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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

When other children make fun of your SN child...

Posted by on May. 10, 2014 at 9:09 PM
  • 41 Replies

How do you react?  Do you get upset?  Angry?  Defensive?  

by on May. 10, 2014 at 9:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on May. 10, 2014 at 9:22 PM

When my oldest has new friends over, there is a one strike you are out rule.  I give them one chance if they make an inappropriate comment to not repeat the offense if they want to be asked back.  If they do something rude again, they don't come back.  My kid's house is their safe place, and no one is going to treat them poorly in it.  We are very open with my oldest's friends on his siblings disabilities and what is and is not ok to say in our home.  The majority are great!

If it is a young child while out somewhere that is asking questions i realize they are just usually curious and answer honestly.  I'm all for spreading awareness.  If it is an older rude kid, then not so much.  I find in general the kids that question are just asking questions as they would anything, it's the rude adults and tweens I can't take!

Charizma77
by Carissa on May. 10, 2014 at 9:43 PM

I don't know how I would react. I hope with grace but that's easier said than done. It would also depend of it was a one time thing or an ongoing thing... 

lady-J-Rock
by Bronze Member on May. 10, 2014 at 10:07 PM
I haven't had any kids make fun of Xavier. I asked the parents of older kids at the support group we belong to and only one parent said her daughter was being bullied by a small group of girls that her daughter used to be friends with. But the mom said that it wasn't so much the ASD but the usual mean girls drama.
So I don't know how I would react.
MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on May. 10, 2014 at 10:52 PM
I try to teach DS how to react, since he's not aware. "I don't like those words! They are rude and inappropriate! I (or we) won't accept that!"

At which point, we might leave or if he is w/o me, he is to tell a caring adult.
mypbandj
by Jen on May. 11, 2014 at 12:13 AM
My oldest has been bullied. It really upsets me. And it just depends on the situation really on how I would react.
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wildchild.com
by Janine on May. 11, 2014 at 5:59 AM
I get defensive, I'm not mean but I will let that child know they are not being nice.
Jenniy
by Member on May. 11, 2014 at 6:04 AM
1 mom liked this
I take a deep breath, tell them what they did wrong, fight the urge to beat the shit out of them, if they apologize sincerely I let them stay in my house, if they're a rude little fuck, they don't come back. If we're out somewhere, I grit my teeth, tell my kids the other child is rude and doesn't know them and we walk away.
AnnaNonamus
by Bronze Member on May. 11, 2014 at 6:20 AM

I get defensive. Right now, we are in a good place. She's 12, and has gained several friends who stick up for her. The school has been good, too, and each year, they do a classroom talk about Autism, and how Gillian differs from her peers. This past fall, she was one of 3 Autistic kids in a joint classroom- 54 kids all together, and 2 teachers. Anyway, instead of the ASD teacher doing all the talking the three kids did a lot of talking, and answering questions. I was not able to attend, but I was told the reaction was just amazing. There were kids who had previously teased the 3 kids who were in tears over how they had treated them. The teachers and support staff were all in tears. Her ASD teacher said if they had thought to video tape it, the entire session would have been an amazing teaching tool. 

Anyway, all that said, the instances of teasing have been very low this year, compared to prior years.  I think a lot of it is because of the kids being a part of the presentation. Given that they are in 6th grade, a time when kids can be horrible and cruel, I think it's amazing. 

Now, next year is a whole new ball game. She will be in the Junior high, and switching classes all day, so she will be in with kids who don't know her, or her Autism. They also don't do a classroom awareness program like she has done every year from 3-6th grade. They do a school wide program in April, but that doesn't help much from Sept-Apr ;)

darbyakeep45
by Darby on May. 11, 2014 at 7:28 AM
1 mom liked this

I like your rule...especially since those are older kids.  Kids that are old enough to know better.  

Quoting Momof4AEMW:

When my oldest has new friends over, there is a one strike you are out rule.  I give them one chance if they make an inappropriate comment to not repeat the offense if they want to be asked back.  If they do something rude again, they don't come back.  My kid's house is their safe place, and no one is going to treat them poorly in it.  We are very open with my oldest's friends on his siblings disabilities and what is and is not ok to say in our home.  The majority are great!

If it is a young child while out somewhere that is asking questions i realize they are just usually curious and answer honestly.  I'm all for spreading awareness.  If it is an older rude kid, then not so much.  I find in general the kids that question are just asking questions as they would anything, it's the rude adults and tweens I can't take!


darbyakeep45
by Darby on May. 11, 2014 at 7:29 AM

Yeah, this post was prompted by something that happened yesterday...see my other post entitled, "Words can really hurt".  I totally agree with you:)

Quoting Charizma77:

I don't know how I would react. I hope with grace but that's easier said than done. It would also depend of it was a one time thing or an ongoing thing... 


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