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Saying Bye!

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 1:53 AM
  • 15 Replies
1 mom liked this

Our aba therapist has been trying to get my son to say bye. I never felt this was an issue before we started aba, he needed reminders at times but did say it. It seems like it has become an issue now. I think the therapist gave saying bye a lot of importance. Since that day its been "i dont want to say bye". He tried promising him a reward the next time he comes, no luck. My son asks "why does he have to say bye? why do people say bye". Now he is making it a point not to say bye to anybody. He cut grandma on facetime without saying bye. Ahh...sometimes I wonder what is the correct method of getting him compliant. The therapist seems to get brain fried by the end of the session. Today he tells my son "But then why do you say hi to me when I come, that is also a greeting like bye". So I pressume now by son will stop saying hi too.!!! The therapist is trying his best, but it's just how my son's mind works.

by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 1:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MixedCooke
by Group Admin on Apr. 8, 2016 at 2:42 AM

surrender  I would ask the ABA therapist to just refocus on something else and just continue to say bye and it just may become a habit again.

Gloria1025
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:31 AM
1 mom liked this
My son is like this too and things need to have a reason. He did the same thing when his therapist was trying to get him to say "good morning" to teachers and staff at school. She never gave him a reason why and it became a power struggle. Once I found out about this and he asked me why he needed to say it I explained how it makes people feel welcome and happy etc. and he said OK and the problem went away and he started saying it. I feel like therapists can get so caught up in what they are trying to do they forget they are working with a living thinking being.
Ralgj
by April on Apr. 8, 2016 at 6:33 AM
If he doesn't understand then I would ask her to back off of working on it for awhile. There are other things they can work on. Maybe just model it at appropriate times and go from there.
SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 8:29 AM
What about simply setting tge expectation.
When ABA says goidbye you need to say Bye back?
If he questions simply say "sometimes we do things because its right."
If he says he doesnt WANT to... Could you draw parallels for him thru the day of things we all do; but dont want to? Have to's or must do's as opposed to "want to".?
MamaLauri
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 10:10 AM

Kids on the spectrum are more conceptual, and not good a memorizing a bunch of confusing social rules that they can't figure out when to apply. He needs a concept/reason so he knows how and when to apply the rule.

perrywinkle
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 10:45 AM
My son likes to control things. For example, he asks for something, but then refuses it so he can be in control. Maybe he is trying to control something. I would back off if it were my son. Let him start saying bye on his own and don't make a big deal.
Charizma77
by Carissa on Apr. 8, 2016 at 12:31 PM
Ashton's therapist wouldn't force but they modeled and would have him repeat it when he was younger and now to this day he will says hi, miss Laura (or whoever he is greeting not just therapists) and goodbye miss Laura. They really pushed him to say the persons name as well. I swear he is the only kid I know who does this lol
Simran81
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 3:07 PM

Yes its become a power struggle. The therapist did tell him I feel sad if you don't say bye to me. Unfortunately, my son does not reciprocate that way, he said "I want you to be sad". We did explain to him its polite and a nice way.

Quoting Gloria1025: My son is like this too and things need to have a reason. He did the same thing when his therapist was trying to get him to say "good morning" to teachers and staff at school. She never gave him a reason why and it became a power struggle. Once I found out about this and he asked me why he needed to say it I explained how it makes people feel welcome and happy etc. and he said OK and the problem went away and he started saying it. I feel like therapists can get so caught up in what they are trying to do they forget they are working with a living thinking being.


Simran81
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 3:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes i will drop a mail to the supervisor.

Quoting Ralgj: If he doesn't understand then I would ask her to back off of working on it for awhile. There are other things they can work on. Maybe just model it at appropriate times and go from there.


Simran81
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 3:10 PM

Yes I can try that. Thanks!

Quoting SamMom912: What about simply setting tge expectation. When ABA says goidbye you need to say Bye back? If he questions simply say "sometimes we do things because its right." If he says he doesnt WANT to... Could you draw parallels for him thru the day of things we all do; but dont want to? Have to's or must do's as opposed to "want to".?


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