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My husband has type 1 diabeties...

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 8:57 AM
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Hello,

My name is Debbie and i got married a little over a year ago to my amazing husband, who was diagnosed with type one diabetes when he was 19 - almost 10 years ago. My husband does not like to talk about his condition, his numbers, his highs and lows and most definitely not his depression (which i now know is very much linked to his diabetes). We, thank God just had a baby boy (two weeks ago:) and things with my husband have gotten harder. He has not been feeling well- but because of the baby and my exhaustion, i haven't payed too close attention to his health. This morning (cold December morning) i woke up to find him sweating profusely, lying in bed with basically no clothes on (very unlike him). i asked what was wrong and how his sugars are nd he said " not great", which means that they were way up there in the 3-400's.My husband is 6'5 and weighs 140 pounds, he drops weight because of  his poor sugar management..im so confused and concerned for him/us. i dont know how to help him..  

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 8:57 AM
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Sarahedger
by Group Owner on Dec. 11, 2010 at 4:58 AM

Welcome Debbie!

Well let me start by saying that you are not alone! I think typically men try to hide their diabetic ups and downs from their wives. I think this is for a few reasons one, they don't want to deal with anyone telling them how to manage it better. Two because they want to protect us from the scary realities of diabetes and three because they themselves may want to "pretend" it is better than it is.

There are a few things that you can do. First and foremost Debbie I would talk to him. When the baby is in bed the house is quite make some coffee/tea and have a good sit down at the table. Explain to him that his diabetes is something that should be dealt with as a family. That you want to work with him to control it better. Let him know it is scary when you don't know the reason he is lying on the bed nearly nude and covered in sweat. Really plead your case. I would try (I know it's hard) to keep an even tone voice try not to cry or get worked up even though it can be very overwhelming. Rationalize the situation to him, most guys respond better to logic that the emotional response.  I hope that will get the ball rolling.

Next Debbie he is far too thin! A lot of type ones are underweight. I would have him talk to a nutritionist. My husband many times has had to be put on a "gain" weight diet. This can be a great opportunity for you to seize try going with him. I know energy can be low after having a new baby but this would be a great window to get involved. Numbers that high over time can cause serious damage. Highs are where the term "diabetic complications" come from. Lows are scary at the time but contusions highs do very lasting damage.

Another thing that I would be aware of is that often diabetics hit a wall around 7-10 years. They can just like with anything get fed up with having to manage it. I recently went through this with my husband. It can be a hard obstacle for them. The reality has long sunk in that this is forever and resentment builds. I have titled this stubbornness "the last great act of defiance" if they say FU to the diabetes at least that gives them something, some control. To a nondiabetic it can sound strange but I have seen it a few times and it is a very real phenomenon.  The great thing is that we can (as long as they are open) help them through it. Dealing with diabetes together will create a bond between you two that is amazing. I really don't know how to explain it but I feel a connection with my husband that I know I have just because I have helped him when he is vulnerable.

Okay so here is my dirty little secret. Most wives check there hubbies phones right? Have to get the scoop on what's going on; check the numbers right. Not me nope, I check the meter ;)

Meters have log books in them just look and see what he has been running when he is in the shower. This will give you some insight. When my hubby runs high I pack lunches that are lower in carbs and dinners too. If he is running lower I add an apple or a small slice of banana bread. This is another reason to get to the nutritionist because there is a mathematical formula to managing diabetes, its not fools proof but it will keep him mostly out of the danger zone. Example if he eats X amount of carbs he needs to take X amount of insulin nutritionist can be better at finding this scale that doctors who often don't take enough time with diabetics to plan meals etc.  

I hope some or all of this helps. Congratulation on the baby, what a beautiful time! Please keep us updated we will help any way we can.

Sara

 

 

 

 

frndlyfn
by on Dec. 11, 2010 at 5:50 AM

I am not sure how to help you as my guy has type 2 due to his being overweight. Have you guys been to a doctor or nutritionist to understand what foods would work best with him?  Be wary of coffee and tea since those can raise blood sugar even being plain black with no sugar or milk/cream.  I would definitely let him know that it affects everyone in the family and that you will support him while he gets back on track.  I know of a website that gives sample menu plans if you would like to try that to see if it will help.  My guy got a book about the glycemic index and has used that to figure out which fruits/veggies are good.

