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I’m at a loss of what to do...(kind of long)

Posted by on Feb. 27, 2018 at 7:15 PM
  • 2 Replies
Is the school year over yet? Ben started out the year absolutely awesome. He was in the mainstream classroom and functioned with little assistance. Fall came around, and fall is always hard on him because of allergies and things went down hill fast. They cut him down to attending school for a hour a day because they were seeing him escalate like 10 Minutes after coming in. And we had new behaviors, removing his clothes. I had to pick him up a lot over the fall because he wouldn’t put his clothes back on. Then it got cold and things started getting better. He went almost all December and all January with no issues. Earlier this month we met and made the decision to start extending his time again, starting with an extra half hour. And almost immediately the bottom dropped out. And then Friday happened.

Last Friday I got a call about 9:45 to come get him. When I got there his aide asked if the secretary had told me what happened. She hadn’t and that’s when the aide told me he had peed on the floor and then licked it. Ben has not had a bathroom accident since the day he figured out we wanted him to pee in the toilet. This behavior is beyond anything we see at home. So I didn’t sent him yesterday and it was decided between us, his teacher, and the principal that he would take the week off to regroup and we are meeting with the school next Monday and we will go from there.

So the school thinks his behavior is triggered by a demand being put on him. And partially, I get that, he’s stubborn and likes to do his own thing. But I pulled out the old homeschool books from last year (we homeschooled K and 1st) and started doing work yesterday and today. No problems whatsoever, breezes right through it. And we were thinking he spends an equal amount of time in PT and OT with no issues. Today, he had an evaluation for vision therapy that was pretty intense. Reading, writing, eye tracking exercises, wearing goggles that watch his eyes read, This went on for 3 hours. I’ll admit, he whined a lot and a few things they had to stop and redo but he did them without a meltdown. And I didn’t even mention we would get a surprise at the end. I’m having a really hard time believing the trigger with school is having demands put on him. Because wouldn’t we see that behavior in other instances. I mean you do eye exercises for 3 hours...it was exhausting just watching! As great as the school has been with him, I think we going to go back to homeschooling. I don’t know if he’s allergic to something in the school or what but somethings triggering these behavior, and I don’t think it’s demand...
by on Feb. 27, 2018 at 7:15 PM
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Replies (1-2):
_ethansmommy
by Member on Feb. 27, 2018 at 7:25 PM
Maybe it's the people that work with him. My daughter has never been in the mainstream classroom but her third grade school was terrible. She would get naked and per herself and meltdown the whole time. We cut her school time to just 2 hours. Then fourth grade and a new school comes around and those behaviors started to dissipate. Now she's going for 4 hours. Hasn't taken her clothes off or owed herself in months. Rarely has escalations. Shes doing awesome. So I chalked it up to the people working with her were doing something to trigger her. That and whatever school setting they had. Hope you get it figured out!
SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Feb. 27, 2018 at 10:44 PM
I’m so sorry you’ve been struggling with this. Poor Ben. This must be hard for him. I do think a typical school environment is hard for some kids. The transitions alone... you get in a groove doing something and then have to switch. Its SO repetitive. Not sure what was unfulfilling for Ben in that environment, but it does sound...... toxic.
Plus, you get him. You know him. He trusts you. You know how to talk to him and teach him. I think thats a huge part of learning curriculum.

If you’re looking to reintegrate him at all to school, perhaps just for 1 small favorite part of his day? A preferred class? Even lunch/recess (if he likes that) but to have a routine of just going and not starting at 9, since that didn't work, but maybe the lesson before lunch and then build thru lunch/recess (if those are Ok times?)

I remember our ABA when we were CBT’ing school- small increments, saying going up to too long too fast is a mistake many make. So maybe pick the preferred lesson, do that for 2-3 weeks (barring breaks from school) build around those?

So hard to watch our sweet kids struggle. Big hugs.
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