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Kind of ot, this doesn't sit well with me. Piog

Posted by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:27 AM
  • 12 Replies
I wanted some outside opinions on this before I do anything. My mil asked me to make a doll and now a haul bag for her great grand daughter. Problem is she's not doing any of the work or even buying the supplies but going to give these items as gifts from her to her great grand daughter anyways. I don't mind doing it but it is time away from cleaning or doing something else I need to do. The thing is if she's not contributing in any ways to this gift except to ship it then its not really like it's from her but from me except it is not going to be from me if that makes sense. I've made items for my mom to give people before and she's always paid for the materials and put both of our names on the card. Which seems only fair. Idk why but this whole thing doesn't sit well with me and I'm seriously considering telling her I can't do it. I just don't want to upset my husband. I honestly don't care much about my mil. She's just looking to not spend any money on a gift and take credit for something that isn't even hers. So my question is am I right to be upset about this?
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by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
AngryBob
by Bronze Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:43 AM
1 mom liked this

absolutely, you should be a bit miffed, especially if it's taking time and materials to make. i know of photographers and hair stylists that are constantly asked for free services because they are friends or family.

my mom asked me to draw a picture for her father's birthday, but she did all of the research and everything for it, and paid for the shipping (because i wasn't able to make it in time before her flight), and i used materials that i already had. she joked that she "commissioned a local artist" for the job.

just let your mil know that you charge $X for your services. if she has a problem with that, let her know that she's getting the family discount, or she can go elsewhere.

The_Monster_Mom
by Emerald Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 2:20 PM

I would ask for compensation for the supplies... Good luck!

mybratsmom
by Bronze Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 3:56 PM
Yuck. Tell her to pay for the materials. Supplies aren't free. Time isn't free either, but you could tell her it's part of the "family discount".
I, personally, wouldn't do it. People take advantage too much and, in my opinion, doing this would just swing that door right off the hinges.
Good luck with this.
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Brieshon
by Silver Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 6:31 PM
this!


Quoting mybratsmom:

Yuck. Tell her to pay for the materials. Supplies aren't free. Time isn't free either, but you could tell her it's part of the "family discount".

I, personally, wouldn't do it. People take advantage too much and, in my opinion, doing this would just swing that door right off the hinges.

Good luck with this.

rhiannonaisling
by Melanie on Sep. 6, 2013 at 6:54 PM

This

Quoting mybratsmom:

Yuck. Tell her to pay for the materials. Supplies aren't free. Time isn't free either, but you could tell her it's part of the "family discount".
I, personally, wouldn't do it. People take advantage too much and, in my opinion, doing this would just swing that door right off the hinges.
Good luck with this.


melliburger
by Melli on Sep. 6, 2013 at 7:54 PM

Yes, be upset I would be. Tell her you'll do the items but under the following conditions:

1) your name goes on there somehow

2) she pays for materials at least

and wellw hatever else you want her to do.

if she cannot or will not agree to your terms then no go and you don't do anythin g:)

dizzy77702
by Bronze Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 10:50 PM
Unfortunately me saying no just opened a can of worms between me and my husband. He thinks I should just do it bc she helps us out sometimes by watching the kids. At this point it doesn't seem worth it to put up a stink based on principles especially if it's going to cause me and my husband to fight.


Quoting melliburger:

Yes, be upset I would be. Tell her you'll do the items but under the following conditions:

1) your name goes on there somehow

2) she pays for materials at least

and wellw hatever else you want her to do.

if she cannot or will not agree to your terms then no go and you don't do anythin g:)


MrsSexyCurtains
by Jasmine on Sep. 6, 2013 at 11:52 PM
1 mom liked this
See my mom always watched dd and never once wanted anything in return. I don't think you owe this to her just because she watches your children. If that's how your husband feels then next time tell him not to ask her to watch them so you won't owe her anything.

I feel grandparents should want to watch their grandchild and not treat it as a chore or favor.


Quoting dizzy77702:

Unfortunately me saying no just opened a can of worms between me and my husband. He thinks I should just do it bc she helps us out sometimes by watching the kids. At this point it doesn't seem worth it to put up a stink based on principles especially if it's going to cause me and my husband to fight.




Quoting melliburger:

Yes, be upset I would be. Tell her you'll do the items but under the following conditions:

1) your name goes on there somehow

2) she pays for materials at least

and wellw hatever else you want her to do.

if she cannot or will not agree to your terms then no go and you don't do anythin g:)



nebcutie
by Bronze Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 11:58 PM
2 moms liked this
I would just ask her " so do you want to go getvthe materials together or will you just drop them off?" As for your husband being upset just tell him if she would get the supplies then it would not be that big of a deal.
DaiTilley
by Dai on Sep. 7, 2013 at 12:13 AM
I think this is a classic case of people not realizing the worth of handmade items. It does have the expense of the materials, and on top of that, there is planning, time, and effort involved that people don't always appreciate.
I had someone ask if I could "whip something up" for someone in a weekend. When I told her that I'd need money for supplies and probably more time than the weekend, she said "why? Isn't it just a hobby?"
They don't realize that they're labeling it as "just a hobby" while also thinking of it as a worthwhile gift! The reason it's a good gift is because of the time and thought put into it, and those things have value!!
Ok. Rant over.
I think asking her about getting materials together or her picking them up is a good suggestion; it's a good nonconfrontational way to introduce the point.
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