Sarahedger
by Group Owner on Dec. 11, 2010 at 6:15 AM

 

Hmmmmmm,

I had only heard that there was a connection between coffee drinkers being at lower risk for getting type 2 but a new studies shows the caffeine may counter that effect. See link below. This would mean all caffeinated beverages even…even…diet soda dunt dunt dunn!

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/01/29/health/webmd/main3763964.shtml  

So let's have it ladies what do you think??

Sarahedger
by Group Owner on Dec. 11, 2010 at 6:19 AM

Also Heather please please share the menu ideas maybe even in a new post so everyone can see it right away! I bet Jamie would love that too <3

 

And thank you for bringing up the glycemic index. I will in the near future be posting on that. I have a great book all about it as well.

frndlyfn
by on Dec. 11, 2010 at 6:20 AM

Yup My guy usually avoids any caffeine and he does not drink soda at all unless it is an all natural one for a treat and those usually dont have caffeine. I think each person is a case by case. What happens for one, may not happen to another.

WifenMother144
by New Member on Dec. 12, 2010 at 9:44 AM

Hello Sara,

Firstly, i think that your really amazing for taking out so much time to help other women, like myself, who are quite worried and lost about their situations, so thank you very much.

My husband has kept  his diabetes his business, and quite honestly i enjoyed very much not having to take on the load of his health, i trusted what he did and how he told me he was doing., i didnt feel a need to get deeply involved, till recently. It took me a long time to realize that really he is very sick- its not normal for a 28 year old man to be constantly exhausted, be in horrible moods in the mornings and among alot of other things have very little want for sexual intimacy. I think that there is a part of me that dosnt want to accept that this is it, that this is my husband- tired, skinny irritable man that has no desire for me as his wife and very little energy for anything much. He was not like this when we were dating and engaged- he reassured me a million times that he has it under control- working together with his doctors and it will not affect our life together or our children... i dont regret marrying him G-d forbid- i think that im just shocked now- realizing how diabetes has become my main issue in life- and a year and a baby later seeing how my husband who i looked to for security is really very sick physically and emotionally (depressed). Truthfully Sara, I realize now that what i know about diabetes is very limited- reading stuff online just frightens me- i need to know how to deal with it and him. what to feed him?  why its not ok for him to eat whatever he wants and then just inject? why after injecting his numbers are still high? why did he take off all his clothes that night and couldnt stop sweating? why is he in the bathroom so often? etc.. (He is also a smoker) Hes working on that - cut down to 3 cigarettes a day. When i ask him how he's feeling - he says the same- then i ask- which means? and he says - crappy as always... im lost- i need direction. 

Thanks again for taking the time,

Debbie

frndlyfn
by on Dec. 12, 2010 at 10:16 AM

I think diabetes is still a mystery to doctors as well since many that have type 1 or type 2 arent that informed.   If you are interested while sara is gone, i can pull up different recipes for you to try out that are good for the whole family.

WifenMother144
by New Member on Dec. 13, 2010 at 8:31 AM

Yes please, that is so kind of  you... 

My husband dosnt repond well to meat and chicken, dairy products and fish are ok.

Thank you very much,

Debbie

Sarahedger
by Group Owner on Dec. 17, 2010 at 1:03 AM

 Debbie just wanted to let you know I am writing you. I plan on having it done tomorrow 1am here and I am off to bed. I am trying to respond to all your questions using facts as well as what I have relied on being married to a man that fits yours description. Just wanted to let you know I am still on it and thinking of you!

Sarahedger
by Group Owner on Dec. 17, 2010 at 1:06 AM

Heather just wondering if you could pass any info on to us in our recipe section. I can't wait for some new inspiration in the kitchen <3

p.s. as far as the potatoes I think I would be tempted to just mix them in perhaps with a little extra veggies I bet you could pass it off as gravy! Hardy har!

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