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Knots in stomach *update in blue

Posted by on Mar. 16, 2015 at 9:57 AM
  • 16 Replies

 The diagnostician called me today and wanted clarification on why I wanted testing. For cognition, she wanted to know what things I was seeing that made me feel my daughter has shown an improvement in her cognitive skills. I told her several things I'd seen and she said those were very good things and agreed Cheyanne is showing some cognitive progress, but felt Cheyanne needs another year before her cognitive level could accurately be measured.

For speech, she said I'm getting progress reports from the teacher and speech therapist and so that is showing me the progress Cheyanne is making (I said I wanted her re-evaluated to accurately assess her progress). This is where I got to say, NO, I HAVEN'T received any notes or any communication from the speech therapist whatsoever! The same goes for the OT! So she is going to contact them and have them contact me. She was like, is that better? And then I said I really wanted these evals to show that she IS making progress cognitivtely, yet her speech is not showing anywhere near that progress and so I feel she needs direct speech therapy, not just a consult. The diagonistician then says their therapists usually inform the school when they feel the students need more services. I said, the speech therapist DID say Cheyanne needed direct services at the beginning of the year! She said, oh. So she is going to also speak to the speech therapist about this and said we might schedule an ARD to add direct services!

Soooooo .... not everything I wanted, but hopefully still getting something Cheyanne definitely needs!

The ABA supervisor came out today and I told her everything. I also said though that I really still think Cheyanne's cognitive level should be re-evaluated. She agreed and so I think I will tell them again at the 1 year point. They can refuse right now because it hasn't been a year yet. But the diag wants to wait til the 2 year point. 


Please wish things go smoothly over the next few weeks. I have submitted a request to the principal for re-evaluations (always better to ask for testing that proves services are needed than to request the services themselves). I've also requested whatever documents the OT is keeping on my daughter as I've been given ZERO information of what she's worked on with my child all year.

I also requested a parent-teacher conference to once again explain I need some sort of information about what my daughter does at school during the day .... at the very least, I need to know if she's EVER successfully gone in the potty at school as we are trying to gear up and really work on potty training again.

I feel like I just threw alot out there at once and my stomach is in knots. I have anxiety issues as it is, and this spring break week was hell. My body feels like sh*t right now and instead of relaxing, I feel like I'm jumping in the lion pit because I don't want to waste anymore time allowing the school to slack off in what they should be doing for my child.


So any words of encouragement, wisdom, advice on how to relax and properly pace myself through this. Once I decide to do something, I just throw my entire self into it and don't know how to come up for air. And that sends me on the verge of panic attacks. Ack! I need a handbook on life. :(

by on Mar. 16, 2015 at 9:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 10:38 AM
Breathe!!!!! Tense everything --- squeeze tight--- then release--- BREATHE!
Chey will feel if youre tense. Model calm, relaxed.
All you did was ask for information. You have questions and concerns. Great!!! Why be nervous? Why worry?
There is NO room in your head and heart for worry AND faith... So KNOW you have faith... Let the worry go.
Cheys evals WILL show she needs help. All of us here at CM will pray- (so uve got a lot in your corner) and right is on your side!!

I know this is going to be fine....

Im so sorry you had a hellish week. :(
amonkeymom
by Amy on Mar. 16, 2015 at 11:46 AM

fingers crossed

MamaLauri
by Silver Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:53 PM
1 mom liked this

Hugs. You need a supportive team! The law makes more than what you have been given your right. Document your interactions with the current team. Send this to their supervisors explaining in a positive manner what you are looking for, and ask how you go about getting it.

Gloria1025
by Silver Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 2:48 PM

I am a worrier so I know how you feel.  My husband always tells me that "worrying" is a waste of energy and not productive and tells me I need to use it and turn it into "action".  You have taken action - you have asked for evaluations etc. so think about it that way and see if you can decrease your worrying because you will need your energy for your next "action" - taking her for evaluations, preparing for the meetings etc.  You are doing a great job!  Keep it up!

magmommy
by Silver Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 3:13 PM
You haven't asked for much. It's what they should do, a reasonable expectation. So don't worry! The rest will come naturally. When they do the evaluations they will know what can best help. I would get some council about what they are legally required to do and sit back, relax and let the process work. I too am highly anxious. I get it. But it's never as bad as what it feels.
ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Mar. 16, 2015 at 4:37 PM
1 mom liked this

Thanks. You're right. I need faith right now and nothing else :)

I've been reverting back to my overly-anxious ways ..... and it's not all about Cheyanne's school stuff. I guess I'm just focusing my anxieties about everything going on right now all on her school. I just sooooo want to make this right for her. 

