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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

I'm 46, my son is 12, I have 5 kids, and I think I just need other moms like me to talk to.

Posted by on May. 12, 2014 at 12:40 PM
  • 9 Replies

All the mom's I know don't have children with Autism or on the spectrum.  The advice I get sometimes don't work for me or Eduardo.  I'm having a real hard time getting Eduardo to do anything out of school.  He won't do any sports. He don't like leaving the house much.  This past Saturday was the Autism Awareness walk and Eduardo did not have fun.  He didn't want to go and it kind of makes me and the family sad to know he does nothing all day everyday.  The guilt is hard to deal with. Don't tell me to find something that he's interested in and look into that...I've tried it all.  Eduardo is my youngest and he tells me that he has fun with his imagination.  He's never ever had any friends untill this year...So this will be his first birthday party ever.  There was never anyone to invite before.  We like to camp, go to the beach, fish, hike, all that stuff.  Eduardo says he don't like going and would rather stay home.  When he does go it looks like he's having a great time and a lot of family fun...Even family pool parties or B.B.Qs at aunts and uncle houses.  He say's he don't want to go. But he always ends up having fun...But if you ask him after if he had fun he will tell you no.  I don't know what to do.  He won't do anything after school at school.  He says school is from 7:55am to 2:45pm.  Anyone been in my shoe's before?  Please let me know if I should continue to try and find some things for Eduardo to do. Or am I hurting him by making him do 1/2 of the stuff that we want to do as a family.

by on May. 12, 2014 at 12:40 PM
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Replies (1-9):
amonkeymom
by Amy on May. 12, 2014 at 2:26 PM

Welcome to the group!

My 13 year old doesn't like to do sports either and would not enjoy the Autism walk.  Though he does enjoy being outside.

I think it's good to try to encourage Eduardo to continue to participate in family activities, within his range of interest and as long as he seems to enjoy them at the time.

JigsawMom
by on May. 12, 2014 at 2:36 PM

Thank you very much for your opinion.  It's what I would want to do so Eduardo has some kind of activies other than playing video games...thanks again.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on May. 12, 2014 at 3:48 PM

Welcome to the group mama!  

RockinEducation
by on May. 12, 2014 at 4:01 PM

 PM me if you want to chat/vent. (I've been in your shoes, just in different ways.)

Bobcatridge
by Carol on May. 12, 2014 at 6:19 PM

I appreciate the issues you have with your son.  My 13 yr old daughter doesn't like sports and simply won't play.  I have to admit I never liked sports so I don't force it.  She wants no scheduled after school activities - scheduled activities that she must do stress her.  If given a choice she would never leave the house.  I force her to be involved.  For instance if there is a 4H meeting or event, she will complain and meltdown all the way there, but after she is there she is fine and when it is over she clearly has enjoyed it.  The ride home is always much better.  I try to find activities that are based on her interests.  She does 4H because she likes animals.  Last year she was in the rabbit project in 4H.  She complained, had meltdowns, etc all the way through learning how to do rabbit showmanship.  She complained all the way through the fair but when she got 3rd place in Rabbit Showmanship she was very proud and happy.  She likes to draw manga so this summer she is taking a 2D animation course.  I also signed her up for a stop motion video course.  Now that she is all signed up and it is paid for, she is saying she doesn't want to go.  Too bad, she is going.  Sometimes if we are going out as a family we tell her she must come and that is it.  We have noticed that too much time in front of the computer screen makes her grouchy so we limit screen time.  At any rate it takes a constant effort.  Sometimes all the effort gets to me but I keep pushing because it really does help her. 

wildchild.com
by Janine on May. 12, 2014 at 9:01 PM
Hello & welcome :-)
MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on May. 12, 2014 at 9:36 PM
Sometimes... I was actually feeling the same way a few Sundays ago. I volunteer for 3rd grade. Getting ready to go & going is hard, but once I'm there, I really enjoy myself.

My son is the same way. If you ask him "do you want to go" he'll always say no. But once there he wants to stay there.

Its the transitions that are hard.

B/c he's only 5, we soldier through... I have no idea what 12 yrs old is like...

It sounds like its the right thing to do to "encourage" some outings, but to make sure there is enough down time for him too...

Hugs mama
brennan5882300
by Member on May. 13, 2014 at 8:42 AM


Quoting JigsawMom:

We like to camp, go to the beach, fish, hike, all that stuff.  Eduardo says he don't like going and would rather stay home.  When he does go it looks like he's having a great time and a lot of family fun...Even family pool parties or B.B.Qs at aunts and uncle houses.  He say's he don't want to go. But he always ends up having fun...But if you ask him after if he had fun he will tell you no. 

Or am I hurting him by making him do 1/2 of the stuff that we want to do as a family.

I'm not sure this is necessarily an autism thing.  I had anxiety going places as a child, fine once I was there for a while.  And I might have said the same thing as your son afterwards, lol! 

I don't think you should change what your family likes to do.  I think it will help your son make adjustments in the long run.  And somewhere along the way he might find something he's interested in!  :)

terri-553
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Yesterday at 9:42 AM
by Terri on May. 13, 2014 at 9:41 AM

welcome to cafemom

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