I'm not sure how to handle this.
And now let's add in my husband who is maybe too sensitive and is getting his feelings hurt by a 4 yr old.
With our oldest, dh could say/do anything he wanted because B was/is the type to just take it. He internalizes everything and he takes everything out on himself. So just understand, that while I don't agree, the relationship between B and dh is that dh could fuss or yell at him and B would pretty much never push back and would always comply.
My middle child and only girl, M, is different than her big brother. Dh is wrapped around her finger though. And if he wants something from her or is frustrated with her, he won't fuss or yell or ever be as harsh as he would be at B for the same thing because she will yell back. So he always has been more gentle with her and he calls it "watering the flowers." (Side note - this has always pissed me off because I don't think they're treated fairly).
Okay now add in Liam, the 4 yr old. He's quick to anger too but unlike his sister, there's no "watering of the flowers" to lessen the blow so to speak. You're either pissing him off or you're not. And he will tell you straight up.
Lately he's been angry at dh. I don't even know what about. But last night he told him something like, "you're being a big giant jerk." I told Liam he wasn't being nice and we don't call people names and told him to say sorry. So be goes over to dh and says, "sorry dad. Never be a big giant jerk again."
How do you handle it when the kid just says what's on his mind? Dh has his feelings hurt and I'm trying to tell him, Liam is 4. He doesn't have a filter. He wears his feelings on his sleeve and says whatever he is feeling and to stop giving him attention for it. I've been trying to redirect Liam, give him words for his emotions: you're angry. You don't like that. That makes you frustrated.
I don't know what else to do. And I'm not sure how to gage how serious this behavior is.