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I'm usually such a softy but today, I had it.

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:12 PM
  • 7 Replies

 I admit it. I am the mom who does empty threats. I never follow through with "You'll get a time out", "I'm going to return it", "that's it, we are leaving the store"...etc. But today DS pushed me to the limit while we were in the car. I tested my self-made boundaries and followed through. DS was back talking, being the word I HATE saying..."brat", repeating I want I want...NO...all the wonderful things children say when they know they can take advantage of nice mommy. I had so much to do today. I wanted to buy cleaning supplies and donate some toys to the library. Well after he started, I skipped the library and started warning him. Then the further we drove through town the worse he got. I finally told him "that's IT, we are going back home". He started freaking out more and more. When he started seeing landmarks indicating we were getting closer to the house his voice transformed from whiny freaking out screaming child to a serious "I'm sorry mommy". He knew I was serious this time. I had to drag him out of the car and once inside he started throwing stuff in his room. I focused my attention on cleaning the living room. Poor DD just kind of...stood there. I broke down after a while and started crying. DS calmed down, sat on my lap and he apologized for stepping on an ant that scared him while at the mall yesterday. He practically cried himself to sleep last night about it. So his outbursts could have very well been built up guilt continuing from yesterday maybe? Anyways, we made up after a while. Very stressful day

by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:12 PM
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Replies (1-7):
TheJerseyGirl
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:21 PM

Oh girl, I hate those days. I'm hoping tomorrow is better for you!

Macphee
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:40 PM
Hugs, those days drain your energy don't they. The fact that he realized what he did that quick is a testament to how much patience you have.

Our behavior plan is to ignore the screaming, sometimes so hard. Ds lasted 45 mns at the grocery store. I've taken to playing audiobooks in the car over the radio.
darbyakeep45
by Darby on Jul. 24, 2014 at 5:21 AM

Hugs mama!!!

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Jul. 24, 2014 at 5:21 AM

We ignore the screaming too.

Quoting Macphee: Hugs, those days drain your energy don't they. The fact that he realized what he did that quick is a testament to how much patience you have. Our behavior plan is to ignore the screaming, sometimes so hard. Ds lasted 45 mns at the grocery store. I've taken to playing audiobooks in the car over the radio.


faithPsalm27
by on Jul. 27, 2014 at 2:21 AM

Hugs and prayer....

tonijoy79
by Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 3:35 AM

hope tomorrow is a better day,and we all have days when we cant just be that softie. you are doing well with him, i have those days too, when normally we are all good and cuddly and sweet, to a little monster i dont recognise with big fists and a really loud roar! you did well, i just try to ignore the bad as much as i can, but out is a lot harder.

take a deep breath, and remember our job isnt the easiest, we deserve to be able to freak out once in a while, but the rewards are so much greater as well.

god bless and have a good night!

SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 7:25 AM

why would you think modeling calm behavior was being a softie? You s ound like youre putting yourself down in the beginning of this post and to me you sound GREAT!!!! You were and typically do great... the empty threats are "letting him kow" you're not liking his behavior.. maybe instead of making them you could just tell him "Im not liking that behavior"... (only because YOU feel bad about making the empty threats... they dont bother him...and really, if they DONT bother you, then, dont worry about them. )

You typically DONT want to create the SPIKE of uncontrolled behavior and typically you avoid it. Our kids DONT learn during the spike... and the spike is ugly... (for you and for him) but HECK. as moms we are HUMAN... I did THIS just the other day... LOL.. we ALL act out when we cant handle the demands of the situation.. you couldnt handle it-- and you acted out. Ok. move forward. Really our kids need robots to raise them... robots wouldnt have our emotional breakdowns... LOL.. and we canr be expected to be robots!

Why do you think your son freaked out in the car? Was there an unmet expectation? Was there ensory overload? Was there anxiety about all the stops? Was he aware of what the day entailed or were you accidentally springing all these transitions on him without giving him info (these are not accusations, Im trying to problem solve with you... ) they were coming? Did he know the expectations of the day? Was he frustrated?

I think it you look at the day you'll see what had him "less" elastic to the day... and what brought on the spike. if not, then Id be happy to help if you want to figure out the cause so you can move forward knowing the "soft" spot. :)

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