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What is the stupidest thing a so called expert has ever said to you

Posted by on Dec. 13, 2017 at 7:54 AM
  • 17 Replies

We have all had the clueless friend or family member who has said things like 

YOU JUST NEED TO DISCIPLINE THAT CHILD

or some other such nonsense...

But what is the stupidest thing that a so called autism expert has ever said to you...

by on Dec. 13, 2017 at 7:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
stepperbepper
by Member on Dec. 13, 2017 at 7:55 AM
1 mom liked this
"You just have to make them do it"
karene999
by Karen on Dec. 13, 2017 at 8:00 AM

Right before we changed schools last before the start of the 2016 school year. The new behavioral specialist that they hired (who never worked in a school setting before, and has NEVER been in charge of a program) said to me in a meeting...

"Let me teach you about your child" I literally held up my hand, to stop him and started counting...OUT LOUD...I got to 10, and started over again...made it to 5 and said FUCK IT and went off...

Listen buddy, I have a MASTERS degree with 18 years of intense field research in that boy. There is NO ONE on this earth who can teach me about that child.

Then I proceeded to spell out exactly how many items he had violated IDEA, and BCBA guidelines...and I might have inferred that his parents were never married...but honestly don't remember I was pretty ticked off at the time.  :-) 

wildchild.com
by Janine on Dec. 13, 2017 at 8:04 AM
1 mom liked this
That my son would never catch up to his peers. One of his nueroligist said this. I wanted to tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine. But instead we're are just proving him wrong! My son is making huge strides!!!
SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Dec. 13, 2017 at 8:55 AM
Oh there are TOO MANY judgey things!


“You better get that Autism thing fixed”
Said by uncle who is a retired teacher so an “expert”

By an expert in our school system when Sam was 5 in regard to Sam wanting to avoid gym class... (45 minutes of 45 kids in a gym- the (As I referred to it) trifecta of crap from a sensory, physical and social perspective.

my smart little man realized all the kids on the sidelines forced to sit out had boots/wrong shoes on. So his brilliant idea was to wear boots every gym day because gym sucks for him.

He has motor planning problems, dyspraxia, low muscle tone, auditory delays, social deficits (when the kids would yell “come on Sam” he thought they were disappointed in his performance- not cheering”
Basically, a lot working against him in that time period.

So, brilliant, boots, problem solved. Sam was crying every morning before school on gym days but not if he wire boots- So I figure, IF he gets out of gym, he is still going to school whats more important?!

Took school 2 months to figure out.
School psychologist told me “Im easily manipulated and coerced by my 5 year old”. Because I was letting him get out of gym.

I made her apologize. “What did you just say to me?” Then I went on to REMIND her what the real picture was.

Oh, my other expert was our pediatrician who told me “I just don’t see it” when I was raising concerns about his behaviors when he was 3.5-4?! Meanwhile, the developmental pediatrician in her OWN group Dxd Sam on the spectrum.
Ummmm, you see him 5-7 minutes every 2-3 months.
I dont think thats YOUR CALL.
After he flipped out in her office and they handled it poorly, I found a new pediatrician.
alexsmommy51405
by Member on Dec. 13, 2017 at 9:06 AM

I LOVE it when people try to tell me about my own kid. 

Or people try to say I should do this or that or whatever when they've never in their life dealt with an Aspergers/ASD kid like we do. 

And inferring that his parents were never married. Hilarious. 

Quoting karene999:

Right before we changed schools last before the start of the 2016 school year. The new behavioral specialist that they hired (who never worked in a school setting before, and has NEVER been in charge of a program) said to me in a meeting...

"Let me teach you about your child" I literally held up my hand, to stop him and started counting...OUT LOUD...I got to 10, and started over again...made it to 5 and said FUCK IT and went off...

Listen buddy, I have a MASTERS degree with 18 years of intense field research in that boy. There is NO ONE on this earth who can teach me about that child.

