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Birthday parties!

Posted by on Jul. 27, 2014 at 1:12 AM
  • 16 Replies

ok  so my oh so sweet high functioning asd son is turning 5 in september, and his dad broached the subject of a party at a visit, and i vetoed it straight away without even thinking about it.

but it did get me thinking about maybe one day my son may actually want one. has anyone tried hosting a birthday party for their kids, what did you do, and how did it go? its a small town, so it would only be bradley as asd, the rest would be mostly non-spectrum kids, so unsure of how that would go, as they wouldnt understand the noise boundries, personal space, the reaction to presents he didnt like.

all this stuff is why i have said no, but just wonder if it has been tried and how it worked out, and any tips or advice? as for now, his dad is kind of listening to my advice on stuff like that, but next year when the court is all over and done and he doesnt have to play nice, a party may be forced on the child when he is with his father.(its more about what the father wants, rather than what is good for the child, he wants him to have a party!) so i would rather plan it, and make it better for the child and less traumatic. so any suggestions or ideas on parties and how to make them work would be very welcome.

thanks

by on Jul. 27, 2014 at 1:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mypbandj
by Jen on Jul. 27, 2014 at 1:23 AM
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Have a very small party with 1-2 other kids max. Make it simple and at your house so you can control the environment. Or go somewhere be likes to go anyway. Like a park maybe.

Use social stories before hand to teach him how you want him to accept gifts.
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faithPsalm27
by on Jul. 27, 2014 at 3:02 AM
1 mom liked this

My son has mild autism and is currently 19...but he used to have fun at his birthday parties...you'd be surprised as how well some asd children do....sure give him a party...Do the invited guests know about your son?...It would make things easier if they did...prepare your son let him know what will go on...does he have a favorite toy?...my son used to love playing with cars...so I told my invited guests to buy him cars...good luck...hugs and prayers...

SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 8:04 AM
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Rule of thumb is one child for each year ... So 5 total... Id pick a venue that has a planned activity: so the children including yours knows what to do... (Swimming) keep it short.. 1.5-2 hours max. Just keep it simple.. Activity, cake, home! We dont open presents AT the party, it isnt done here (not even NT parties..lol) 

a fun thing we did for a party was had it at sundown.. We hid candy and gave the boys light sticks to find the candy with.. Like an easter egg hunt, off season. Pizza, cupcakes, done! :) we gave them 15-25 minutes ti run around with unstructure and then picked up by parents. 

You just need to set it up successfully.. Unstructure is hard, no one KNOWS what to do...:) 


Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Jul. 27, 2014 at 8:25 AM
Nick doesn't really have friends yet. But at his 4th bday. We invited all the little kids in the family. Which was about 6. I made the party things that he loves. It was his day. For example, we had pbj sandwiches. That one one of the very few things he ate. (The adults didn't like it) but so what! Then he loves to be outside. So, we had if in our yard. (Where he could go inside by his self if he needed.) he had games that gave plenty of space. Like red light green light. Just try to think of things that would help him to make it fun.
dannix7x
by Bronze Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 8:26 AM
I love all of this! Sounds like a fun party that wouldn't be too much!



Quoting SamMom912:

Rule of thumb is one child for each year ... So 5 total... Id pick a venue that has a planned activity: so the children including yours knows what to do... (Swimming) keep it short.. 1.5-2 hours max. Just keep it simple.. Activity, cake, home! We dont open presents AT the party, it isnt done here (not even NT parties..lol) 

a fun thing we did for a party was had it at sundown.. We hid candy and gave the boys light sticks to find the candy with.. Like an easter egg hunt, off season. Pizza, cupcakes, done! :) we gave them 15-25 minutes ti run around with unstructure and then picked up by parents. 

You just need to set it up successfully.. Unstructure is hard, no one KNOWS what to do...:) 

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Jul. 27, 2014 at 10:16 AM
We did a party one year...when he turned 4. Never again. He could care in the least. Not worth it. Now we do a weekend trip each year:)
lady-J-Rock
by Niki on Jul. 27, 2014 at 11:19 AM
We just had a birthday party for Xavier ( turns 3 tomorrow and ASD) Lily ( turns 5 in a few weeks selective mutism, SPD and APD) and a really good friend of mines boy ( turns 4 in a few days)
We had it at a local pool around 25-30 people showed up. He loved it. All of the kids loved it. I didn't take pictures because we were too busy swimming.
Start small and find an activity he loves.
Nicole_2007
by Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 5:38 PM

Most of Paiges parties are just with Family members.  She did have a few kids over when she was 4 and it went great.  We got a little bounce house for the kids to bounce in and let them run around outside and play.  Were we live now she don't really have any friends yet that come to her parties since her birthday is a summer Birthday.  She will be 8 tomorrow and she just enjoys having the family over for her birthday

rsox1027
by on Jul. 27, 2014 at 5:57 PM

My nephew is 5 with Asd  and he really seems to enjoy social gatherings but he can't handle people singing happy birthday. He blockes his ears and says "no happy no happy".  We have learned that at family birthday parties we sing very quietly and  and we let him know beforehand and he decides if he can handle it. We have a very large family and there are many birthdays so we are trying to get him used to it without it being so difficult for him. I teach in middle school and have also seen Asd students have a very difficult time when all the students sing Happy Birthday. They block their ears and shake. If we know it is an issue beforehand we have someone take them to a quiet place first. It just seems to be too much noise or stimulation for them to handle.

Jenn8604
by on Jul. 27, 2014 at 6:03 PM
We had two kids from his autism class, his cousin and one of the kids lil sisters for ds'.I have birthday party's for him. But hardly anyone shows up. His class has 5 kids besides him and only 2 came. Last time I sent out invites after 3 yr old pre-k (4th birthday) only one came (he was one of the boys at this years party).
If he is in a special needs class at school invite them. It will be a small class and all the parents will stay.
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