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ABA assessment going better them I expected so far

Posted by on Jun. 21, 2014 at 3:06 AM
  • 7 Replies
My son was finally diagniosed with hfa. Finally because we have been trying to figure out what was going on with him since around 3. Anyways, so our insurance is setting us up with easter seals for ABA therapy. My husband and I sat down with this really nice lady and I was explaining to her everything that is going on and for once it felt like someone was really listening to me. It was nice to talk to someone and have them truely understand and didn't flinch at some of the things I mentioned. My son is high functioning so I get a ton of evil looks when he is melting down in the store and I know they think I'm a crummy mom and I can't control my child. I guess I've been feeling really isolated. I've gotten afraid to leave the house. Before every trip I have to decide if it is really worth it. Sorry for rambling...
by on Jun. 21, 2014 at 3:06 AM
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Replies (1-7):
by Darby on Jun. 21, 2014 at 7:13 AM

Welcome to the group mama!  Big hugs and let us know how ABA goes once he starts.  We all understand:)

by Silver Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 9:28 AM
Hugs. We started ABA in February too. Sometimes it feels as if ABA is more for moms than the kid. I know how you feel. For so long I felt as if I was the only one noticing ds strengths and comic personality. Nobody else saw it and talked about it.

It is reassuring when at doctors and school meetings there is another individual that is pointing out ds gains. I swear they didn't believe me that he has a sense of humor and plenty of nt behaviors. She is also strict and pushes him. Most importantly, she convinced dh how to ignore bad behavior instead of "discipline."

Hugs hugs hugs
by Platinum Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 1:42 PM

Welcome to the group.  Glad you are getting services!

by Carissa on Jun. 21, 2014 at 10:29 PM

Glad it's going well and I understand how you are feeling.

by Member on Jun. 21, 2014 at 11:14 PM
Thanks everyone. The main reason I joined the group is I'm so tired of fealing alone. Even my husband doesn't fully get it because he often works six days a week. Glad to have people who can relate to what I'm going through.
by Platinum Member on Jun. 22, 2014 at 10:00 AM

Welcome to the group. I have been in that position of weighing whether a trip anywhere was worth the meltdowns. ABA therapy has helped us immenseley. My son does so much better now when we go places.

by Bronze Member on Jun. 22, 2014 at 10:12 AM

No it's just that many of the high functioning kids really fool people.   As a lady at the park told me, 'he doesn't LOOK autistic, why is he so UPSET?'


People don't get that many people with autism can function very well in one area and not in others.   In some ways, it's actually tougher with a kid who is high functioning.

One of the kids I worked with had very severe autism and 'looked autistic'.   When he would start to shout or say his favorite thing 'eeeeeeee!'  it didn't seem to ruffle anyone's feathers.  BUT...when I took my friend's son (hfa) places and he got upset people would give me SUCH dirty looks and I got comments like, 'Oh he's just SPOILED!  His mamma SPOILED HIM!  He needs a good smack on the face!'

You know what changed it for me?   

Well, I lost it one day.   I got up in a lady's face and shouted, 'HERE, YOU SMACK HIM ON THE FACE!   AND I'LL HAVE YOUR SORRY ASS ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT, and NOT ONLY THAT, HE WILL GET EVEN WORSE!!!!'

She backed away from me like I was a few cells shy of having a brain, LOL. changed me.   After that, I no longer cared what anyone said to me.   I knew I was handling the kid the best I could, I knew the KID was doing the best he could, and I knew that he needed to be out in social situations so he could learn to be more independent one day.

Knowing I was doing what I was supposed to do, knowing the arm chair critics were full of it...I got so I just did not give a flying poop what anyone said, whatever looks I got.  

When you know you're right, it gives you strength - it's a very strange thing, but it will happen to you.  I've seen it happen to other people - it's like a blinding flash of light - suddenly you KNOW.  YOU JUST KNOW.

Maybe you won't react as I did - maybe you'll burst into tears or laughter - but IT WILL CHANGE YOU.  FOREVER.

AND THAT is when you start to heal - you stop grieving, your little doubts in yourself evaporate...and you know you're doing what you need to do for your children, AND for yourself.

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