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I don't know what to do

Posted by on Feb. 4, 2015 at 9:52 PM
  • 9 Replies

I had a meeting with the head of SE and her assistant today about the staus of this search for an out of district placement for Sam. 

We sent Sams info to a few programs. 

We heard back from LT and P. 

LT was not a good fit. 

P was, but it is an hour away. (Maybe more with traffic) 

We were waiting to hear from a few other places. 

I, A, E and PH. 

Today they told me that I's class is full. 

PH is not appropriate, 

A has not responded

E, the teacher is out due to an accident, and they are not accepting new students. 

That leaves nothing... This one school an hour away... This one school that IS a good fit for Sam, BUT, will still leave us without friends, a community, and this school ends in 2 years... And did I mention it is an HOUR away? 

IF you're put into I's A's class or PH you don't have to "fight" for placements.. These programs go thru HS IF you want and the child is doing well... 

I'm just feeling so... Uninformed... How do I decide on a program ONLY seeing 1? Do I ask if I will have a place in Sept? Do I ask if I can see the program even if it is full now? 

Did I only go on 1 date before I got married? Did I look at 1 house before buying? Test drive 1 car? NO!!! 

But I don't know.... Maybe this is just the proof that THIS is the right place? 

Sigh... 

by on Feb. 4, 2015 at 9:52 PM
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Replies (1-9):
MamaLauri
by Silver Member on Feb. 4, 2015 at 10:01 PM

Visit anyway, so you feel comfortable about your decision. If you need to, home-school for a 1/2 a year to get Sam where he needs to be. Best of luck!!!

ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Feb. 4, 2015 at 10:06 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't know what the right answer is for you. I will say though that the summer program I had my daughter in last year, the one that was an hour away with morning traffic (I got lucky sometimes and made it in 40mins) was the best thing I've done for her yet. I did only have to endure the drive for 6 weeks ..... but maybe you can figure out how to make the drive productive for you two. Work on those give and take interactions through conversations in the car. Maybe it could become beloved quality time and you'll create memories you'll never forget.

Like I said, I don't know what is right for you guys. I'm just saying don't let the drive be the reason you say no to the class. IF you can see another class and it's amazing, then go for it ..... but remember if you have to go with this one, it will probably be worth it.

Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Feb. 4, 2015 at 10:07 PM
First, breathe. From what I see on here, you won't stop until you get what sam needs.

Now, I would ask if the schools that are full, or not accepting students, will be available in sept. Then, can you set up a homeschool program for sam till you get a good placement? I know that isn't what you want. Or allow him to go to the school he is now for those short periods of time, (for the break) and give you the academic work he needs to do and you can teach him this at home.

Will he get on the bus to the school that is so far away? Traveling that much each day is crazy. Can you set it up to get on a waiting list with the other schools (of course after you visit and see if they are good for sam)? Put him in the further away school just until there is an opening somewhere else. Atleast he would be getting some educational needs met.

Big hugs!
Momof4AEMW
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2015 at 10:12 PM

I would request to view the other schools even if full.  What if they are the one and in Sept they would be open?  If so, can they reserve a spot?  OR you view them, you don't like them, and it confirms the hour away one is the one.  I think it is good to find out what it is you don't know about the other schools as it may make your choice clear.  It's also mid year, of course they are full.  You want the 'right' placement, not the 'right now' placement.

jennymoon4
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2015 at 11:33 PM

It doesn't sound like you have enough information to make a confident choice yet.  Is it possible to view a couple of the closer programs on a tour?  It wouldn't be for the placement this year, but would be for the future.  Most schools around her (non-public) will meet with prospective parents and provide a tour. It seems like that may be helpful for you. As far as the drive, that will definitely be a change to your life, but you may find the drive worth the time and effort if it helps Sam.  It's certainly not ideal, but maybe you could find "me" time activities for yourself to do in the new area at least 3 of the school days each week so that you have something to look forward to doing and aren't driving for 4 hours each day!

solen
by VintageMom on Feb. 4, 2015 at 11:56 PM

This is what we did!  When we had an hour and a half drive, we would often listen to NPR ( if subject was appropriate) or the news and discuss the issues.  Then, our deal was when we hit traffic  which was inevitable here in southern CA......we would turn ont the hits station and rock it out in my Mini Cooper!  We have Sirius radio, my husband bought me the mini for the commute, I put an angry birds pillow and blanket in the back seat for my son....always had water bottles, etc for the drive.  It really was fun .....but in your case, what would concern me the most is that if the program is only two years, what then?  Where does he go....driving for two years, there is an end in sight, but if it makes it harder to get into the local placements?

so check the other places out, even if they are " full" ( things change)  get on waiting list if program closer looks good.

one reason we ended up moving is that where my son is now goes through high school.  Other schools that end at 6th or 8th grade left me with the feeling of " where next?"  His school now doesn't leave me with that question.  But I reseached and visited schools and spent many sleepless nights and always circling back to this school....always....so I knew.

Quoting ineedcoffeemom:

I don't know what the right answer is for you. I will say though that the summer program I had my daughter in last year, the one that was an hour away with morning traffic (I got lucky sometimes and made it in 40mins) was the best thing I've done for her yet. I did only have to endure the drive for 6 weeks ..... but maybe you can figure out how to make the drive productive for you two. Work on those give and take interactions through conversations in the car. Maybe it could become beloved quality time and you'll create memories you'll never forget.

Like I said, I don't know what is right for you guys. I'm just saying don't let the drive be the reason you say no to the class. IF you can see another class and it's amazing, then go for it ..... but remember if you have to go with this one, it will probably be worth it.


SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Feb. 5, 2015 at 4:48 AM

We got a puppy in Septemeber, so I be tome home, staying there isn't an option ca of her,land lucky me, she gets car sick.. Lol... AND is a chewer.. (She might eat a car set..(my dad's dogs did this in his car! Ha!) 

i could maybe hire a dog walker... Because really, the 4 hours of driving for 6 hours of school seems crazy! And I'll never get anything done! Lol... 

Eventually, I'd love to get Sam use to a bus... He hasn't done a us since first grade.. (But that was 15 minutes) and with a kid who was picking on him. I'd be hopeful tht no one else was going to P from here... And maybe he would have HS own transport?  Still a stranger in the car... (Sam hates 1:1 with strangers...) the bus driver would need to be QUIET! ha! And it would only be 1 way (to get home... )incentive, right?) but you're right, I'm not confident in this choice simply based on distance... 

When we went to visit the school, OUR district had a 3 hr delay for snow.. They started on time... (Weather patters are quite different closer to the city) it just seems so far... We got 4" of snow... They got nothing... 

Quoting jennymoon4:

It doesn't sound like you have enough information to make a confident choice yet.  Is it possible to view a couple of the closer programs on a tour?  It wouldn't be for the placement this year, but would be for the future.  Most schools around her (non-public) will meet with prospective parents and provide a tour. It seems like that may be helpful for you. As far as the drive, that will definitely be a change to your life, but you may find the drive worth the time and effort if it helps Sam.  It's certainly not ideal, but maybe you could find "me" time activities for yourself to do in the new area at least 3 of the school days each week so that you have something to look forward to doing and aren't driving for 4 hours each day!


darbyakeep45
by Darby on Feb. 5, 2015 at 6:00 AM
Take a deep breath mama. What does your husband think?
SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Feb. 5, 2015 at 7:34 AM
My husband loves the school; but he wont be doing any of the driving; he is leaving it up to me since its 4 hrs of my day in the car.

Quoting darbyakeep45: Take a deep breath mama. What does your husband think?
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