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Craft Cafe Craft Cafe

Apparently I'm "stuck up..."

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A family friend is learning to crochet, and sent me a Facebook message asking if I'd be willing to sit down with her and help her learn different stitches and techniques and how to read patterns. I told her that sounded fun, asked when she'd like to get together.
She asked if I could email her all the patterns I have saved so she could practice reading them, and then meet up with me after that. I told her I could send her patterns I have written myself and link her to others that I've gotten for free, but that I have patterns I'm not authorized to distribute because I had bought them from designers.
Well, she sent back:
"I shouldve figured youd be like that. Your so stuck up I just want to learn and you think your better than me why can't you just send me the pattenrs you have instead of hording them for yourself. Oh, because you think your good at crochet and don't want any competition for everyones attention."

Was I in the wrong somehow? I can't be the only one who honors designers' wishes! It's not mine, so I don't give it out!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 12:18 AM
Replies (51-58):
DaiTilley
by Dai on Apr. 10, 2012 at 12:04 AM
I hadn't planned on having that be the end of the conversation; as far as I knew, she was going to come out so I could sit down with her and help her learn. Had I known that the messages were to be the extent of it, you're right, I would've sent her those things. But certainly not purchased/copyrighted patterns


Quoting shaughnna:

I think you should have sent her a few copies of patterns that  were legal to copy, along with some free links off the Internet.  And told her about some good free sites on the net along with a suggestion that she try the local library for any others she might need.  Life is too short to be looking for trouble or in this case cause hard feelings.  I don't  know how close you are to this friend, but a lot of friendships have ended for disputes over things much more serious  than this, in the grand scheme of things in life.


SRS


 


 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
gogetem
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2012 at 12:15 AM
Woah!!!!!! That was really rude. Sheesh! My blood would have been boiling. Im not a fan of mean people....
DaiTilley
by Dai on Apr. 10, 2012 at 12:30 AM
After her response, I went back and re-read what I had sent her... I thought I must have said something rude without meaning to!


Quoting gogetem:

Woah!!!!!! That was really rude. Sheesh! My blood would have been boiling. Im not a fan of mean people....

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
barbb60
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 12:51 AM
I think someone is acting like a spoiled brat....I wouldnt have time to send anyone all the patterns I have...IMHO It just doesnt sound right..to ask for all your patterns..WHY?? You were right as you knew to refuse to send the ones you cant distribute.
sewmama1990
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 1:34 AM

I know you probably don't want to hear this but if you made a promise to her then you must keep it as long as she still wants you to!! I am a firm believer in keeping promises and drill that into my kids all the time!! Be the better person even if you tell her that you are only there because you promised her! If she still wants to then she may or may not try again for those patterns. Again, just remind her that you would be more than happy to share your creations but you cannot share the patterns that you purchased due to copyright infringement!! I don't know why people have to react that way when they are disappointed.

Quoting DaiTilley:

Honestly I would've let her use patterns that I've written myself to learn with, just not ones I've purchased, but now I don't want to even meet with her to teach her!


Quoting sewmama1990:

No, you were perfectly right in your response! She is the one with the problem!! She is bent out of shape because you didn't give her your patterns for FREE!! Don't let it bother you!!



ZsMommy
by Heids on Apr. 10, 2012 at 8:31 AM
Wow....
Just wow!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
DaiTilley
by Dai on Apr. 10, 2012 at 12:54 PM
You're right. Now that I've had time to step away from the situation, I am going to send her another message letting her know that I'm still available if she wants to meet up and learn. In the meantime, I'm going to gather up patterns that I AM able to give her, and have a small binder of them. Should she say she doesn't want to meet, I'll just include the binder as part of my sister's present for her birthday in June c;


Quoting sewmama1990:

I know you probably don't want to hear this but if you made a promise to her then you must keep it as long as she still wants you to!! I am a firm believer in keeping promises and drill that into my kids all the time!! Be the better person even if you tell her that you are only there because you promised her! If she still wants to then she may or may not try again for those patterns. Again, just remind her that you would be more than happy to share your creations but you cannot share the patterns that you purchased due to copyright infringement!! I don't know why people have to react that way when they are disappointed.

Quoting DaiTilley:

Honestly I would've let her use patterns that I've written myself to learn with, just not ones I've purchased, but now I don't want to even meet with her to teach her!





Quoting sewmama1990:

No, you were perfectly right in your response! She is the one with the problem!! She is bent out of shape because you didn't give her your patterns for FREE!! Don't let it bother you!!





Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sewmama1990
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 1:41 PM

That is great! Awesome idea with the binder if she doesn't appreciate that then she doesn't deserve it but still give it to her if you meet!!...LOL Let us know what happens!!

Quoting DaiTilley:

You're right. Now that I've had time to step away from the situation, I am going to send her another message letting her know that I'm still available if she wants to meet up and learn. In the meantime, I'm going to gather up patterns that I AM able to give her, and have a small binder of them. Should she say she doesn't want to meet, I'll just include the binder as part of my sister's present for her birthday in June c;


Quoting sewmama1990:

I know you probably don't want to hear this but if you made a promise to her then you must keep it as long as she still wants you to!! I am a firm believer in keeping promises and drill that into my kids all the time!! Be the better person even if you tell her that you are only there because you promised her! If she still wants to then she may or may not try again for those patterns. Again, just remind her that you would be more than happy to share your creations but you cannot share the patterns that you purchased due to copyright infringement!! I don't know why people have to react that way when they are disappointed.

Quoting DaiTilley:

Honestly I would've let her use patterns that I've written myself to learn with, just not ones I've purchased, but now I don't want to even meet with her to teach her!





Quoting sewmama1990:

No, you were perfectly right in your response! She is the one with the problem!! She is bent out of shape because you didn't give her your patterns for FREE!! Don't let it bother you!!






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