Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Problems In TheFuture

Posted by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 1:32 PM
  • 8 Replies

My boy has always been resistant to doing certain things.  He is now 7 and getting tall and stronger.  I am finding it harder to physically get him to do things he doesn't want to do.  For example: he doesn't want to put pants on.  I have to sort of wrestle with him sometimes(I always win..eventually).   What I am worried about is when he gets older and bigger.  In a couple years it will be a problem because I am a petite person with some artritis and and ever growing knee problem.  I Have been managing with doctors advice and am doing O.K. now but I worry for later.  Any ideas and advice for my situation? 

by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 1:32 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-8):
Logansmom1999
by Kristina on Aug. 4, 2014 at 1:47 PM
1 mom liked this

When my child got bigger than me (3inches taller and 10 lbs heavier), I sought help from a psych doctor. We started him on maintenance meds and a PRN to take when he is oppositional and aggressive. Meds are not always the answer but in our case it has made a big difference - the difference between keeping him at home and institutionalized. I want my baby with me as long as possible. My heart breaks for the eventual day he will require placement.

Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 2:46 PM

Hugs!  I think a lot of us have that fear!!  I know I do! 

Quoting Logansmom1999:

When my child got bigger than me (3inches taller and 10 lbs heavier), I sought help from a psych doctor. We started him on maintenance meds and a PRN to take when he is oppositional and aggressive. Meds are not always the answer but in our case it has made a big difference - the difference between keeping him at home and institutionalized. I want my baby with me as long as possible. My heart breaks for the eventual day he will require placement.

 

Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 2:48 PM

Is he in any kind of ABA, sensory, or behavioral therapy?  I guess I would start working on the issue now, before he does get too big/strong.  They may be able to work with him to figure out why he doesn't want to wear pants, what pants he'd accept wearing, how to get him to put them on without a struggle.  I'm sure that is a hard part of your day!  Hugs!

SamMom912
by Gold Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 3:06 PM

Does he have sensory issues or do you think the dressing is a transitional issue? Is he verbal?
Im not big on teaching kids that "since Im bigger, I can force things" because like you, Im little.. and chances are my son will be bigger then me (sooner rather then later, LOL) and well, might isnt necessarily right. Id wonder WHY he is having difficulty with dressing.. and Id wonder if you could listen to his concerns about the change (if he is verbal). For a while I stuck Sams clothes in the dryer (in the winter months) since who doesnt LOVE to put on warm cozy clothes when its a cold winter morning?? But, Im not sure if that is an option for you.. or if he may have some ideas on why getting dressed is an issue and what solutions he may have... what we (as ASD parents) are hoping for is to insititue flexibility and change with as little "push back" as possible. So, Id be curious if you could figure out WHY it is happening... Is it only with certain clothes, is it only on certain days. In order to do this, keep a record.. on a calendar write when it is happening and see if you can find a pattern to the behavior.
If you think it is sensory and it is ONLY around a certain type of pant (jeans?!)
I would honestly (if he is verbal)start letting him tellyou WHY... I see getting dressed is hard for you.. whats up? and let him answer...
Im going to recommend Ross Greenes "the explosive child" JUST for the collaborative approach that I think you may (or may not- decide after you read it- get it from your library) want to apply here.
SINCE force hasnt worked-- sounds like you've been doing this FOR YEARS... so, something ELSE is behind the behavior...

emarin77
by Silver Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 5:11 PM

It might be a sensory issue.  My son loves wearing only sweats.  I do not make it a big deal if he is at home or or outside playing in them.  Thankfully he knows to wear his uniform for school and nice clothing if their is a celebration of some sort. 

I would give your son choices of what to wear.  I would also give him praise when he does where his clothes.  Make sure he has other choices in his life so he doesn't feel his life is controlled.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Aug. 4, 2014 at 7:19 PM

I agree with these ladies...hugs mama!

TheJerseyGirl
by Michele on Aug. 5, 2014 at 7:02 AM

 Your title is the line that will probably be on my casket. Worrying about the future is what keeps me awake at night.

 Hopefully everything will be ok with him!

Genie2
by Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 6:40 PM

My son is   pretty much nonverbal.  He does say about 6 words now(it was 4 words, 3 months ago).  

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)