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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

When do you tell them?

Posted by on May. 2, 2014 at 8:04 AM
  • 14 Replies

Just a question- maybe more of a call for advice. When do you tell your child that they are on the Autism Spectrum. We just found out at the end of January- and our son just turned 7. I feel funny talking about it around him and he doesn't know yet. But I am not even sure he'll understand at this age. Any suggestions, advice?

by on May. 2, 2014 at 8:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on May. 2, 2014 at 8:24 AM
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I have three SN kids with varying disabilities.  They are 5.5 so don't understand it all, but they have been told, and as they age will get more age appropriate explainations.  As we get a new diagnosis we tell them as it is just a part of them and they will grow to understand what it means for them in time.  There are some great books on the internet at kid level that can help explain things too.

jowen905
by Jan on May. 2, 2014 at 8:41 AM
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 I was going to suggest finding a book to help you explain.  And he may not understand, but I think it's important to start bringing it up and talking about it when they're younger, so he's familiar with the meaning of it and will be more comfortable when you have future conversations that are more indepth.  Just my opinion, hope this helps!

Bobcatridge
by Carol on May. 2, 2014 at 9:53 AM

We told my daughter when she was 11.  Her therapist did several sessions with her presenting it in a positive way.  My daughter was feeling very bad because she noticed she was so different from her peers.  We got the official diagnosis late - around age 10 although I knew when she was 7.

Macphee
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2014 at 12:14 PM
Waiting until he asks. He overhears conversations and knows that he sees a lot of doctors. Nt brother asked why his ASD brother was different at 3 years old.

Next year, ASD son is going in Gned full time at 7 yrs- 1st grade.He's been in self contained ASD unit since 3 with 1 hr a day in Gned since 6 yrs old. We'll see
Macphee
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2014 at 12:14 PM
1 mom liked this
Waiting until he asks. He overhears conversations and knows that he sees a lot of doctors. Nt brother asked why his ASD brother was different at 3 years old.

Next year, ASD son is going in Gned full time at 7 yrs- 1st grade.He's been in self contained ASD unit since 3 with 1 hr a day in Gned since 6 yrs old. We'll see
Rust.n.Gears
by Member on May. 2, 2014 at 12:21 PM
2 moms liked this
I never kept it from them. We talked about it just like sex and drugs. It was somehing we discussed openly and early. My folks did the same with me and my brother who has tourettes.
SamMom912
by Gold Member on May. 2, 2014 at 12:57 PM
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My son read the origami yoda series by Tom Angleberger about a boy who is on the spectrum who is mainstreamed and a bit quirky.. The author himself states on his website that HIS (the author) superpower is Aspergers... So it was at that time that I felt comfortable telling Sam that he had that superpower too. He has always known he has a "learning disability"... And that his brain learns a little different and that is why he needs teachers whoknow how to teach his brain, but he never really had a name for it. 

Ive always gravitated toward reading him books occassionally that have things he can associate with.. So Ive read him kids books about SPD, kids books about Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein (both with learning disabilities) as well as other famous people with learning disabilities. 

he is 7.5 and he was Dxd at 3.5. 

emarin77
by Silver Member on May. 3, 2014 at 6:38 PM
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I've told my son now at 5.  He is aware that he is different from others.  He puts himself down and me and his dad at times have to confirm with him he is a wonderful boy and that we love him.  We also give him tips when he has difficulties with others his age.

Treesmaroff
by Member on May. 3, 2014 at 10:03 PM
I asked him if he felt different from other kids. He said yes. I told him- being different is being great. And we talked about his gifts and all the cool things he can do. I think a positive self esteem is so critical. Thanks to all of you for your replies. This is so new us - the diagnosis of ASD. We know he is still the same beautiful wonderful child- and we are happy we have an answer. But the journey to getting him the right help and addressing this with him- and everyone - well, there's no clear answer for that. Thanks for your support - it makes me feel like I'm not alone.
TheJerseyGirl
by Michele on May. 4, 2014 at 6:15 AM
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 D is 13 now and I have never come out and said, "Oh, by the way..."

But we have talked extensively about autism and traits we see in people around us...him included. It's more of a "Isn't it amazing all the people we see with autistic traits?"

I don't have the heart to tell him in a straight and forward way. It just isn;t in me.

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