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So much information at the IEP meeting!!!

Posted by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:01 PM
  • 6 Replies
1 mom liked this
I know this team that works with Nick are really good. They went over the tests. Just like I knew, they accepted the private Evals. Then we went over the educational assessment. She told me how Nick refused most of the writing. That he isn't writing his name correctly. Which he used to but for some reason that we don't know, started writing the a and n backwards. That he is really low in reading and writing and behind his peers. His strongest subject is math but he still is behind because he didn't want to answer addition problems.

We then got into Nicolas' behavior and the different times of the day that the teacher is having issues. The speech therapist thinks Nick plays her with his crying. That he does it to get out of something that's difficult. I half agree. If you can't read his behavior/anxiety then you don't know which it is. So again, I mapped out the small signs that he is having anxiety to look for before pushing him harder. The teacher said that's where she struggles with Nick. She doesn't know when to push and when to backup. Our kids can be so difficult sometimes. His teacher is so nice. She gave me an example that Nick gets 3 coins for doing the 3 steps at math time. And if he does all 3, then he gets 5 minutes of computer time with the para he really likes. Yesterday, he refused to do the math because it was an open number line. He is used to using a number line with numbers but the teacher introduced how to use an open line. He started crying and saying he didn't want to. So she switched it to do one like she just taught and the others he could do the old way. He still refused. But she still gave him his coin. I told her that she shouldn't have given it to him. She asked if it would be ok. I told her that if the point was for him to earn the reward then he does need to earn it. But to be ready for a meltdown the first couple times of he doesn't get his way.

Then we talked about the bus. I told them that it has come to the point that I need them to help. He's refusing the bus and has been doing it a couple times a week. So our plan is to have the bus leave if he refuses to get on. And I take him to school and call them. The principle will come and get Nick from my car and walk him to his class. Hopefully that will show him that he has to go. And if that doesn't work, then we will be doing a reward chart. Where school will be giving reward.

So in the end, he still is eligible for speech, OT, and reading, math, and writing goals. Along with assistive technology that I won't know until they put the IEP together how often.

I just got so much information. The one thing that they didn't like was the communication that I'm pushing. I want to know when he has a crying fit/meltdowns. So that I can be aware and not push as hard at home when he has a hard day. His teacher doesn't like communicating so much negativity. So that's her problem. But I'm sticking to it. I need that info.
by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:01 PM
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Replies (1-6):
mypbandj
by Jen on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:39 PM

Sounds like a productive meeting! His teacher does sound really nice and although I can understand that you need to know what kind of day he has had, it's kind of refreshing that she wants to be positive. I can remember having one specific teacher who was telling me every.single.bad.thing. my kid did. I wanted to know but it became so negative that I dreaded seeing her. I felt like she was nit-picking every little thing he did. I hated it! Maybe should could just give you a little code (like a + or - to indicate whether he had a very good day or a very bad day?? Maybe someone else has some good ideas. 

Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Oct. 27, 2016 at 11:10 PM
I do like the + or -. I will mention it if they don't come up with something. The stuff I am working with at home daily is hard. So when he has a bad day, I won't push as hard.

And I do love this teacher. This is Nicks 2nd year with her. It bothers her to constantly write all negative. She said she would rather stay positive. And I do understand. I also told them that I would like to transition this to Nick communicating his day hisself later on. First I want to figure everything out first.


Quoting mypbandj:

Sounds like a productive meeting! His teacher does sound really nice and although I can understand that you need to know what kind of day he has had, it's kind of refreshing that she wants to be positive. I can remember having one specific teacher who was telling me every.single.bad.thing. my kid did. I wanted to know but it became so negative that I dreaded seeing her. I felt like she was nit-picking every little thing he did. I hated it! Maybe should could just give you a little code (like a + or - to indicate whether he had a very good day or a very bad day?? Maybe someone else has some good ideas. 

magmommy
by Silver Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 11:18 PM
I agree the communication needs to be there. Good to be positive, but we don't need fluff either. We need the reality.

And u r right, the teacher should not have given him the coin. Even if it's modified to the kids level there has to be consistency with that or it is pointless. Sometimes I wonder about why we as parents have to keep the "professionals" in check. :)

Otherwise, sounds good. Way to go mom!
SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Oct. 28, 2016 at 6:59 AM
That is a lot of info.

I also like the idea of teacher just saying Good day.. Challenging Day. Rough day.