I feel a bit better now that the teacher has already replied to me. She emailed the diagnostician and will be talking to her in person this week about me wanting re-evals. And a really good thing ..... her teacher told me she seemed like a different child today and I'm like, yes, exactly! That's why I specifically requested cognitive testing as well as speech. I think she's actually improved in cognition !!!! :D   If that shows through the assessment, then I think that's proof she should have made more progress in other areas of development, such as speech.

Quoting SamMom912: Breathe!!!!! Tense everything --- squeeze tight--- then release--- BREATHE! Chey will feel if youre tense. Model calm, relaxed. All you did was ask for information. You have questions and concerns. Great!!! Why be nervous? Why worry? There is NO room in your head and heart for worry AND faith... So KNOW you have faith... Let the worry go. Cheys evals WILL show she needs help. All of us here at CM will pray- (so uve got a lot in your corner) and right is on your side!! I know this is going to be fine.... Im so sorry you had a hellish week. :(


ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Mar. 16, 2015 at 6:59 PM

I worry much more than I should because I fear failure. I fear being wrong. I'm afraid they're going to tell me I shouldn't be asking for such things. That I'm over-stepping my boundaries or something. I think I have boudary issues because my mom was a very very authoritarian parent. It was her way, always, no reasons why, no questions asked. It made me feel I couldn't question others even when they were wrong.

I've matured alot since then, but any time I ask questions and want to know more, I feel that fear that I shouldn't be asking.

Thanks for the encouragement. The teacher was quick to reply and said she would be discussing with the diagnostician my request for evals. I felt alot less anxious after I got her email.

Quoting Gloria1025:

I am a worrier so I know how you feel.  My husband always tells me that "worrying" is a waste of energy and not productive and tells me I need to use it and turn it into "action".  You have taken action - you have asked for evaluations etc. so think about it that way and see if you can decrease your worrying because you will need your energy for your next "action" - taking her for evaluations, preparing for the meetings etc.  You are doing a great job!  Keep it up!


ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Mar. 16, 2015 at 7:21 PM

I don't think counsel is needed at this point. I just have a fear of authority, so questioning things the school is doing for my child is just scary for me. Even asking of small things feel like mountains to me. So the very thought of asking for something that might be met with resistance is overwhelming to me. 

Thank you so much for reminding me though that what I'm asking is reasonable. I'm not expecting something outlandish. Nobody should be offended by what I'm asking for.

Quoting magmommy: You haven't asked for much. It's what they should do, a reasonable expectation. So don't worry! The rest will come naturally. When they do the evaluations they will know what can best help. I would get some council about what they are legally required to do and sit back, relax and let the process work. I too am highly anxious. I get it. But it's never as bad as what it feels.


magmommy
by Silver Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 9:23 PM
Quoting ineedcoffeemom:

I don't think counsel is needed at this point. I just have a fear of authority, so questioning things the school is doing for my child is just scary for me. Even asking of small things feel like mountains to me. So the very thought of asking for something that might be met with resistance is overwhelming to me. 

Thank you so much for reminding me though that what I'm asking is reasonable. I'm not expecting something outlandish. Nobody should be offended by what I'm asking for.

Quoting magmommy: You haven't asked for much. It's what they should do, a reasonable expectation. So don't worry! The rest will come naturally. When they do the evaluations they will know what can best help. I would get some council about what they are legally required to do and sit back, relax and let the process work. I too am highly anxious. I get it. But it's never as bad as what it feels.

no, no one should be offended. these are the basics. I totally get being overwhelmed with the resistance. I'm like that too, but I have prepared carefully before my meetings and have my husband or our casemanger with me. Still, our school has gotten this huge conference table that is the bar hight chairs and it feels full and thick (if that makes sense). We are invited to sit at the end of this monstrosity where people we already lined up like a board meeting. there is there principal, the asst principal, his teachers: math, language arts, and science/ social studies. Then there is the psychologist, there special ed teacher, the 504/ iep overseer. And then us. So intimidating! I have to remind myself I have the ultimate authority and when it comes down to it, they have to have the ok from us.
Momof4AEMW
by Platinum Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 9:54 PM

Hugs!  I have a lot of anxiety too, and I understand how it can spiral into irrational levels quickly.  Breathe.  It will be ok.  You have every right to ask for what you did.  Hoping it all works out!

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