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Thinking about the past...Hoping for the future

Posted by on May. 4, 2014 at 1:53 PM
  • 6 Replies

It is Sunday morning.  My 13yr old daughter is sleeping and I am sitting on the couch thinking.  Some days when I pick up my daughter from school I see the other kids running out of school laughing and giggling together.  Then I see my daughter always alone and always near tears.  I wish she could enjoy the laughter but so far that has been impossible.  Last night my daughter showed me a photo on Instagram that one of her classmates had posted.  It showed 6 girls at the beach - all my daughter's classmates.  She is never invited to go downtown with any of the girls, never invited to any of the parties, never invited to go to the beach with them, or to just hang out.  She wants to go with them so badly but they don't want her along.  She eats lunch alone because no one wants to associate with her.  I feel so sorry for her.  She does have a few friends through 4H but it is still difficult even with the more tolerant 4H kids. 

Next year my daughter will no longer go to this school after 8 long years.  She is officially out of school for the rest of the year.  The new school is a hybrid school.  I will homeschool her for three days and she will go to school for 2 days.  Her therapist recommended this school - she says they are more open to unique and different children.  I am longing for friends for my daughter.In the mean time the therapist and I have some rather intensive social skills work planned with the poor unsuspecting 4H friends as the social interaction practice group. We live rurally so finding a real social skills therapy group for her has not worked out.  We tried the only one we could find for a year.  It was my then 11yr old daughter and a bunch of 15 yr old boys - didn't work out too well.  This summer I have scheduled her for a 2D animation course, a stop action video course, and a special autism camp.  She is also going to the mid-state fair and to the relatively local Renaissance fair.  So maybe she will be able to develop some needed social skills - anyway that is what we are trying for.  At least it will be a new beginning for her at the new school.

 

by on May. 4, 2014 at 1:53 PM
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Replies (1-6):
darbyakeep45
by Darby on May. 4, 2014 at 2:59 PM

Hugs mama...you have a great attitude!  Good luck to her and keep us posted:)

ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on May. 4, 2014 at 6:59 PM

Oh I'm so wishing you guys the absolute best!!! Going to a new school, a totally new environment will probably be sooo good for her. I had no friends when I was 12 and I was absolutely miserable. Everybody at school treated me like I was a parasite ....... some girls were so cruel they would whisper behind my back that I had bugs in my hair ( I didn't ..... I was just the over-weight, middle class kid in a rich kid school district). My mom didn't know what to do for me but knew she had to do something and so we moved far away. It was the best thing ever for me. If I had stayed in that district for too much longer I would have killed myself. I'm so happy you're doing this for your daughter. I hope she finds wonderful kids at her new school like I did. :)

lucasmadre
by Kari on May. 4, 2014 at 8:05 PM

If it makes you feel any better I had very few friends as a girl, I was painfully shy and had such a hard time fitting in. I think it was difficult but I also think it built character. I do hope that your daughter finds some new friends through this more tolerant school. You are doing everything you can for her, it is a hard age even when you are a typical kid...even harder for our sweeties!  Good luck to you both  xo

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on May. 4, 2014 at 9:59 PM
Agree! Hugs mama. Hang in there, it gets better.

Quoting lucasmadre:

If it makes you feel any better I had very few friends as a girl, I was painfully shy and had such a hard time fitting in. I think it was difficult but I also think it built character. I do hope that your daughter finds some new friends through this more tolerant school. You are doing everything you can for her, it is a hard age even when you are a typical kid...even harder for our sweeties!  Good luck to you both  xo

TheJerseyGirl
by on May. 5, 2014 at 5:38 AM

 I love how that school sounds! One that I am looking into meet once a week at school and also meet for many social opportunities. I think it will be great for your daughter!

NatashaEvesmom
by Member on May. 5, 2014 at 12:09 PM

I agree!  I say if you have just 1 real friend that is better than a ton of acquantiances.    

Quoting lucasmadre:

If it makes you feel any better I had very few friends as a girl, I was painfully shy and had such a hard time fitting in. I think it was difficult but I also think it built character. I do hope that your daughter finds some new friends through this more tolerant school. You are doing everything you can for her, it is a hard age even when you are a typical kid...even harder for our sweeties!  Good luck to you both  xo


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