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Brainstorming...

Posted by on Feb. 28, 2018 at 7:21 AM
  • 2 Replies
Sorry if this post is long. I'm just looking for ideas on how to handle things that keep happening. I'm hoping to get some different perspective..

If your child keeps taking things without asking, I guess stealing is a more appropriate word..

If you child keeps bugging siblings by calling names, teasing them after being asked by siblings and parents to stop Multiple times..

Ripping up/not completing school work because he just doesn't want to do it..

I'm just having so much trouble with these things and Everything we normally do doesn't work. We always chat about what he did and why it's wrong, we've taken away privileges, we praise when he's being good and tell him when we are seeing behavior we want to see.. he doesn't seem to respond to any of it..
by on Feb. 28, 2018 at 7:21 AM
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Replies (1-2):
SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Feb. 28, 2018 at 8:04 AM
Sounds to me like he is just done trying. :( doesnt get him anywhere, giving up?

Putting others down (name calling) is an attempt to pull himself up and feel better. Its a bad idea, cause it doesn’t work, but he is out of ideas. He feels bad. Everyone else should too? Leaking out sadness and Anger.

Self esteem is in the toilet.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AlGw-wDoLr0

That youtube is Dr.Rick Lavoie. He is awesome. He makes the analogy about how self esteem is like poker chips. Playing poker requires chips, cant get in the game without chips. Even if you have 1 chip, youre gonna hold in tught and not risk your chips because you have nothing to lose and fall back on.

Your son, with homework has no chips, nothing left to get in the game. It feels bad to risk being wrong and doesnt feel good enough to be right. :(

Does he see a counselor ? Does her have something that builds him up that he loves?

MistyMoo
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2018 at 9:50 AM
No, he doesn't see a counselor. Although yesterday at his baby brother's well baby appointment I brought this stuff up and the counselor there gave me the information for an agency that offers walk in counseling for children and families two days a week. They can offer us some more regular options if they deem it necessary. We're going to check that out next week. I hoping it can help. I've tried asking him what he needs, what we can do for him to help him, but all I ever get is "I don't know." I'm seriously considering putting him back into the Catholic school next year, he did so well there. He has almost no supports in the public school and I think that is the biggest problem in regards to school work, lack of support and I don't think he knows how or who to ask for help. Thanks k you for the YouTube. I'm going to check it out when I put the baby down for his nap.

Quoting SamMom912: Sounds to me like he is just done trying. :( doesnt get him anywhere, giving up?

Putting others down (name calling) is an attempt to pull himself up and feel better. Its a bad idea, cause it doesn’t work, but he is out of ideas. He feels bad. Everyone else should too? Leaking out sadness and Anger.

Self esteem is in the toilet.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AlGw-wDoLr0

That youtube is Dr.Rick Lavoie. He is awesome. He makes the analogy about how self esteem is like poker chips. Playing poker requires chips, cant get in the game without chips. Even if you have 1 chip, youre gonna hold in tught and not risk your chips because you have nothing to lose and fall back on.

Your son, with homework has no chips, nothing left to get in the game. It feels bad to risk being wrong and doesnt feel good enough to be right. :(

Does he see a counselor ? Does her have something that builds him up that he loves?

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