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I guess I'm not fine??

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2015 at 8:53 PM
  • 25 Replies

I'm a pretty positive person.  I just take what we're dealt and move forward.  I'm happy and blessed with the kids I have.  It doesn't mean I don't get tired, stressed, overwhelmed, but I just get up and do it again the next day.  What choice do I have?  Today my day was halted by high BP.  I was dizzy and couldn't stay awake.  I was literally shut down today.  I've had it since my last pregnancy that never resolved, and I take daily meds.  We all know taking care of us is hard, and I need to make myself a better priority.  The stress and anxiety just get my body even if my mind holds strong.

So I'm talking to our ABA today about it and tell her I don't get it, I don't even feel stressed today.  I wasn't having an anxiety day.  We had a calm, stress free weekend.  She asked if I'm just burnt from the 11 extra appointments the kids had in the last two weeks.  I'm like, no, just tired.  She asks if I'm nervous about son's EEG this week.  I say no, but I need to get ready for that.  She asks if I'm stressed about the 4 conferences this week.  I say no, but I should be thinking about those.  She asks if I'm stressed about oldest going through some tough tween mental health concerns.  I'm like, yea, but not even thinking about it today.  She asks if I'm stressed about hubs upcoming layoff or kids losing services Jan 1.  I'm like, no, not today.  She's like, do you want me to go on, lol?  Then I realize, ok all she just listed, even if I'm not thinking about it, it's there.  And I guess I'm not fine.  Ugh!  Now how to get fine...

by on Oct. 26, 2015 at 8:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:15 PM
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Holy crapola I have no idea how you can do all of that!!!! Your upbeat positive personality is what has kept you afloat thus far that's for sure. One thing about the high bp, have you considered taking the supplement CoQ10? I took it during my pregnancy as a natural way to lower my bp as I was at risk for pre-eclampsia at the end of my pregnancy. It worked well and is a vitamin supplement. I'm making my husband start take it now as he is suffering from high bp.

What is the news on dh's layoff? You won't know they will lose their services if he gets another job soon right???? I'm stressed about loss of services, but not from a layoff ....... the private insurance policy we bought for Cheyanne is turning into an HMO next year, ahhhhhhh ........ so nobody's going to take it.

You need some help, honestly. I know you have spoken about qualifying for respite but not using it. You need to use it. Seriously, just imagine if you had a heart attack and your hubs was left to care for all your children. How do you see that working out? That is what is always motivating me to stay healthy and not go off the deep end ........ I don't see a happy ending for my husband and child if I'm not there to help them.

What are these conferences? Are you active in anything or just trying to learn more? Its great to dig in and learn all you can but I can't imagine retaining enough information at once to make 4 conferences in one week worthwhile. And an EEG????? 

Okay, your life is going to give me a heart attack and you say you don't even feel stressed today. You must compartamentalize really really well ;)

rebecca_new_mom
by Gold Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:18 PM
1 mom liked this
What to even say?! You've got your plate full and spilling over onto the floor with responsibility! Hugs to you! Do you receive any respite? Can anyone step in and give you a break? Why are services ending, do you think any will be extended?
Momof4AEMW
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:26 PM

I have never heard of that supplement or vitamin.  Where do you get something like that?

the layoff and kids losing services are two different things, just happen on the same date.  Yes, we will all lose our primary insurance if hubs is laid off prior to finding a job.  Two or three will still have Medicaid, pending.  The loss in services is due to the Medicaid modernization Iowa is doing.  Probably similar to most states, turning things into HMOs and changing the services/providers covered.  We could use all our ABA, private therapies, specialists, etc.  We have no good information to make decisions, and losing services would be drastically bad for two of my kids present and futures.

respite, problem is providers don't have qualified workers to take care of my kids.  Their words, not just mine.  Means no help.  

Conferences are my 4 kids school conferences, lol.  Not "conferences" for recreation.  EEG, son may be having seizures.

And yes, your fears are my fears in leaving this life early.  That is not an option!

Quoting ineedcoffeemom:

Holy crapola I have no idea how you can do all of that!!!! Your upbeat positive personality is what has kept you afloat thus far that's for sure. One thing about the high bp, have you considered taking the supplement CoQ10? I took it during my pregnancy as a natural way to lower my bp as I was at risk for pre-eclampsia at the end of my pregnancy. It worked well and is a vitamin supplement. I'm making my husband start take it now as he is suffering from high bp.

What is the news on dh's layoff? You won't know they will lose their services if he gets another job soon right???? I'm stressed about loss of services, but not from a layoff ....... the private insurance policy we bought for Cheyanne is turning into an HMO next year, ahhhhhhh ........ so nobody's going to take it.

