• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Idk what to do

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:08 PM
  • 24 Replies

 

Poll

Question: WWYD?

Options:

Listen to parents they know best

Try when the time is right


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 8

View Results

I'm in my late twenties been dating my boyfriend for. 7 months. He does have a child from a previous relationship. I was talking to him and he said down the line in like 5 years he wants to try to have a daughter. I am mentally disabled and basically it just takes me alittle longer to understand things. My family doesn't think I'd make a good mother. I do not have alot of patience but I'm working on it. They say if I get pregnant they will disown me. Boyfriend says he will take care of me. Like I said this wouldn't happen for 5 or more years. WWYD? Boyfriend is 17 years older than me. I don't know if that matters I have high functioning autisim.
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:08 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Nicole_2007
by Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:55 PM

I would try when the time is right.  A lot of people don't have a lot of patience but make good parents.  My husband don't have patince at all but is a great dad.  I know a few people with Autism that are better parents then some of us that don't have disorders.  You have to do what you feel is right.  As long as he is willing to take care of you and help you out then I would go for it.  And age shouldn't matter much/.  My dad was 13 years older then my mom.    My niece is about to marry someone that is 18 years older then her.  Age is just a number.  If you both love each other thats what matters

amonkeymom
by Amy on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:57 PM

It's not up to your parents, it's up to you and your partner and what you feel is best.

Anon000
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:02 PM
Quoting Nicole_2007:

I would try when the time is right.  A lot of people don't have a lot of patience but make good parents.  My husband don't have patince at all but is a great dad.  I know a few people with Autism that are better parents then some of us that don't have disorders.  You have to do what you feel is right.  As long as he is willing to take care of you and help you out then I would go for it.  And age shouldn't matter much/.  My dad was 13 years older then my mom.    My niece is about to marry someone that is 18 years older then her.  Age is just a number.  If you both love each other thats what matters

he has the patience s of a saint I'm the one that needs to work on having patience he does have ADHD.
Nicole_2007
by Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:10 PM


Quoting Anon000:
Quoting Nicole_2007:

I would try when the time is right.  A lot of people don't have a lot of patience but make good parents.  My husband don't have patince at all but is a great dad.  I know a few people with Autism that are better parents then some of us that don't have disorders.  You have to do what you feel is right.  As long as he is willing to take care of you and help you out then I would go for it.  And age shouldn't matter much/.  My dad was 13 years older then my mom.    My niece is about to marry someone that is 18 years older then her.  Age is just a number.  If you both love each other thats what matters

he has the patience s of a saint I'm the one that needs to work on having patience he does have ADHD.

I am sure he could help you with that.  I have learned being around kids helps with the patience.  My husband has actually gotten a little better with patience since we have been togeather.  Since he wants to wait 5 years that will be something you could work on

baby
baby growth
baby
Anon000
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:18 PM
Quoting Nicole_2007:

Quoting Anon000:
Quoting Nicole_2007:

I would try when the time is right.  A lot of people don't have a lot of patience but make good parents.  My husband don't have patince at all but is a great dad.  I know a few people with Autism that are better parents then some of us that don't have disorders.  You have to do what you feel is right.  As long as he is willing to take care of you and help you out then I would go for it.  And age shouldn't matter much/.  My dad was 13 years older then my mom.    My niece is about to marry someone that is 18 years older then her.  Age is just a number.  If you both love each other thats what matters

he has the patience s of a saint I'm the one that needs to work on having patience he does have ADHD.

I am sure he could help you with that.  I have learned being around kids helps with the patience.  My husband has actually gotten a little better with patience since we have been togeather.  Since he wants to wait 5 years that will be something you could work on

he already has a 6 year old so I'm hoping by me spending time with his son (6 yrs old) I can try to improve on my patience
Nicole_2007
by Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:26 PM


Quoting Anon000:
Quoting Nicole_2007:


Quoting Anon000:
Quoting Nicole_2007:

I would try when the time is right.  A lot of people don't have a lot of patience but make good parents.  My husband don't have patince at all but is a great dad.  I know a few people with Autism that are better parents then some of us that don't have disorders.  You have to do what you feel is right.  As long as he is willing to take care of you and help you out then I would go for it.  And age shouldn't matter much/.  My dad was 13 years older then my mom.    My niece is about to marry someone that is 18 years older then her.  Age is just a number.  If you both love each other thats what matters

he has the patience s of a saint I'm the one that needs to work on having patience he does have ADHD.

I am sure he could help you with that.  I have learned being around kids helps with the patience.  My husband has actually gotten a little better with patience since we have been togeather.  Since he wants to wait 5 years that will be something you could work on

he already has a 6 year old so I'm hoping by me spending time with his son (6 yrs old) I can try to improve on my patience

That is a very good start.  When I got to gather with my husband my oldest was almost 5 and my son was almost 2.  He had to have alot of patience cause my daughter possibly has autism and is hard to handle.  Its still hard for him but he has learned how to be patient because of Paige.  I would just spend as much time with his son as you cna and see how you handle kids

baby
baby growth
baby
lady-J-Rock
by Niki on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:30 PM
1 mom liked this
A big fat this. If it was up to my parents I'd still be living at home with no kids or husband.

Quoting amonkeymom:

It's not up to your parents, it's up to you and your partner and what you feel is best.

Anon000
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:32 PM
Quoting Nicole_2007:

Quoting Anon000:
Quoting Nicole_2007:

Quoting Anon000:
Quoting Nicole_2007:

I would try when the time is right.  A lot of people don't have a lot of patience but make good parents.  My husband don't have patince at all but is a great dad.  I know a few people with Autism that are better parents then some of us that don't have disorders.  You have to do what you feel is right.  As long as he is willing to take care of you and help you out then I would go for it.  And age shouldn't matter much/.  My dad was 13 years older then my mom.    My niece is about to marry someone that is 18 years older then her.  Age is just a number.  If you both love each other thats what matters

he has the patience s of a saint I'm the one that needs to work on having patience he does have ADHD.

I am sure he could help you with that.  I have learned being around kids helps with the patience.  My husband has actually gotten a little better with patience since we have been togeather.  Since he wants to wait 5 years that will be something you could work on

he already has a 6 year old so I'm hoping by me spending time with his son (6 yrs old) I can try to improve on my patience

That is a very good start.  When I got to gather with my husband my oldest was almost 5 and my son was almost 2.  He had to have alot of patience cause my daughter possibly has autism and is hard to handle.  Its still hard for him but he has learned how to be patient because of Paige.  I would just spend as much time with his son as you cna and see how you handle kids

I love kids and I think I may take to his son because its a part of him. I already get his son a donught every day when I get my coffee but I do know our time as the three of us will be limited because he starts school the end of next month and his dad and I work grave shift so he is regular schedule boyfriend and I are on third shift schedule and he spends most of his time with boyfriends mom and step dad
lady_katie
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:37 PM
1 mom liked this
Another factor for you to consider is the age that your boyfriend would be when your potential future child is a teenager. He may or may not actually be well enough to take care of you and your child at that age. He might even need a care taker himself. Not trying to be negative here. I'm on the spectrum myself, and I'm all for autistic people becoming parents and all, but in this case, I really think you would need to make sure you are capable of handling this alone if you had to. Or at least have a very solid back up plan for help. It's the responsible thing to do.
AnnaNonamus
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:42 PM

At this point in your relationship, I think you should just take it day by day, and not look so far ahead just yet. When the time is right, you will know. I don't think having autism means you won't be a good mom. There are a lot of us here who are autistic, or have borderline autistic tendencies (I fall into that group), and we all have our own problem areas, but a good partner helps in the areas we struggle with. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)