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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

How Do You Deal With "The Look"?

Posted by on Jul. 19, 2014 at 1:34 PM
  • 38 Replies

Whenever we go to the grocery store, it's interesting to see different reactions from people when they see my son go past them. Our little boy loves Raleys. He usually sits in the shopping cart even though he's already 8  because he enjoys the ride through the aisles. Most folks are indifferent, going about their way. One or two look at us and smile and nod as we smile back. And then there's "The Look" which is associated with a long disapproving stare, one raised eyebrow, and sometimes followed by a snicker.

My hubby deals with it well, and just shrugs it off. He does not even notice it most of the time. I still have a difficult time coping with it. I usually just stare back and hope I win the staring contest.

How do you deal with it?

by on Jul. 19, 2014 at 1:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Jenn8604
by on Jul. 19, 2014 at 1:39 PM
1 mom liked this
I ignore it. My 6 year old still rides in the shopping cart as does his friend from school. Both tend to run. Both verbally stim. Both us moms are OK with it. And when we run into each other at the store we try to get them to use their words and say hi to each other.
Now if someone says something look out cuz it's on like Donkey Kong.
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Jenn8604
by on Jul. 19, 2014 at 1:40 PM
4 moms liked this
Tell them take a picture, it will last longer. People HATE THAT.
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Rust.n.Gears
by Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 1:41 PM
1 mom liked this
State back or wave
Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Jul. 19, 2014 at 1:53 PM
1 mom liked this
My son is only 4 but he is kinda big for his age. And when people stare and do that, I tell nick, can you say hi! Then his wave or maybe hi, usually gets them moving on their way. ;)
wildchild.com
by Janine on Jul. 19, 2014 at 2:11 PM
1 mom liked this

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Hi & welcome! I just ignore the look. Why get yourself all angry inside when these people are just ignorant.
Myrns
by Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 2:53 PM
1 mom liked this

Thanks, Jenn, Rust, Nickmom and Wildchild! Have not tried waving yet. The "lookers" probably don't expect that reaction. :) Ignoring them seems to be the best way, but bringing on Donkey Kong when a snipe is spoken should make them think twice about doing it again!!!

trippyhippy
by Bronze Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 3:25 PM
1 mom liked this

My 9 year old still sits in the cart sometimes.  It's the only way I can actually shop. His new thing is reading everyone's name tags and saying hi to them (50 times per store)so he will ellope to see someone's name tag half way across the store and have a meltdown if I try to stop him.  So sometimes sitting in the cart is the only way.  I just ignore as best I can.

Myrns
by Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 3:46 PM

Hi Trippyhippy, to me, it's adorable that your son reads name tags and says hi! My son giggles a lot and waves. Not sure why other people think otherwise.

johnns
by Johnna on Jul. 19, 2014 at 4:22 PM
1 mom liked this
Yeh, Sally- 5 still rides in cart, at Wal-Mart anyways. We're working on 'walking' with mommy in smaller stored. Much improvement has been made, Wal-Mart still too busy!!

Quoting Jenn8604: I ignore it. My 6 year old still rides in the shopping cart as does his friend from school. Both tend to run. Both verbally stim. Both us moms are OK with it. And when we run into each other at the store we try to get them to use their words and say hi to each other.
Now if someone says something look out cuz it's on like Donkey Kong.
sunshinepraying
by Bronze Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 4:32 PM
1 mom liked this

Another mom I recently met in DS's gymnastics class told me she made cards she carries around with her now. If she sees someone giving her or her son a dirty look or if they say something to her, she will hand them the card that states her son has Austism. She said that usually is enough to cause a person who is acting mean or seems disapproving, into someone who turns sympathetic. She said she'd rather the sympathy than having to deal with their attitude towards how her son is doing. I thought it was an interesting idea. 

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