You need some help, honestly. I know you have spoken about qualifying for respite but not using it. You need to use it. Seriously, just imagine if you had a heart attack and your hubs was left to care for all your children. How do you see that working out? That is what is always motivating me to stay healthy and not go off the deep end ........ I don't see a happy ending for my husband and child if I'm not there to help them.

What are these conferences? Are you active in anything or just trying to learn more? Its great to dig in and learn all you can but I can't imagine retaining enough information at once to make 4 conferences in one week worthwhile. And an EEG????? 

Okay, your life is going to give me a heart attack and you say you don't even feelj stressed today. You must compartamentalize really really well ;)


ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:33 PM
1 mom liked this

You can get Co Q 10 at basically any drugstore. I would check with your dr to make sure it wouldn't interfere with your prescription medication first.

School conferences makes more sense. And I can see how those would be stressful!!

I'm so sorry about the medicaid changes .... yes, just like what we're dealing with with the private insurance. I think the insurance company saw how much they had to pay this year and said whoa, we're not doing that again!

Quoting Momof4AEMW:

I have never heard of that supplement or vitamin.  Where do you get something like that?

the layoff and kids losing services are two different things, just happen on the same date.  Yes, we will all lose our primary insurance if hubs is laid off prior to finding a job.  Two or three will still have Medicaid, pending.  The loss in services is due to the Medicaid modernization Iowa is doing.  Probably similar to most states, turning things into HMOs and changing the services/providers covered.  We could use all our ABA, private therapies, specialists, etc.  We have no good information to make decisions, and losing services would be drastically bad for two of my kids present and futures.

respite, problem is providers don't have qualified workers to take care of my kids.  Their words, not just mine.  Means no help.  

Conferences are my 4 kids school conferences, lol.  Not "conferences" for recreation.  EEG, son may be having seizures.

And yes, your fears are my fears in leaving this life early.  That is not an option!

Quoting ineedcoffeemom:

Holy crapola I have no idea how you can do all of that!!!! Your upbeat positive personality is what has kept you afloat thus far that's for sure. One thing about the high bp, have you considered taking the supplement CoQ10? I took it during my pregnancy as a natural way to lower my bp as I was at risk for pre-eclampsia at the end of my pregnancy. It worked well and is a vitamin supplement. I'm making my husband start take it now as he is suffering from high bp.

What is the news on dh's layoff? You won't know they will lose their services if he gets another job soon right???? I'm stressed about loss of services, but not from a layoff ....... the private insurance policy we bought for Cheyanne is turning into an HMO next year, ahhhhhhh ........ so nobody's going to take it.

You need some help, honestly. I know you have spoken about qualifying for respite but not using it. You need to use it. Seriously, just imagine if you had a heart attack and your hubs was left to care for all your children. How do you see that working out? That is what is always motivating me to stay healthy and not go off the deep end ........ I don't see a happy ending for my husband and child if I'm not there to help them.

What are these conferences? Are you active in anything or just trying to learn more? Its great to dig in and learn all you can but I can't imagine retaining enough information at once to make 4 conferences in one week worthwhile. And an EEG????? 

Okay, your life is going to give me a heart attack and you say you don't even feelj stressed today. You must compartamentalize really really well ;)


Momof4AEMW
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:34 PM

Oh, and sorry about Chey's insurance policy.  That sucks.  We fought so hard to get our kids what they need, and they may lose what they need.  Sucks!  Hugs.

Quoting ineedcoffeemom:

Holy crapola I have no idea how you can do all of that!!!! Your upbeat positive personality is what has kept you afloat thus far that's for sure. One thing about the high bp, have you considered taking the supplement CoQ10? I took it during my pregnancy as a natural way to lower my bp as I was at risk for pre-eclampsia at the end of my pregnancy. It worked well and is a vitamin supplement. I'm making my husband start take it now as he is suffering from high bp.

What is the news on dh's layoff? You won't know they will lose their services if he gets another job soon right???? I'm stressed about loss of services, but not from a layoff ....... the private insurance policy we bought for Cheyanne is turning into an HMO next year, ahhhhhhh ........ so nobody's going to take it.

You need some help, honestly. I know you have spoken about qualifying for respite but not using it. You need to use it. Seriously, just imagine if you had a heart attack and your hubs was left to care for all your children. How do you see that working out? That is what is always motivating me to stay healthy and not go off the deep end ........ I don't see a happy ending for my husband and child if I'm not there to help them.

What are these conferences? Are you active in anything or just trying to learn more? Its great to dig in and learn all you can but I can't imagine retaining enough information at once to make 4 conferences in one week worthwhile. And an EEG????? 

Okay, your life is going to give me a heart attack and you say you don't even feel stressed today. You must compartamentalize really really well ;)


rebecca_new_mom
by Gold Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:35 PM
1 mom liked this
The social worker from our regional center set up respite for my son. If you have a similar arrangement, I'd complain. Respite is there to give you a break and it is unacceptable they won't care for your qualifying children! I know respite wouldn't give you total relief, but it would help some. I hope better news comes your way soon......you deserve it!
Momof4AEMW
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:38 PM

We qualify for respite but the providers don't have people capable to meet my kids extensive needs.  We have grandparents that help watch some, but normally they are watching a couple of them while I am at appointments with the others, not really a break.  

