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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Funerals. =(

Posted by on Aug. 8, 2014 at 7:29 AM
  • 34 Replies

We have a viewing and funeral the next two days and it is a cousin of of ours who D had seen regualrly since he was a baby. I have never had anyone who could watch my kids so he has to go. I've explained that our cousin died (complications after surgery) and he must go. He's been to my grandpop's and both of my DH's grandmothers, but it's been a while.

I'm praying this goes smoothly <<<  hysterical, right?

Have your kids been to funerals? How did it go?


by on Aug. 8, 2014 at 7:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SamMom912
by Gold Member on Aug. 8, 2014 at 8:19 AM
Im sorry. :( i hope D is ok. :( u too.

I had to take Sam to my friends moms funeral when he was 4.
We stated for a short time. Took 1 break in the middle. He did ok.
LivinDeadGurl
by on Aug. 9, 2014 at 3:27 PM

Mine always do well, but they don't seem to really get it either.

Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Aug. 9, 2014 at 5:20 PM
So sry. I hope everything goes ok for you both. My FIL is sick and was put in hospice. So, I have a feeling that we will have to go through the same thing very soon.

Hugs!
Charizma77
by Carissa on Aug. 9, 2014 at 5:24 PM

My kids haven't gone since they were little babies and honestly I don't think it is something Ashton could handle. He is a very emotional kid that has a hard time with being really quiet.  I will be thinking of you and D. Big hugs! 

christina2410
by on Aug. 9, 2014 at 5:40 PM
My brother past away unexpectedly this past June and my 6 yr old did great considering I was a complete wreck. I had a lot of support from my DH and our older son. Our older son has been to several funerals and has always done great. I pray it will go smoothly for you, hugs.
MrsApple
by on Aug. 9, 2014 at 5:50 PM

Yes,at all ages (infant/toddler/and older) and she did very well.

gdiamante
by Member on Aug. 9, 2014 at 8:44 PM

My parents died within a year of each other, when he was six and then seven. My dad had an open casket which he DID NOT see (and frankly I wish I hadn't because the makeup job was so poor and I've tried VERY hard to forget it since then). My mother did NOT have an open casket. She hated them.

He did fine with both services, but I think looking into my father's casket would have upset him terribly. He didn't even get to see my parents during the end stages of their cancers. Dad's turned him yellow, mom's made her so very thin and they both didn't want to scare him. And at the time we didn't even know he had Asperger's.

At least in my neck of the woods, a viewing is NOT a funeral, and I would skip the viewing, only going to the funeral and NOT looking into an open casket, not for anyone.

shunnicutt
by Stephanie on Aug. 9, 2014 at 9:21 PM

I am in awe of all of you who have had to adress death with your kids.  The closest we have come is him saying "if I die before I wake" in his night time prayer, but he has never asked what die means.  I don't even know where I would begin, besides giving him hope and positivity by explaining heaven to him.

Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Aug. 9, 2014 at 10:13 PM

Hugs mama!  Funerals are hard and scary on all kids.  I hope he does ok.  We had my hubs cousins funeral Friday, and I did not take my two with ASD.  They couldn't have handled it.  I did take my one with ADHD, and oldest, and that was exhausting.  She kept talking, was flighty, wouldn't stay put where she needed to.  I know she could not understand it all, but the questioning she had offended some, was sad reminders to others, etc.  I was just done with taking her.  I hope you fair better!

Owl_Feather
by Member on Aug. 9, 2014 at 10:25 PM

 I am so sorry for your loss :( DH lost a friend this morning. Shocked soooo many people in town. So sad. I dont handle death well, even people I dont know too well. DS has only ever dealth with the death of my cat, a puppy and the close loss of his favorite teddy bear (who we reunited with).

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