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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Words can really hurt.

Posted by on May. 11, 2014 at 6:36 AM
  • 11 Replies

This is why we don't hang around people with neurotypical kids very often.  I know that young kids don't understand and it's not necessarily their fault, but the words still hurt.  

We were at a neighbor's house yesterday for a BBQ, and these 2 little girls made fun of Brady.  They were both 4 years old.  They started out asking questions about Brady...why does he chew on things (chewy tube)?  Why does he spin in circles?  Why does he squeal?  Why does he act like a baby?  Why does he drool?  I tried to explain that he's just different.  He enjoys different things than they do.  Well, that didn't really help anything.  He drooled in the bounce house, and the girls told my husband that he needed to clean up the drool.  Then later on, while the 2 girls were on the swings, Brady was waiting for a turn, and I told the girls they had a few more minutes before they needed to share with Brady.  They told me that the swings were only for big kids, not for babies that drool.  They said Brady wasn't allowed on their swings because he drooled and acted like a baby.  They were laughing.  

My heart was breaking more and more each second.  I just picked up Brady with tears in my eyes and walked away.  My husband saw me and we talked about it and one of the moms saw me too and asked what happened.  The mom was very sweet and apologetic, and she even cried as I told her what happened.  She went and talked to the girls about it and she brought one of them over to Brady to get her to apologize but the little girl refused to apologize.  I told her that was fine and it was ok.  That was about it.  

This is why we don't spend time with neurotypical kids of this age group.  3-6 years old is a tough age with this kind of stuff...getting the kids to understand that all kids are different and that's okay.  I get that they don't understand at times, but the words still hurt.  It's not worth it to me to risk my child getting made fun of just to have exposure to NT kids.  Brady doesn't care about other kids, as he lives in his own world with the mind of a 15 month old.  I'm the one who hears it and is hurt by it.  Totally not worth it to me.  

by on May. 11, 2014 at 6:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
darbyakeep45
by Darby on May. 11, 2014 at 6:37 AM
1 mom liked this

If you're old enough to know HOW to make fun of a child, then you're old enough to learn that's NOT okay to do.  That's how I look at it...right or wrong, that's how I felt last night.  

wildchild.com
by Janine on May. 11, 2014 at 6:52 AM
I agree Darby big hugs!!! I'm so sorry, kids can be so cruel. Hugs!!!!

Quoting darbyakeep45:

If you're old enough to know HOW to make fun of a child, then you're old enough to learn that's NOT okay to do.  That's how I look at it...right or wrong, that's how I felt last night.  

Charizma77
by Carissa on May. 11, 2014 at 8:14 AM

This is one of the many reasons I am glad my kids have been around special needs kids/people since they were young. my dd plays with kids that have autism, Down syndrome and other special needs and she considered them all her friends.  Ashton plays Miracle a league baseball and there are many kids with different disabilities that come together to be a team.. The families are wonderful an the siblings are the sweetest friendliest kids.  Our church is used to specials needs kids too but occasionally I will see a kid stare or roll their eyes at one of the special needs kids and I just feel sad for them, not sad for the special needs kids but sad for the kids that don't understand or show compassion... They are the ones missing out, in my opinion.  

Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on May. 11, 2014 at 9:08 AM

That is terrible.  Those little girls were being very bratty.  That is not ok.  Their parents should have stepped in and explained better that their behavior is not acceptable.  I'm sorry that happened, especially with friends kids.

lady_katie
by Silver Member on May. 11, 2014 at 9:34 AM
Oh my gosh, what a couple of brats! If my son EVER did that he would have endless education on why it was so wrong and hurtful! I'm sorry that happened to you :(
ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on May. 11, 2014 at 9:58 AM

Wow ..... I'm SO sorry Darby!!! Their behavior was absolutely ridiculous!!!! Not only did they treat Brady badly, but they were snotty right to you ...... YOU were being bullied as well as your son. I'm not a fan of corporal punishment but I swear, when things like this happen I really think one good smack to the behind would put some sense into those girls. For them to feel perfectly okay to say those things to you about your son, they have no respect whatsoever. I'm sorry this is your experience with NT children ...... there really are good ones out there, even in that age group. They are just getting hard to find. This world is learning its okay to be disrespectful ..... it hurts thinking of the future sometimes.

Hugs and hope you have a good mother's day!

Maxsmommy123
by Jamie on May. 11, 2014 at 3:00 PM
I agree. I'm sorry this happened :(

Quoting darbyakeep45:

If you're old enough to know HOW to make fun of a child, then you're old enough to learn that's NOT okay to do.  That's how I look at it...right or wrong, that's how I felt last night.  

shugerbit
by Member on May. 11, 2014 at 3:20 PM
We are at that age where the kids are really starting To notice that Landon is different then they are. Luckily my friends children have grown up with him and only ask a few questions like you said, why does he chew, why does he squeal and flap his arms, why won't he talk to me. I have a neighbors kid who calls him, " my friend who likes my door" lol. He has a full back yard of toys to play with yet Landon plays with their backdoor everytime, open/shut.
When I am outside this bubble I feel very vulnerable though, I like to just let him play when we go to the park but there always comes that awkward moment when I hover over should I throw it out there and say he has autism to the people starting, or should I try to explain it to the kids that are curious. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

N.Carter2001
by Bronze Member on May. 11, 2014 at 6:18 PM

Im sorry that happened

SamMom912
by Gold Member on May. 11, 2014 at 6:30 PM
Oh Darby, i am so sorry. I try to remember that kids make fun of things they don't understand.. Its fear based... And not that its ok.. But its def something to remember when it comes to children... Different is scary and they just dont know what to do. Those girls for sure handled it poorly--- and im sure their parents used this as a learning moment. Hopefully, in the future they will do better!
Im so so sorry .. And I am thankful that Brady wasnt hurt by it. Im so sorry you were.
You, your hubby and Brady are so amazing. I hate hearing that you've been treated bad.
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