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Fears & anxiety causing some regression

Posted by on Jul. 27, 2014 at 3:36 AM
  • 2 Replies
The closer we get to our 2 older kids starting public school (3rd and K) it seems the more my son regresses. He seems excited for Kindergarten the more we discuss it and prepare for it the more things pop up. He started sucking his thumb Oct '12 then I found out I was preggo. He STOPPED sucking it shortly after OT started, so beginning of summer. I noticed it today. He is chewing on inappropriate items, lashing out, etc.

I'm also starting a coaching job Monday. A few hours every day, upwards of 3-4 hours per day max.

Is there anything we can do? Hopefully his mental health therapist (I have no idea her actual title so bare with my made up one lol) will get him started before school. How can we ease his anxiety during these huge transitions? I thought I was doing well by constantly talking about things, what to expect and all of that. Usually it does help. :( I don't want school especially to be stressful.
by on Jul. 27, 2014 at 3:36 AM
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tonijoy79
by Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 4:02 AM

i dont know, i feel for you though, as my son is doing similar things.

i do the same as you, try to talk about them as much as possible, try talking to him about kindy with a book or something, or play a game where he is taking teddy to kindy, and maybe he can say what teddy is scared of, or it  may just come out with a book, he might say something about how that looked good or scary? sorry i am asuming the child is verbal with these suggestions.

maybe take him on a tour of the kindy (they are usually ok with that if you ask and explain) while they are in session playing and stuff so that he can see what its all about? or watch a dvd (check the library for dvds or books on starting kindy, they usually show kindys really well for the kids) so he can see what he is going into.

sorry i know these are generic solutions, but the tour worked for my son, but during times of major stress just grab hold for the ride, they dont cope and take it out on you very well. just try to give him a safe area, or a special comfort toy to hold, there are sensory ones out there that help for that, and when you see him suck his thumb, give him to comfort toy instead, when he chews on something inappropriate, bring the toy out again. while he is going through this change try to be sensitive and patient, and ease off on reacting to the lashing out, i find if i let it go a bit, it helps him calm down quicker, if i jump on it, and call him for it, he stays in the zone for longer. just be there for them after and cuddle them and let them know they are still ok and you still love them.

these are just my ideas from what i found worked for my son, you may like some or none of them, but thought i would just offer them. my son is verbal, and we have a chat before bed, when he is snuggled up with me, and usually now after a few months of this, he has come to tell me what is stressing him out, and i know when something is, cause there are monsters in his room, a good dash of monster spray and a chat makes them go away!

hope this helps even just alittle, hugs to you

SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 7:14 AM

id wonder if he is anxious because you keep talking about it? maybe you could ask him if he think it helps or no? 'Does it make you feel better to talk about starting school, or nervous?" maybe you could find out IF he is nervous, what his concerns are- and put those to rest. Im sure youre being positive and upbeat. :)

I dont think of chewing or sucking as regression as much as his need for proprioceptive input... so make sure he has good input by doing good exercises to give him that info... check out http://www.sensortsmart.com/ for a list of proprioceptive ideas..

as far as lashing out-- well, he is stressed.. he has less to "give" we all snap, lash, "leak" when we are bubbling over with a feeling... try to simply ifnore it and know that it is stemming from a place of anxiety.... try to "kill him with kindness" and compassion... maybe a day to NOT talk about school? Just a fun day to get the stuff off his plate and mind?

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