As far as the coin scenario goes... Id want him to find a way to earn the coin- even if it means he did something super easy for him... So school is not negative. :( when he doesnt earn coins, he is feeling unsuccessful; that will fuel the not going. So, during a tefusal or difficult task, bottom line is he needs to earn something-- if he stats calm, listens, if he tries.. If he agrees to do an easier task- it ALL needs positive reinforcement. Giving him nothing isnt the answer either...
Its asking too much and these tasks seem like he is being asked to climb Mt.Everest. He isnt going to willingly climb it seems too hard.. So we need to reward him taking steps toward the Mt.

As far as the bus goes... Slippery slope. I think you need a better bus plan. Him refusing the bus- will leave him in your car... Sure, you can drive him NOW- but what about when he is bigger/stronger. What about when he wont stay buckled? What about when he is trying to get out of the car when ur driving?

Does he take a little bus? Or is he on the big bus? Do they have a behaviorist that can write a bus plan? I think you should work on positively reinforcing the bus... He gets on the bus & gets "treat" for bus ride to school. He goes into class gets treat for bus ride to school..
Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Oct. 28, 2016 at 3:16 PM
The problem with the coin is that the teacher has been doing what she can for him to get the coin. She even switches the work so that he doesn't have to finish the work. He just has to do 2-3 problems. (Instead of the 6-8 problems) And this instance she asked for him to do 1 problem the way she taught and he could pick how to complete the other 2. He still refused the problem. So, in this example I told her that I would just not give him the coin if he completely refuse. Knowing nick, he would see it's possible not to get it and he wants the reward, so he probably wouldn't do that again. And I trust the teacher would do whatever she can for him to get it. That's just the way she is.

Quoting SamMom912: That is a lot of info.

I also like the idea of teacher just saying Good day.. Challenging Day. Rough day.

As far as the coin scenario goes... Id want him to find a way to earn the coin- even if it means he did something super easy for him... So school is not negative. :( when he doesnt earn coins, he is feeling unsuccessful; that will fuel the not going. So, during a tefusal or difficult task, bottom line is he needs to earn something-- if he stats calm, listens, if he tries.. If he agrees to do an easier task- it ALL needs positive reinforcement. Giving him nothing isnt the answer either...
Its asking too much and these tasks seem like he is being asked to climb Mt.Everest. He isnt going to willingly climb it seems too hard.. So we need to reward him taking steps toward the Mt.

As far as the bus goes... Slippery slope. I think you need a better bus plan. Him refusing the bus- will leave him in your car... Sure, you can drive him NOW- but what about when he is bigger/stronger. What about when he wont stay buckled? What about when he is trying to get out of the car when ur driving?

Does he take a little bus? Or is he on the big bus? Do they have a behaviorist that can write a bus plan? I think you should work on positively reinforcing the bus... He gets on the bus & gets "treat" for bus ride to school. He goes into class gets treat for bus ride to school..
Nickmom1118
by Nicole on Oct. 28, 2016 at 3:25 PM
I agree with what you are saying about the bus. I emailed the teachers about it today. I think we need to go ahead and start the sticker chart. This will give Nick a reward at school when he gets so many stickers. At the end of the week, they will be giving him some extra reward time. With 3 different choices.

Quoting SamMom912: That is a lot of info.

I also like the idea of teacher just saying Good day.. Challenging Day. Rough day.

As far as the coin scenario goes... Id want him to find a way to earn the coin- even if it means he did something super easy for him... So school is not negative. :( when he doesnt earn coins, he is feeling unsuccessful; that will fuel the not going. So, during a tefusal or difficult task, bottom line is he needs to earn something-- if he stats calm, listens, if he tries.. If he agrees to do an easier task- it ALL needs positive reinforcement. Giving him nothing isnt the answer either...
Its asking too much and these tasks seem like he is being asked to climb Mt.Everest. He isnt going to willingly climb it seems too hard.. So we need to reward him taking steps toward the Mt.

As far as the bus goes... Slippery slope. I think you need a better bus plan. Him refusing the bus- will leave him in your car... Sure, you can drive him NOW- but what about when he is bigger/stronger. What about when he wont stay buckled? What about when he is trying to get out of the car when ur driving?

Does he take a little bus? Or is he on the big bus? Do they have a behaviorist that can write a bus plan? I think you should work on positively reinforcing the bus... He gets on the bus & gets "treat" for bus ride to school. He goes into class gets treat for bus ride to school..
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