareness over the past couple of years. Not to mention, the peace of mind that comes with simply knowing that there's a reason for my being different then other people and knowing that there ARE actually people on this planet that I can really understand and relate to has been very comforting. 

Quoting L0veMy2B0ys:

Quoting lady_katie:

Well, me and my autistic child are a lot a like, but I'm autistic as well, so no surprise there! 

Are you trying to say that you suspect you could be on the spectrum because you and him both exhibit similar autistic traits? I wasn't diagnosed until I was 28, and it's fairly common for adults to suddenly realize they're on the spectrum because it wasn't widely diagnosed when we were children. 

I wonder but I don't see how it would matter now. It's just that all the signs we saw were also things I did/do. It makes me wonder if one of us could be misdiagnosed. Did it help you to have a diagnosis so late?


L0veMy2B0ys
by on Apr. 29, 2014 at 3:12 PM


Quoting SamMom912:

Do you think they are trying to make you feel better claiming these behaviors that your ASD child are exhibiting is typical behavior? That would make me feel invalidated and angry, but im just confused about what your wondering? 

If youre asd? Or if your son isnt asd? Or could he be just like you in many ways and still be asd? 

No, I don't think they are trying to downplay anything. Those family  members are not aware of the diagnosis or that it is even suspected. My mom is supportive and seems to think it would explain a lot about me. She brought her concerns to my doctor when I was little but they were dismissed. Wouldn't I know though?

SamMom912
by Gold Member on Apr. 29, 2014 at 4:17 PM

 what are the behaviors that he exhibits that she seems to think the two of you have?
I dont necessarily think you would know... I mean, if they dismissed your mom you were obviously pretty "typical" with a few quirks that you were able to modify to become socially acceptable.
Perhaps you were simply "borderline"... ? 

Quoting L0veMy2B0ys:

Quoting SamMom912:

Do you think they are trying to make you feel better claiming these behaviors that your ASD child are exhibiting is typical behavior? That would make me feel invalidated and angry, but im just confused about what your wondering? 

If youre asd? Or if your son isnt asd? Or could he be just like you in many ways and still be asd? 

No, I don't think they are trying to downplay anything. Those family  members are not aware of the diagnosis or that it is even suspected. My mom is supportive and seems to think it would explain a lot about me. She brought her concerns to my doctor when I was little but they were dismissed. Wouldn't I know though?

 

noel311
by on Apr. 29, 2014 at 4:51 PM

I've been told by my family members that too. And is scares me. That is impulsivness and his tantrums, power struggles, his lack of focus, all are what I was like as a child. I try to remember it from my point of view back then, and I can't see it as the same at all. I was dealing with the issues of parents that were passive at best, and didn't care. But I care, I am always trying to understand what my kids are feeling and thinking. I don't know about you all, but yeah, this resonates with me, and I am petrified by it.

Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Apr. 29, 2014 at 6:33 PM
I did tell my mom that I think that I might be aspergers. She just looked at me puzzled. I do not have many friends and it's hard for me to be in any social situations. Like, we went to out neices baby shower. They had the tables really close. I felt like I was going to go crazy. Thank god, Nicolas needed to walk. So, I was outside with him almost the whole hour we stayed. I felt off the rest of the night too!

I also get obsessed with certain subjects and want to learn about them. About 5 yrs ago it was woman's history, and now it's anything medical.

But now my mom says how I used to get stuck on a movie and had to watch it everyday before school. (I just found that movie and got it for Nick)

So, I guess it has never clicked until my son was diagnosed. But if I followed through with it, I think DH and mom would just think it was a bunch of crap. So why deal with the added stress.
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