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Do you have a plan in place?

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 9:56 AM
  • 13 Replies

Almost two years ago, my DH and I did one of the smartest and scariest things ever. We took legal and financial steps to ensure our youngest child is taken care of should something happen to us. 

My older children are in college and independent adults. When they were younger we didn't really have anything legal set up, but it was understood among all of our family that in the event of our deaths, my wishes were that they would live with and be raised by my parents. 

My DH and I decided that because of our youngest sons needs, we really needed to plan for his future should we not be here to take care of him.  We felt that while my parents can offer support, it would not be fair to expect them to take on the responsibilty of a child with needs at their age no matter how much they may want to. Instead, my sister and BIL willingly and graciously offered to take care of our son, should the need arise.

It was so scary to take those steps because it almost feels like tempting fate, but we knew it  was the smart thing to do.

I got a call today from our attorney just checking in and letting us know that it has been almost two years since we updated all of our paperwork and that we should revisit it in case we need to make changes or revisions. Again, I got that awful feeling in my stomach, almost like testing fate. Luckily we have no changes to make.

Do you have a plan in place for your child/ren whether they have needs or not, just in case you are not able to care for them?

by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 9:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ineedcoffeemom
by Brittaney on Sep. 7, 2016 at 9:59 AM

Nothing legal, but it is well understood that if anything happened to me and dh, my parents would take our daughter. They are the only family that can even keep her overnight at this point, so its a no-brainer. And if something were to happen when we got older and my parents were too old to be able to take her, my brother has already said he would take her .... he's 8 years younger than me so he could be there for her for a very long time. 

rebecca_new_mom
by Gold Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:06 AM

Yes, my husband does estate planning. I think what you're doing is great, though not easy to think about, I know.

SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:19 AM
We have a will and a financial plan.
My eldest SIL will care for Sam and $$$ (pay) a year for for caring for him.
He will visit my dad, as long as my dad feels he can handle it (he is 70) for 4 weeks (separate) a year.
Thats it. Sam gets all our assets in a trust given out in increments aside from the money my SIL will be paid to care for him.
Rosebud27aj
by Amanda on Sep. 7, 2016 at 2:09 PM

Nothing legal...but my mom will take care of our kids. If she for some reason can't....my sister will take care of our kids. 

Momof4AEMW
by Platinum Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 3:41 PM
We do, but I need to ammend it. I think it only covers my daughter at the time, and we need to cover my son more than we originally thought.
MixedCooke
by Group Admin on Sep. 7, 2016 at 7:43 PM
My Mother and his parents would co-parent. Our eldest would get the house and we would convert our large detached garage into a home for our ASD child so she could still be independent but have family close by.
repetition
by Member on Sep. 8, 2016 at 12:26 AM

No, I can't think of one family member or friend who could take on the challenge of 2 kids with Autism. One of them is severe. I'm not going to ask family or friends, it's too much of a burden. They will probably go in foster care or be wards of the state or whatever you call it when they are adults.

SnortysMom
by Cathleen on Sep. 8, 2016 at 10:54 PM

No, nothing yet. It is something DH and I have talked about. We honestly can't decide if we want my older sister or DH's younger sister to have custody of Aidan if something should happen to us. I know it's something we seriously need to sit down and work out the details. 


LadyAmaranth
by Silver Member on Sep. 9, 2016 at 4:25 PM

Not written down but my mom will take my boys if I pass(since DH is already passed).
However, with the way my oldest is I expect him to go to a group home or such if I die before he's grown because I will not expect nor want my mom to take him and his abusiveness on.
That sounds awful but there just aren't any family members other than my mom to take my boys(two of my sisters live with her so she'd have help) and I would not expect mom to deal with the abuse, I would not fault her at all if she sent him to a home of some kind.

kajira
by Emma on Sep. 9, 2016 at 4:38 PM

We have family who'd take our kids.

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