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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

how do you remain calm?

Posted by on Aug. 29, 2014 at 2:25 PM
  • 41 Replies
How do you remain calm when your child is having a sensory overload/meltdown in public. I try to remain calm most of the time but just about every time it happens it takes alot from me to not have a panic attack. I still work with him and If I cant calm him down we leave.Do any of you ever feel/felt like this ?
by on Aug. 29, 2014 at 2:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
reyna09
by Member on Aug. 29, 2014 at 2:37 PM
Bump
ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Aug. 29, 2014 at 2:43 PM

Oh definitely. I can feel my anxiety rise before a meltdown even occurs when I see something coming our way that could trigger one.

There was one instance where I knew there was no way I could calm my daughter down in the store .... luckily we didn't need anything there, just looking around ..... so I picked my daughter up kicking and crying and practically ran out of the store. I knew she'd be okay once we moved to a new environment but there was no way in heck to get her to calm down in that one, so we were gone. So many people stared at me carrying a kicking child, hauling butt out the store but on that particular occasion there wasn't anything else I could do.

Luckily most of the time I can just move us to another area of the store and that's enough to help calm her down. And some stores I simply won't take her in anymore ..... it's just not worth the risk.

Hugs mama .... all I do to remain calm is remember if we're offending someone else then they just don't understand and they are not worth my time. I quickly assess the severity of what's going on ..... is this something that we can get under control and continue being in that place or do we need to drop what's going on and leave. If I'm doing something that absolutely has to get done, I make that my only priority so it will be done in as little time as possible and I have a lot lower risk of dealing with a meltdown.

Logansmom1999
by Kristina on Aug. 29, 2014 at 2:53 PM

Logan rarely has meltdowns in public. But when he does, I'm in trouble. He is taller than me and outweighs me so there is no picking him up and leaving. I try to leave him at home whenever possible. When he does start to rev up in public, we leave before anything escalates.

Most of his meltdowns (almost daily) happen in school and they medicate him when he starts to get agitated. They claim there is no identifiable trigger but something is amiss there. This just started happening last fall.

At home, as long as he is in a safe place, I let him meltdown and get it out of his system. This is rare.

reyna09
by Member on Aug. 29, 2014 at 2:57 PM
Im glad im not the only one I have anxiety to begin with so even on the way to some places im already on edge. Its gotten worse since I had the cops called on me. We were outside of a friends house.My son was trying to run off so I was trying my best to hold him and distract him. I have trouble carrying him but it wasn't working so when my best friend showed up I asked her if we could take him for a drive and he then refused to get into the car so I was back to holding him while sitting on the ground and next thing I know theres a cop. I broke down in tears. It was the worst feeling ever. I try my best to keep shopping trips short and I almost never go alone with him just in case. I just wish I could keep calm for him.

Quoting ineedcoffeemom:

Oh definitely. I can feel my anxiety rise before a meltdown even occurs when I see something coming our way that could trigger one.

There was one instance where I knew there was no way I could calm my daughter down in the store .... luckily we didn't need anything there, just looking around ..... so I picked my daughter up kicking and crying and practically ran out of the store. I knew she'd be okay once we moved to a new environment but there was no way in heck to get her to calm down in that one, so we were gone. So many people stared at me carrying a kicking child, hauling butt out the store but on that particular occasion there wasn't anything else I could do.

Luckily most of the time I can just move us to another area of the store and that's enough to help calm her down. And some stores I simply won't take her in anymore ..... it's just not worth the risk.

Hugs mama .... all I do to remain calm is remember if we're offending someone else then they just don't understand and they are not worth my time. I quickly assess the severity of what's going on ..... is this something that we can get under control and continue being in that place or do we need to drop what's going on and leave. If I'm doing something that absolutely has to get done, I make that my only priority so it will be done in as little time as possible and I have a lot lower risk of dealing with a meltdown.

reyna09
by Member on Aug. 29, 2014 at 3:02 PM
My son doesn't have them.much at home mostly when we ho out. Hes hard to carry because hes heavy and hits me sometimes. When were hime I do the same I just let him have the meltdown.im nervous about how he will be in his new school. It seems like a good fit but my little brother who is on the spectrum had alot of trouble with this school my mom had to get a lawyer. They put him on meds as well. Im hoping he likes this one as much as he did his last one.

