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Stressed out MOM!!!

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 3:01 AM
  • 7 Replies

My son is 19yrs old with mild autism...I also have a 17 yr old daughter without autism...both of my children are from the same man...my daughter has a boyfriend...and now my son has become very jealous and protective of his sister...I feel so bad because my daughter can't bring her boyfriend around because of the way it makes my son feel...my son will even wait up for my daughter to come home from her date...my doctor has given him anxiety medication...but I really don't think it's working...Has anyone experienced this with there autistic child?

by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 3:01 AM
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Replies (1-7):
MixedCooke
by Group Admin on Jul. 25, 2014 at 3:12 AM
1 mom liked this

my daughter is only 4 so no not yet.  Maybe discussing their relationship and what it means may help and if the guy ingratiates himself to your son by allowing him to go on fun dates with them like bowling, the movies, to play pool, etc., it may help him accept him easier.  I wish my girls had a protective older brother and I actually think that is more natural than anything to do with his autism.

Momof4AEMW
by Platinum Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:51 AM
1 mom liked this

Mine are 5, so no.  I hope he finds a way to cope.  Maybe try a social story explaining dating, and that she is still his sister.  Might be time to start talking about her moving out down the road so he can begin to adjust to that.  Some things take a while four our kids to understand the concept, and change is so hard for them anyway.  Hugs.

lisa12121
by Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 9:52 AM

It is great that your son is protective of his sister. Can your son verbalize why he is so protective? Does he not like the boyfriend, is there something the boy did? As far as the anxiety medicine, my ASD son takes meds and it takes time for the meds to help normalize their feelings. Sometimes a few weeks and discuss with the doctor to see if maybe the dose is too low. They like to start at the lowest amount and graduate upwards until they find a dose that does the job. Since my ASD son is the middle child at 14 and my daughter is 10, we don't have that problem. The oldest is 18 and my children have never had issues with his friends or girlfriends (they are too young to really care). So hang in there. But with all ASD kids, you have to talk, talk, talk...to get them to recognize their feelings and then model/teach how he should react with the new guy. I also like the suggestion of your daughter and her BF inviting your son along on some bonding activities. Bowling, movies, mini-golf, etc. Good luck.

TheJerseyGirl
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 8:07 PM

My son is 4 years younger than my 17 year old DD. He wasnt thrilled with the boyfriend but is used to him after 2 years. Maybe it will just take some time.

faithPsalm27
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 11:26 PM


Quoting lisa12121:

It is great that your son is protective of his sister. Can your son verbalize why he is so protective? Does he not like the boyfriend, is there something the boy did? As far as the anxiety medicine, my ASD son takes meds and it takes time for the meds to help normalize their feelings. Sometimes a few weeks and discuss with the doctor to see if maybe the dose is too low. They like to start at the lowest amount and graduate upwards until they find a dose that does the job. Since my ASD son is the middle child at 14 and my daughter is 10, we don't have that problem. The oldest is 18 and my children have never had issues with his friends or girlfriends (they are too young to really care). So hang in there. But with all ASD kids, you have to talk, talk, talk...to get them to recognize their feelings and then model/teach how he should react with the new guy. I also like the suggestion of your daughter and her BF inviting your son along on some bonding activities. Bowling, movies, mini-golf, etc. Good luck.


faithPsalm27
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 11:32 PM

Thanks for all your good advice...his dad and I have tried talking to him but my son wants nothing to do with my daughters b/f...and no my daughter's b/f has done nothing to cause this reaction...he's a good kid...my son has been taking anxiety meds for about 2 weeks...I hope your right maybe the meds need more time to work...anyway we have an appointment in a few weeks with the Doc...I surely tell her whats going on....

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Jul. 26, 2014 at 9:41 AM
Hugs mama!!! We only have one child and he's 5.
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