Iowa medicaid is going thru a modernization.  So all services are in question, ABA, therapies, doctors, dentists, specialists, medicines, medical equipment, respite, and consumer living services.  The rumors we are hearing are very bad.

Quoting rebecca_new_mom: What to even say?! You've got your plate full and spilling over onto the floor with responsibility! Hugs to you! Do you receive any respite? Can anyone step in and give you a break? Why are services ending, do you think any will be extended?


Momof4AEMW
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:40 PM

Thanks.

Quoting rebecca_new_mom: The social worker from our regional center set up respite for my son. If you have a similar arrangement, I'd complain. Respite is there to give you a break and it is unacceptable they won't care for your qualifying children! I know respite wouldn't give you total relief, but it would help some. I hope better news comes your way soon......you deserve it!


Momof4AEMW
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:48 PM

Personally I'd like to skip conferences this week!  Two of them need goal rewrites, and they always spring crap on me when I'm alone and not in an IEP with the personal team I take.  I joked with my ABA I want her to go in my place, and I'll stay home with the kids.  Lol.  Ugh, really don't want to deal.

Quoting ineedcoffeemom:

You can get Co Q 10 at basically any drugstore. I would check with your dr to make sure it wouldn't interfere with your prescription medication first.

School conferences makes more sense. And I can see how those would be stressful!!

I'm so sorry about the medicaid changes .... yes, just like what we're dealing with with the private insurance. I think the insurance company saw how much they had to pay this year and said whoa, we're not doing that again!

Quoting Momof4AEMW:

I have never heard of that supplement or vitamin.  Where do you get something like that?

the layoff and kids losing services are two different things, just happen on the same date.  Yes, we will all lose our primary insurance if hubs is laid off prior to finding a job.  Two or three will still have Medicaid, pending.  The loss in services is due to the Medicaid modernization Iowa is doing.  Probably similar to most states, turning things into HMOs and changing the services/providers covered.  We could use all our ABA, private therapies, specialists, etc.  We have no good information to make decisions, and losing services would be drastically bad for two of my kids present and futures.

respite, problem is providers don't have qualified workers to take care of my kids.  Their words, not just mine.  Means no help.  

Conferences are my 4 kids school conferences, lol.  Not "conferences" for recreation.  EEG, son may be having seizures.

And yes, your fears are my fears in leaving this life early.  That is not an option!

Quoting ineedcoffeemom:

Holy crapola I have no idea how you can do all of that!!!! Your upbeat positive personality is what has kept you afloat thus far that's for sure. One thing about the high bp, have you considered taking the supplement CoQ10? I took it during my pregnancy as a natural way to lower my bp as I was at risk for pre-eclampsia at the end of my pregnancy. It worked well and is a vitamin supplement. I'm making my husband start take it now as he is suffering from high bp.

What is the news on dh's layoff? You won't know they will lose their services if he gets another job soon right???? I'm stressed about loss of services, but not from a layoff ....... the private insurance policy we bought for Cheyanne is turning into an HMO next year, ahhhhhhh ........ so nobody's going to take it.

You need some help, honestly. I know you have spoken about qualifying for respite but not using it. You need to use it. Seriously, just imagine if you had a heart attack and your hubs was left to care for all your children. How do you see that working out? That is what is always motivating me to stay healthy and not go off the deep end ........ I don't see a happy ending for my husband and child if I'm not there to help them.

What are these conferences? Are you active in anything or just trying to learn more? Its great to dig in and learn all you can but I can't imagine retaining enough information at once to make 4 conferences in one week worthwhile. And an EEG????? 

Okay, your life is going to give me a heart attack and you say you don't even feelj stressed today. You must compartamentalize really really well ;)



SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Oct. 27, 2015 at 2:51 AM
1 mom liked this
Wow.... That IS a LOT!! And sure... 1,2,3 things sit in the background of our mind... And we just go forward... Cause, thats what we do... But 6,7,8,9, 12 things weighing heavy on your mind (and heart)... That IS too much.

Would it be awful to push off those goal meetings? I know youre thinking... Eh go get them over with... But really, that is ALOT especially after last week... :(

Its so hard taking care of ourselves. We fall last because we are willing to not do for us.. And we so dont want to let (and cant let) anyone down.

Please try to take some extra minutes for yourself because like Brittaney said... They DO need you... And pacing yourself through this marathon of parenthood is important. Its a long haul... (With lots of love) but long...

Plus, no pressure, but we need you here! Lol!!

Wish Iowa was not so far. :( hugs!
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