Quoting Logansmom1999:

Logan rarely has meltdowns in public. But when he does, I'm in trouble. He is taller than me and outweighs me so there is no picking him up and leaving. I try to leave him at home whenever possible. When he does start to rev up in public, we leave before anything escalates.

Most of his meltdowns (almost daily) happen in school and they medicate him when he starts to get agitated. They claim there is no identifiable trigger but something is amiss there. This just started happening last fall.

At home, as long as he is in a safe place, I let him meltdown and get it out of his system. This is rare.

wildchild.com
by Janine on Aug. 29, 2014 at 5:47 PM
Of course! It's tough when our kids have meltdowns. My son is 9 & over the years I have learned to block out the stares & comments. If I can't calm him down we leave. (((Hugs)))
reyna09
by Member on Aug. 29, 2014 at 5:56 PM
I try my best too. I just find it hard. We usually end up leaving. Its just the easiest thing for us to do.

Quoting wildchild.com: Of course! It's tough when our kids have meltdowns. My son is 9 & over the years I have learned to block out the stares & comments. If I can't calm him down we leave. (((Hugs)))
wildchild.com
by Janine on Aug. 29, 2014 at 5:57 PM
I hear ya! Hugs!!!

Quoting reyna09: I try my best too. I just find it hard. We usually end up leaving. Its just the easiest thing for us to do.

Quoting wildchild.com: Of course! It's tough when our kids have meltdowns. My son is 9 & over the years I have learned to block out the stares & comments. If I can't calm him down we leave. (((Hugs)))
tiredmom3067
by Member on Aug. 29, 2014 at 6:47 PM

This happens to us a lot...right now my son is 4 1/2 so I can carry him out of the store..but not before getting all those looks..you know the ones..."your kid is a spoiled brat".."what's wrong with you as a mom"..or at least that's what I feel they are saying. Sometimes I don't stay calm and I end up yelling at my son which scares him into stopping..but then I hate myself after. I've really been trying to ignore what I think others are thinking of me and treat him like I would at home and try to ignore it and let him finish his tantrum..but I know the anxiety well. It's so hard. Hugs mama. Just try to take a deep breath and don't worry about anyone else

tiredmom3067
by Member on Aug. 29, 2014 at 6:50 PM

 Oh mama I'm sorry that happened...I often cry even after it's just regular citizens staring at me..a copy would have made it way worse. Lately I've been trying to make my son wear a braclet he has that says "I have autism"..not that it's anyones dam business but it helps sometimes if people see it then they tent to not judge so much.

Quoting reyna09: Im glad im not the only one I have anxiety to begin with so even on the way to some places im already on edge. Its gotten worse since I had the cops called on me. We were outside of a friends house.My son was trying to run off so I was trying my best to hold him and distract him. I have trouble carrying him but it wasn't working so when my best friend showed up I asked her if we could take him for a drive and he then refused to get into the car so I was back to holding him while sitting on the ground and next thing I know theres a cop. I broke down in tears. It was the worst feeling ever. I try my best to keep shopping trips short and I almost never go alone with him just in case. I just wish I could keep calm for him.
Quoting ineedcoffeemom:

Oh definitely. I can feel my anxiety rise before a meltdown even occurs when I see something coming our way that could trigger one.

There was one instance where I knew there was no way I could calm my daughter down in the store .... luckily we didn't need anything there, just looking around ..... so I picked my daughter up kicking and crying and practically ran out of the store. I knew she'd be okay once we moved to a new environment but there was no way in heck to get her to calm down in that one, so we were gone. So many people stared at me carrying a kicking child, hauling butt out the store but on that particular occasion there wasn't anything else I could do.

Luckily most of the time I can just move us to another area of the store and that's enough to help calm her down. And some stores I simply won't take her in anymore ..... it's just not worth the risk.

Hugs mama .... all I do to remain calm is remember if we're offending someone else then they just don't understand and they are not worth my time. I quickly assess the severity of what's going on ..... is this something that we can get under control and continue being in that place or do we need to drop what's going on and leave. If I'm doing something that absolutely has to get done, I make that my only priority so it will be done in as little time as possible and I have a lot lower risk of dealing with a meltdown.

 

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