Then I proceeded to spell out exactly how many items he had violated IDEA, and BCBA guidelines...and I might have inferred that his parents were never married...but honestly don't remember I was pretty ticked off at the time.  :-) 


karene999
by Karen on Dec. 13, 2017 at 11:23 AM
1 mom liked this

sidesplittinglaughter yeah I am the wrong parent to tick off. I also once told them, look I understand that you have never seen me angry before and that up until now I have been nice and sweet, unicorns frolicking on the grass under a rainbow and all that shit, but that is over. Now you have ticked me off, and so the question you have to ask is how important is fighting me over __________ to you. Take a few minutes and let me know if it is really worth it to you, and while you are discussing it I will call my attorney.

Quoting alexsmommy51405:

I LOVE it when people try to tell me about my own kid. 

Or people try to say I should do this or that or whatever when they've never in their life dealt with an Aspergers/ASD kid like we do. 

And inferring that his parents were never married. Hilarious. 

Quoting karene999:

Right before we changed schools last before the start of the 2016 school year. The new behavioral specialist that they hired (who never worked in a school setting before, and has NEVER been in charge of a program) said to me in a meeting...

"Let me teach you about your child" I literally held up my hand, to stop him and started counting...OUT LOUD...I got to 10, and started over again...made it to 5 and said FUCK IT and went off...

Listen buddy, I have a MASTERS degree with 18 years of intense field research in that boy. There is NO ONE on this earth who can teach me about that child.

Then I proceeded to spell out exactly how many items he had violated IDEA, and BCBA guidelines...and I might have inferred that his parents were never married...but honestly don't remember I was pretty ticked off at the time.  :-) 



lady-J-Rock
by Niki on Dec. 14, 2017 at 9:49 PM
But she's so smart and is higher functioning than her peers so we can't justify it even with her sensory needs.
I understand he's smart but we can't justify it because of his sensory needs.

Same district, same board of Ed professionals different excuses as to why they can't change the classroom environment.
MixedCooke
by Group Admin on Dec. 15, 2017 at 2:57 AM

OMG that is EXACTLY what her pediatrician told me when I said that I suspected she had autism! 

Gloria1025
by Silver Member on Dec. 15, 2017 at 6:01 AM
There are so many......

When they tried to tell me that 2 hours a day (5 days a week) in their special ed preschool was more services than the 8 hours of ABA, 3 hours of ST, 5 hrs of OT, 3 hrs PT, and 5 hrs with a special teacher (per week) my son was currently getting. I told them they weren't qualified to teach my son math and they gave me a puzzled look.

When they told me my son didn't qualify for speech therapy even though the evaluator could not understand anything my son tried to say. "Well, he pointed to the correct picture." To which I replied I didn't say he didn't understand, it's that he needs help speaking which is why he needs speech therapy.

When they tried to tell me my son had improved, met his goals and no longer needed services while I was looking at his evaluations which stated he went from exhibiting the desired behaviors 2 out of 10 times (previously had been 5 out of 10), used the correct pronoun 3 out of ten times (had been 6 out of 10 before) know 15 sight words (had been 30 - goal was 50) etc. I told them that I didn't need a lawyer to tell me that their own evaluations showed regression but I was happy to get one. And again, if they thought 2>5, 3>6, and 15>30 or 15=30, that they were not qualified to teach preschool math.
Dragonblue
by New Member on Dec. 15, 2017 at 6:16 AM
1 mom liked this
My son was nonverbal and a tantrumic youngster. They told me to take him out of school he wasn't going to get anything out of it and he was "wasting resources". After two years of preschool and two years of kindergarten he still couldn't even pronounce a letter. I had faith in my son and worked with him.

In first grade he started talking and the summer between first and 2nd he learned over 200 words. All the math we ever taught him (even when we thought he wasn't paying attention) he knew.

It wasn't easy, not a single one of them supported me. I could see improvements so I knew as long as he was improving no matter how tiny we are moving forward.

He is 15 years old now and on the low end of average with his peers. But average with his peers!! Except in math he is far above average in math. An average layperson can't even tell he's on the spectrum. He does have anxiety, and he schools at home now with a tutor because school is too sensory for him. He hasn't had a tantrum in several years he's the most respectful kid. He is doing the same work everyone else is and will graduate with a normal diploma in a couple years.

I can't imagine where he would be now if I listened to their advice to just keep him home and accept that he was nonverbal and hard to deal with.
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