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A Realization and Jingle (squeak) Bells (squeak)

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 2:17 PM
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1 mom liked this

My daughter is 13 with ASD, GAD, and major depressive disorder.  She has been in a major depression every year since she was 10.  It usually begins in mid to late October and lasts through the end of May.  Christmas is usually very bad.   This year we switched from the private school (severe bullying) to a public charter hybrid school- 3 days homeschool and 2 days regular school.  She does great at homeschool but regular school is still an emotional struggle.  Now I work at the hybrid school, so I am there and know all the teachers and staff.  One of the teachers has a son with Aspergers and she says my daughter appears to enjoy school and that the other students are very tolerant and understanding of her quirks and oddities (which she has many).  That all sounds great but my daughter is an emotional mess when she gets away from school.  I am very familiar with the stress relief by melting down from the old school.  My daughter says that she is on the verge of depression and feels bad all the time.  So it had me perplexed because she seems to be doing so much better but is still having meltdowns, panic attacks and feels bad.  So my big realization last night was that she is afraid of feeling better, and not being depressed.  I think she really is doing better but she is so used to feeling bad from Oct through May that it is hard to believe that it could be different.  So anyway, that was my little awakening. 

So in between her meltdowns and panic attacks she has moments when she is clearly excited about Christmas and the holidays.  I am going to try to enjoy those moments as much as I can.  So here is a cute story of holiday excitement.  Recently we went to Cosco to pick up a variety of items. My daughter was high on too many cookies from a class party. She was enthralled by the dragon dog toys and started singing Christmas carols accompanied by dragon dog toy squeakers.  It had us in tears laughing and all the passerbys were laughing too.  We left her in the pet dept to finish our shopping (she had her phone if she couldn't find us but we were only two aisles away).  I returned 20 minutes later and she was still there singing away.  She entertained quite a number of shoppers with Christmas carols accompanied by dragon dog toys. I bought her the dragon dog toys.  Our dog wants those toys but my daughter loves dragons and those are her toys not the dog's.  LOL.

 

by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 2:17 PM
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Replies (1-5):
Ralgj
by April on Dec. 20, 2014 at 2:44 PM
How cute! What a funny story! Sounds like she may be cheering up after all!
Charizma77
by Carissa on Dec. 20, 2014 at 9:43 PM

Aw! Love it

Momof4AEMW
by Platinum Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 10:56 PM

Cute!  I hope she lets herself have a great holiday!

magmommy
by Silver Member on Dec. 21, 2014 at 1:46 AM
1 mom liked this
That sounds wonderful and positive.

as a person who has struggled with depression and bipolar since i was16, you are right. We can be scared of being better. We are in control of what we know, even if its sad, rather than dealing with something unknown as happiness. Does that make sense?

I hope you both continue to have a very merry Christmas time!
Lots of love!
TheJerseyGirl
by on Dec. 21, 2014 at 7:45 AM

 What a great story!

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